njb

I hear you. It's very confusing but read through the replies. Some very insightful thoughts. Not only is it well within boundaries to react in that way but also you're so so focused, intensely so and you've super changed your brain to react. I get it. The feeling of more arousal, the feeling you've unearthed some unacceptable desire. It's ocd. The moment you think oh no i can't on no please not this, I can't be into that, it happens. I'm doing it when I read your post. That groin response, the fear, the dread, the belief I'm like it. God luck.

Sounds like you're able to move on now. It's not easy to see ocd thrown about and especially having a slight thrown in against your own situation. Chill, you've expressed yourself and let go.

Massively and therein lies endless doubt, confusion, guilt, shame, utter false conviction...shall I go on!? I'm a complete and utter 'hand up' compulsive self tester. But I'm working on it. Even when you think you are having a good day it will get you! Distract!

Hi headwreck. We've all been there. I'm same with the rumination but the advice above is right as is your boyfriend. You do know that but reassurance is a temptation indeed. Perhaps not knowing how to stop ruminating is just what it is. Pointless. Like painting over wet paint. The answer perhaps is in doing anything at all with the aim of distraction. Good luck as I'm so terrible at rumination i would win olympics but we have to not try try (see what I did)... We are hardly bias in our thinking so applying our brains to testing or rumination is not a great idea. Let me know when you crack it😊

Very insightful and something for everyone there.

Be interested what study said 10%. Would have scared me to tears a while back but i know now stats need quantifying for perspective such as quantifying what constitutes a child and participation numbers to extrapolate 10%. It has been reported sex surveys attract a type. Just saying.

Thoughts are with you both

Hi headwreck. Just saying hi really as not much too add which hasn't been said. Wondering if it's ocd is just another ocd thing. You know that and like you'd tell me no googling 😓 Hope you're doing a little better.

Just wanted to say hi to everyone and it's a valuable insight which is kind of obvious but not overly expressed about environmental experiences. Wishing everyone a great day Njb

Hi nicolettecb, I had a bit of relationship type obsession for a fair time but it didn't really stick or create too much of an issue for myself at the time thank goodness (other obsessions took place and stayed) so perhaps I'm not best placed to reply or provise best intended words but we are all facing same thing. I'm not an expert but sounds like you have the ingredients of ocd and it sounds like it's causing you anxiety and the compulsion to ruminate over it. Have you been to see a counsellor if you don't mind me asking? Njb Ps as always very easy to see ocd in others and give 'advice' but that doesn't mean I can follow it myself

Hi. Groinal response is well documented. It's nothing to do with what you fear but it's there due to the fear and all the **** that goes with it. Arousal and attention mixed with anxiety and fear, it's a hotbed. The urge and feeling is all your ocd at play. Could be about your mum or the neighbours lawn mower. You should be able to search groinal response here but I can tell you you're not alone as it can do all sorts down there for men and women alike. It's not an indicator of how you feel.

OCD was there before I thought about liking or not as I was scanning for signs of attraction and age before saying ok she's cute or pretty so what ie employing acceptance. Trouble is I then got spikes and feared I liked the person as I'd applied real me. I think I'd accepted but the taken a passing pretty to a level of really liked. Hence the fear. No doubt I've gone from a normal thought of thinking that person is attractive and ocd latched on. Damn it. Why can't I even just think someone is pretty or attractive without thinking it defines my whole sexuality...or rather why won't ocd just *** off! I will stop now ! Hope you're ok as I know you're back to work soon. You'll be great. X

I think I said to self just accept she's pretty when I was trying to assess her age and it's the fear that I've accepted I liked her based on her face when actually I recall flipping between she's older and younger and then saying so what and instantly feeling sick if she was younger. OCD def involved.

Erm....ok will do now !

On reflection I may have scanned and couldn't attribute an age and saw both younger and 18 ish facial features so just went it's ok to think someone is pretty then freaked and then looked and saw her as 18 plus. The fact that I felt she was attractive and the tried to accept she was below 18 worried me as I probably didn't classify her in my mind like I always do. I don't know. I'm tired. Just upset as my ocd telling me it's me not ocd at all.