Mcajshaw

Thanks Felix

Just wondered what you guys would suggest for the best way to deal with OCD thoughts about things that you have actually said or done. I received a text message earlier from someone I am close too, but I saw the name of the person and a message pop out and I said out loud "Oh F*** off" to myself. Not too sure why I did, was probably feeling a bit stressed and blurting it out a bit too. Now I feel a bit guilty about having done this and now thoughts about saying this are getting "stuck". Trouble is, I am finding it harder to dismiss this as it is actually something I HAVE SAID, not just a thought. Any advice appreciated, thanks and Merry Christmas.

cool thanks guys

Could you advise of the best practical steps over Christmas to help me stop attaching to different things to feel guilty about, and having the overwhelming urge to confess them before I can feel happy?

Thank you, you always have the right words Polar Bear. I always feel more empowered after your replies. Thanks ?

I feel super anxious this morning. I am used to having inappropriate thoughts come into my head and pretty good at dealing with them now and dismissing them after many years and some great CBT work in the past. However, this morning I blurted something out audibly (only in my own company) which makes it seem much worse than just a thought. It is something I would never do or want to do in real life but now that it has come out of my mouth (rather than just a thought in my head) I feel really guilty and awful about it. I cannot say it is just a thought because it came out of my mouth audibly. I cannot stop thinking about it and it is now distressing me.

I know a lot of this is down to Christmas and because I enjoyed it so much as a child I really want to enjoy it. At time of pressure and stress comes with an overwhelming urge to confess to family members things I may have done, said or thought in the past. Often I will subtlety get them into conversation or phone specifically to bring them up to get temporary relief. However at the moment, it is going one stage further where I am feeling the need to confess things that my friends/people I know might have said or done in the past (which I know sounds ridiculous when it is not even things I have said or done!). Almost all are silly innocuous things that most people would not give a second thought to anyway. I know confessing is NOT the answer, but at the same time these thoughts about past events that I have said/done/thought or friends have/said/done though seem to get "very stuck" and make it hard for me to be happy in the moment until I can release them. Any advice, words of encouragement on this to help me enjoy this time of year would be most appreciated. There is always the thought that "if I just mention this one" I feel will better etc. Thanks Jon

Ah bless you Tiger thanks so much for this. How strange but also reassuring that you should feel the same way. I love Christmas but I think my OCD knows that and yours too and tries to find a way to scupper it. Thanks for your kind reply and good avice too. Jon

Hi All, Ever since I was a boy I have always enjoyed Christmas time and find it a nice special time of year. Because I enjoy it and it is special to me I find that I am more susceptible to my OCD at this time of the year. I have noticed lately my mind coming up more and more with things I have done, might have done (but can't remember properly so my mind runs riot), and these thoughts get "stuck" in my mind. I have the strong urge to "confess" them to bring about some relief, but I know that confessing/reassurance is not a good idea, as it tends to offer short term relief and then something else jumps in and it snowballs. The problem is whilst at the moment I am resisting the urge to confess/reassure to family members, I am noticing that the thoughts about previous thoughts/actions are remaining stuck in the brain. It feels like they are not going to go anywhere, and whilst reassurance is never good it feels like it would offer the relief to get rid of them. I don't want to give in to the OCD on one hand but at the same time I don't want to feel miserable/pre-occupied/guilty for large portions of December with these thoughts and memories "stuck". I don't know what to do and wondered if anyone could give me any advice? Thanks

Hi, I have suffered with Pure O OCD but had good CBT many years ago and take fluoxetine now. Just had a quite frightening experience that I cannot stop thinking about, hence the posting on this forum tonight. Just of late for reasons unknown occasionally the random Pure O stuff that comes into my head is sometimes coming out verbally when I am alone (I work at home, live by myself). As you know some of the Pure O OCD thoughts we have can be abhorent and very disturbing and can be on horrible subjects. And now the odd time these things have suddenly come out aloud (out of the blue) and I am feeling really guilty that it means I should be feel awful and there must be hidden meaning attached (because it has been in the spoken word rather than just a thought). They are often random sentences (and always when I am alone and mind just wandering and not thinking about anything in particular) that appear to make no sense and don't happen too often, but occasionally as tonight when I blurt out something deeply inappropriate I feel really guilty and scared. The fact when I heard the sentence come out it was inappropriate I immediately feel guilt and have not been able to forget about it. I can handle inappropriate and random thoughts that appear in my head now as I can understand it is just a mental event, but now it has been spoken randomly by me it feels much much worse, as I can not just say a thought is a thought as it blurted out audibly and became an ACTION not a though. And now I cannot stop thinking about it. Any help and advice much appreciated.

Hi Robbie Can't help too much as I'm not sure what the best advice to give is. But your themes of both sexual identity and religious themes seem to mirror mine, I just posted about sexuality/attraction half an hour ago! Just posting this to encourage you if I can. Understand exactly why you didn't want to play footy tonight, but why not try and galvanise yourself and go out for a run or something instead. It won't solve your problems of course, but it might help you. I wish you all the best and remember things can improve and there is no reason going forward why they cannot for you. Best of luck mate and keep plugging away.

