manny

Hi everyone! My psychiatrist told me that she found a therapist who is super good at treating OCD. He is good alright!! She told me it would be fore 12 sessions and at first I didn't think anything about it but now (4 sessions left) I am super sad that we only have a couple meetings left. I have never met someone as good as him, someone who I honestly completely open up to. I know it is not the case but I feel ''abandonned'' in a way.. What should I do now. The possibility of seeing him again in the near futur is off (I already asked and it's complicated in the governement system). So in a month, I will be all alone.

Hi Support Volunteer I have bipolar disorder type 2 and they said that for now we need to take a break because they say I am in a manic episode... What do you mean by the cognitive side of CBT?

Hmm guys, I have a problem... My therapist and my psychiatrist told me that I am not stable enough to continue ERP (exposure response prevention) therapy. What in the world do I do now?

For me, he started off telling me what ocd is and how it works with ur brain. He compared ocd to the movie character Pennywise from the movie ''IT''. He told me that ocd is like Pennywise... they both feed off fear and when you don't give them that, they deflate and becomes very very small. We also are doing exposure scripts where you expose yourself to a intrusive thought by writting it down (the scenario) and reading it about 10 times a day until it becomes less distressing. (this sound horrible, it is at first but yes it does work!!) we work on other things and other exercises as well. He never suggested that I liked the thoughts. I brought it up because, like you, it was one of my biggest fears!! (send me a private message for more info ?

I honestly feel the same. Personnally I was forced as a child to talk about ocd with my mother and the children's hospital psychiatrist (since I was under 15 at that time). I would never say what it was about because I feared that my mom would be scared too! It is really hard even though they are our parents. The media surely doesn't help but this psychologist on youtube : OCD & Anxiety, helped me feel less alone by times. check it out if you're interested.

Anybody else out here debating whether or not you like your intrusive thoughts? After a couple exposures, the distress goes down. and then I am like: wait, if I am not anxious anymore it must mean I like them? (and I go through the whole ''what does it mean'' spiral over again) Or is it just me?

honestly you are 100% right. Everyone thinks we are clean freaks.. (don't get me wrong some ocd sufferers have difficulty with germs and all but not all of us). Oh my god the ''everybody's a little bit OCD'' thing is so annoying. I feel you 100%. Once my dad was putting the table and re-placed the forks correctly and said : OCD. (while laughing) I was TRIGGERED! fun to talk with you xx

I saw him today and .... actually I saw him monday and he said he felt I wasn't stable enough to continue ERP (exposure and response therapy) for now. He wanted to see me today, wich we did. I am seeing my psychiatrist friday though. He is very concerned for the ''drop'' (depression episode). At the moment, I can honestly tell you I am connected to reality, I am still in a manic episode. A trick I learned with my doctor is to try to rely on my ''rational side''. Emotionally I am on top of the world but rationally I am a bit concerned.. Honestly thank you for taking the time to talk with me... I am new on here and i think I will stick to this website. It feels great to have people to talk too that I don't fear will judge me..

Hi Summer9173 I am so sorry to hear your story. Ive had a similar experience with my dad when I told him I had OCD and he did a joke about it. I understand your pain is very present. I honestly wish you best of luck in your recovery.

Snowbear Thank you so much for your advice, it helps me put in things in order in my head! I feel like it makes sense now

Saffron 37 Thank you for your sweet words... The problem is that I am in a manic episode right now and don't feel shame . I feel great actually. I am more concerned by the down fall (bipolar depression episode).

only I am feeling very concerned at the moment

ok hi. this is my first post. I am a 18 years old girl living with ocd since I am 12. I was you (as my therapist says) ''text book'' ocd. Very typical intrusive thoughts about harm, sex, magical thinking and so on. I also suffer from Bipolar Disorder type 2. I am medicated but still on the path to find the right fit. Anyways, here's my problem... The last exposure session I had with my therapist, we wrote a new script... this time it was about sexual intrusive thoughts. It was my first time actually exposing myself to them since we started slowly with the other less distressing thoughts (don't get me wrong they still were awful but something about the sexual ones was way more distressing to me). Sexual intrusive thoughts started as thoughts, then became images then scenarios and finally arousal. So I went home and did the script. (if u know, u know). I felt good about doing the exposure, I felt more in control and watched my anxiety drop completely. And then I made a oopsie. Without the opinion of my therapist or my psychiatrist, I decided that I would take the exposure a little too far. I decided that for every person I had had a sexual intrusive thought about, I would masturbate myself while purposely thinking of them with the goal of ''decreasing the feeling of distress''.. basically what exposure is for. At the time, it was like : ah **** it, I can do this, **** this ocd ********, i am better than the ocd... But as you can expect, that didn't go too well. I then associated intrusive thoughts with pleasure. And that ****** me up. I went into a manic episode of masturbating for most parts of the day for about 4-5 days... about 20 orgasm per day. What started off as my worst fear of being attracted to certain people turned into a manic fantasy episode of non sense. If I am going to be really super honest, I changed my perspective of my sexual assault by exposing (masturbating) myself to that experience and now associated pleasure with a really traumatic event. The possibility of this being a defence mechanism is real. So now I'm stuck in a manic episode that went wrong... (oh and I forgot to tell u guys that I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt right after the manic episode)

hi! As someone in treatment for ocd, I understand where you are coming from with the ''research''. I get it, trust me I do. This is going to sound so stupid but for once try not to think about it, don't go trying to find a solution. Accept that it is what it is. Maybe it is and maybe it is not. There is no way to be sure. And when u get into that state of ''oh I have to research this, I have to know that''. I am not a professional but I believe that dealing with uncertainty is hard for you as much as it is for me. U want the answer so bad. But as harsh as this could be, there is no answer. And not you are going to tell me : well maybe there is.... NO, that is ur ocd talking. Remember: Maybe it is and maybe it is not. There is no way to be sure.