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Rosie

Bulletin Board User
  • Posts

    169
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About Rosie

  • Birthday December 6

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Sufferer
  • Type of OCD
    Emetophobia sufferer, so my OCD is mainly contamination based, but also suffer from magical and intrusive OCD thoughts too

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Dorset, England
  1. I really feel for you, norovirus is something I don't even like contemplating!!!!! I would say go and see your doctor there's a time and a place to face anxiety and when you're feeling as overwhelmed as this it seems you're gonna find it very difficult to 'sit through it'. That's just my opinion and I really hope things work out. I know how hard it can be to manage such a fear and get on with life. You're doing really well x
  2. Hi everyone Just to get this off my chest really but how have your family and friends reacted to your ocd and the disruption it causes? I still live with my parents and they believe that I'm making a lot of my symptoms (constant nausea and extreme anxiety) up. I have severe contamination problems as my greatest fear is vomiting. I know how disruptive it can be but they don't know that I've also been diagnosed with depression and derealization and that I'm keeping that from them because they'll turn round and say 'you've got nothing to be depressed about' 'I know you feel bad but you have to try harder' How the f@!?£& am I meant to try harder? I've been signed off work for two months which is causing me a lot of stress as my work want to check up on me to see if I'm trying to get the sick pay and not work. My parents think I should be at work and are annoyed that I dropped out of college because I couldn't handle it. They think that after having CBT, taking my pills and seeing the psychotherapist that everything must surely be hunky dorey. I literally have NO IDEA how to talk to them in a way that will actually get the message across! Sorry for the ramble :/
  3. Thanks so much for all the responses I didn't elaborate to them because I do think that if its not a problem it's none of their business. I got the job with the intention of not getting so ill with ocd again but it didnt turn out that way. I know being at home is 'hiding' but i do think there is a difference between a bit of stress and beinf overwhelmed. With OCD being so bad at the moment its making life near impossible I've come very close a few times this last month to walking into A&E due to feeling so hopeless and desolate about life. I've made an appointment with my GP and have called in ill to work and explained that I will be providing a GPs note either tomorrow or early next week depending on when GP can fit me in. Do you think that sounds okay? Rosie x
  4. Hi Sarah thanks so much for your answer I have a feeling my work is not going to be so generous especially as I only work part time and its probably cheaper for them to just replace me :/ At the moment I'm having psychotherapy due to trauma in my childhood which we want to see whether it links into the OCD which it kinda does. I also had a year of intensive CBT and am currently on fluoxetine. Rosie x
  5. Hello I have a part time job at a supermarket doing 15 hours a week alongside going to college. When I went for interviews I mentioned that I'd had panic attacks in the past but that they didn't affect me anymore - I didn't as far as I can remember saying that I have severe OCD and depression (although my college know this as my attendance is shocking). Things have taken a horrible dive recently as the main issue with OCD for me is contamination and I feel constantly nauseous which will spike a few times a day to the point where I am convinced I will be sick (my greatest fear, more scared of that than dying - stupid I know). Needless to say this comes with huge amounts of anxiety and the depression has been crippling as it comes with derealization and depersonalisation for me. I would really like to be able to take time away from work but I don't think they would pay me as I haven't disclosed what I really have (started job 2011 was diagnosed in 2009/10) and I need to pay my bills! Being a young person (19) the managers are normally very condescending and patronising too. I'm also very concerned that they could fire me. I know it would be too late to disclose that I have OCD and then also say that I'm taking weeks off work! Argh this doesn't make much sense, sorry guys! Any advice would be thoroughly welcomed as I am in the familiar territory known as living hell once again!!! Rosie x
  6. Thank you for your replies guys I don't want to have another course of CBT again as it drove me crazy and made me feel like an idiot as I was well aware what my thought processes were/are and how that was going to impact on my behaviour and how OCD caused 'faulty thinking' patterns. I think the way I think about things just doesn't seem compatible which I know sounds really daft! Unfortunately the CBT therapist I had was very experienced in OCD and had treated many other people before myself - she was great at her job and we got on really well the majority of the time. I was put on Mirtazapine at the start but was moved to Fluoxetine when that didn't work - I'm very picky with medication and it took months for me to be convinced enough to take any haha. - Zeradin, my psychiatrist does the same thing and checks things in her many books almost every session i have with her, which I don't know whether to find reassuring or worrying! Don't worry about hijacking, I'm a really bad rambler myself haha
  7. Hello everyone, it's been a ridiculous amount of time since I was last on here! I had CBT at an intensive tier 4 CAMHS centre for over a year, starting with the first couple of months being 2, one hour sessions a week which dropped to one a week. I achieved almost nothing in this year until I was placed on Fluoxetine a couple of months before the therapy ended. The medicine allowed me to brave my way back into college and I got a bit better on my own. A month or so after ending with that therapist I picked up where I'd left off with another, this time for more of a general psychotherapeutic approach to see if talking about pretty traumatic experiences I had earlier in life would help. (I've now been doing this for twice a week for 10 months!!!) Neither of these has helped and I am basically taking the medication (which I hate doing) to dull the panic and obsessions, which feels like it they are coming back regardless, because I haven't found a useful long term way of actually dealing with the OCD. I also have very very bad depersonalization and de-realization and have often said this to the first therapist, a psychologist, the second therapist AND a psychiatrist and it has been pretty much ignored as I have a feeling that they just don't have any way of helping me which is so so frustrating as I really do not want to live my life feeling like nothing is really real whilst dealing with all the **** that OCD puts me through too. I have also said to 3 out of the 4 people mentioned above that I have and do feel suicidal but no-one has taken much notice at all, the most I've had in response is 'Okay, does this happen often?' and when I say yes they just ponder it and then move on!!! I honestly have no idea what to do, there doesn't seem much point in trying CBT again as I found the whole approach really frustrating and was never able to go through the ERP work properly as I was too frightened. The psychotherapy just leaves me feeling angrier because I'm spending stupid amounts of time not talking about much and am sat there knowing full well that the person across from me has no answers whatsoever. I know this is a long shot but is there anything else that can be done? Rosie x
  8. I'm in the process of finishing A levels and OCD definitely gets worse with deadlines! I just try and set manageable chunks to get done everyday with the reward of say watching another 10 minutes of a DVD, then doing the next chunk of work and same again
  9. I'm on 20mg and considering going up to 40mg in the next month or so Rosie x
  10. Hi! I've been on it for nearly a year. It's helped to tone down my anxiety in the fact that I don't outright panic anymore, but I still get very very anxious. However, if I hadn't taken it I would never have been able to go to College or do half the things I'm doing now. Rosie x
  11. Hello Molly! I always get like this too! I think only getting an hour a week or so makes you want to cram in as much as possible in one session! Rosie x
  12. Oh blimey, I'm like this! I even get worried about where other people have been walking! Rosie x
  13. Hello! When I first started really suffering with OCD I would avoid meeting with friends like the plague! It didn't take long for them to get a little annoyed when I couldn't explain myself properly and one of my friends refused to talk to me! What brought her round was me telling her what was going on and explaining to my friends that I wasn't avoiding them! Take care, Rosie x
  14. Hello! I used to have the same problem, and the fancying thing was really annoying! (OCD thinks of the weirdest things haha) I did find trying to look at people quickly and maybe look at the space between their eyes instead of directly at them helped a little. Rosie x
  15. College is okay at the moment, but with winter coming, I'm starting to get quite jumpy about all the bugs going around! I have other bits of OCD like magical thinking and so on, but it's mainly just vomit-related! Rosie x
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