Hi All I have posted a few times over the years regarding my constant rumination and confusion about my attraction to females and males and constant rumination and checking of attraction (never had a serious girlfriend in my 30's now) and been on a hamster wheel as Polar Bear rightly put it off trying to understand myself and genuine confusion about sexuality. I realise I need to step up my game again in terms of not checking and ruminating over the subject (looking at instagram, facebook, TV to check for attraction etc) and try to leave it alone from an OCD perspective which is always tough. However , I also know that psycho-sexual therapy is available by referral on the NHS and given my age and the length of time this has gone on I feel it might be time to at least give this a go (if my GP approves) and see what I can achieve with it, alongside my strategy from an OCD perspective. My question really is, has anyone else who has ruminated and obsessed about sexuality sought help also through Psycho-sexual therapy, and, if so was it was beneficial alongside implementing OCD CBT strategies. Many thanks

Hi 7zurg, Sorry to hear of your struggles. And do not worry about your English, it is excellent. I've been suffering from similar things to you, I believe if we continue to do the same checking and rumination we will not make any progress. Perhaps you would like to read the post I made and the replies I got to help you also:

Thanks so much to both Chris B and PolarBear, very clear advice and practical instruction. As an OCD sufferer you kind of know deep down what needs to be done but it can help so much when someone else sees it from a different angle. Thanks so much to the both of you, I will keep re-visiting your thoughtful replies. You will have seen Polarbear that in my original post I included a quote from a previous post from you in reply to somebody else, sound advice for sure. Thanks again to you both, Cheers Jon.

Hi everyone I'll start by giving a little background. I am a 35 years old male and have never had a relationship which I understand is very unusual. I go on dates and the online stuff and try and meet people but haven't found anyone yet. I am sociable, friendly decent person with no ties. I am constantly confused by the idea that at times I may find men attractive. I'm not sure If I really do, or if it's just in my head, I become so confused and tormented by it all that I really don't know what is going on anymore. It is making me very depressed, costing me hours of my life thinking and ruminating and to my mind has no resolution in sight. It goes on and on and I thought it's time I ask for advice because it has been a very private problem that has stayed in my head in many years now. I had ten sessions of CBT this summer two years ago, and I know I need not to check and look at photos etc but it is so so hard. Also how can I stop thinking about the subject even if I am not checking, ie the ruminating about who I am? I seem to spend lots of time on many days, looking at photos of people and celebrities on instagram, facebook and the internet to see if I find guys attractive, or how I feel about them shirtless. I will click on a friends facebook page and click to friends of theirs I do not know to look at the photos of all their friends too. I'll look at people when I am shopping and get anxious if I think I find them attractive. I know looking and checking is very much a reassurance method and a way of checking things. Other days I am convinced I am straight and someone who is just totally confused by everything. But I really do not know. The reverse happens and I look at women and worry I am not attracted to them as much as a straight man would be. I do not seem to care much for breasts like most guys do which is a trigger for me to ruminate. And a time when most people have had several relationships, and some married with babies it's hard to get to this time of life and still not know yourself. I couldn't tell you if I am straight, gay, bi-sexual, a-sexual but it is making my life so tough at the moment! I can find a guy with a 6-pack on instragram attractive, but I am not sure if this is gay or just being able to see that someone good looking and air brushed and spending their life in the gym looks good. (again ruminating whilst I type this, you get the picture). I have read lots about HOCD (excuse the acronym) and much of it seems to ring true with the obsessing and anxiety I am experiencing around my personal life. I was just hoping by posting on here, someone might be able to give me some practical advice of how I can help myself and get to the bottom of this. I've some bad times with the OCD but I have never felt so low as I do with issue which gives me many dark thoughts and hours of ruminating and anxiety. I know I shouldn't check and analyse but it seems it be on mind morning, noon and night and I can't escape it. I have self-referred to the NHS once more to try and have a final crack at overcoming this as I know it is possible as I found with my OCD for intrusive thoughts in my university days where myself and my therapist worked so well together and made huge progress on a different subject matter. This subject I have ruminated, googled, and analysed for a decade and I am still stuck. I panic because life goes quickly and I am not getting anywhere. I genuinely do not know my orientation and feelings and such like and I need some good advice and even a kick up the bum and I know this is always the best and most informed place on OCD to get that. Thanks for taking the time to read my post and hopefully you will have some good advice for me. Enjoy the weekend guys and keep smiling :-) Best wishes, Jon. P.S - I read a quote from PolarBear to another person's post on a similar theme that I looked at on here this morning. I think it is a great quote and one I definitely need to take on board: "Keep doing the same things you have been and you'll be doomed to that twilight zone forever".

Hi everyone I'll start by giving a little background. I am a 33 years old male and have never had a relationship which I understand is very unusual. I go on dates and the online stuff and try and meet people but haven't found anyone yet. I am sociable, friendly decent person with no ties. I am constantly confused by the idea that at times I may find men attractive. I'm not sure If I really do, or if it's just in my head, I become so confused and tormented by it all that I really don't know what is going on anymore. It is making me very depressed, costing me hours of my life thinking and ruminating and to my mind has no resolution in sight. It goes on and on and I thought it's time I ask for advice because it has been a very private problem that has stayed in my head in many years now. ** I had ten sessions of CBT this summer and I know I need not to check and look at photos etc but it is so so hard. Also how can I stop thinking about the subject even if I am not checking, ie the ruminating about who I am? I seem to spend lots of time on many days, looking at photos of people and celebrities on instagram, facebook and the internet to see if I find guys attractive, or how I feel about them shirtless. I will click on a friends facebook page and click to friends of theirs I do not know to look at the photos of all their friends too. I'll look at people when I am shopping and get anxious if I think I find them attractive. I know looking and checking is very much a reassurance method and a way of checking things. Other days I am convinced I am straight and someone who is just totally confused by everything. But I really do not know. And a time when most people have had several relationships, and some married with babies it's hard to get to this time of life and still not know yourself. I couldn't tell you if I am straight, gay, bi-sexual, a-sexual but it is making my life so tough at the moment! I have read a bit about HOCD (excuse the acronym) and much of it seems to ring true with the obsessing and anxiety I am experiencing around my personal life. I was just hoping by posting on here, someone might be able to give me some practical advice of how I can help myself and get to the bottom of this. I've some bad times with the OCD but I have never felt so low as I do with issue which gives me many dark thoughts and hours of ruminating and anxiety. I know I shouldn't check and analyse but it seems it be on mind morning, noon and night and I can't escape it.

I'll start by giving a little background. I am a 33 years old male and have never had a relationship which I understand is very unusual. I go on dates and the online stuff and try and meet people but haven't found anyone yet. I am sociable, friendly decent person with no ties. I am constantly confused by the idea that at times I may find men attractive. I'm not sure If I really do, or if it's just in my head, I become so confused and tormented by it all that I really don't know what is going on anymore. I definitely have sexual orientation OCD which which I have begun CBT. I seem to spend lots of time on many days, looking at photos of people and celebrities on instagram, facebook and the internet to see if I find guys attractive, or how I feel about them shirtless. I will click on a friends facebook page and click to friends of theirs I do not know to look at the photos of all their friends too. I'll look at people when I am shopping and get anxious if I think I find them attractive. I know looking and checking is very much a reassurance method and a way of checking things. Other days I am convinced I am straight and someone who is just totally confused by everything. But I really do not know. And a time when most people have had several relationships, and some married with babies it's hard to get to this time of life and still not know yourself. I couldn't tell you if I am straight, gay, bi-sexual, a-sexual but it is making my life so tough at the moment! I have started to receive CBT for this, but it's the very early stages and any practical steps to stop checking/thinking would be helpful. An additional question I have is this...I am on a few dating websites (Match etc), but not sure if trying to meet girls or analysising my attractiveness to them is a good idea in this stage of my journey. I often doubt my attraction to women, and sometimes specifically to breasts which guys seem to obsess about. But at the same time I am 33 and if I am a straight guy then you never know I might someone, so it's a difficult one. If I just come off them, is that just more avoidance? Should I left the whole thing of sexual orientation alone full stop and come of those sites, or will that not help? Any thoughts/advice much appreciated. Jon

Remember the thoughts are causing you some much distress because they are not the sort of thoughts you would choose to have. This is OCD talking not you. If you were happy with the thoughts, you would not be upset. I suffered badly with Pure O thoughts before CBT. You need to do your best and say "Hey I'm going to let that thought come in my head and pay it as little attention as I can. It's only a thought". And in turn time, OCD will find that actually you are no longer being bullied by these thoughts, you can let them flow through your head and out of the other side. It will take time, but you can do it my friend. Persevere with your CBT and do your best, Keep going mate.

Thanks so much for all for your thoughtful replies, I am just going to print this thread to keep for me to read. Thank you all again.

Hi everyone I don't tend to post on here much now as I was one of the lucky ones who received excellent CBT and help and for the most part overcome my Pure O OCD intrusive thoughts, though it does come back in times of stress for me. I take 20mg Fluoxetine twice a day to help me. However at the moment I am as low as I have been ever with a problem that has been going on for many years now. I don't know if it is entirely OCD but it is certainly a large part of it I think. It is making me very depressed, costing me hours of my life thinking and ruminating and to my mind has no resolution in sight. It goes on and on and I thought it's time I ask for advice because it has been a very private problem that has stayed in my head in many years now. I'll start by giving a little background. I am a 31 years old male and have never had a relationship which I understand is very unusual. I go on dates and the online stuff and try and meet people but haven't found anyone yet. I am sociable, friendly decent person with no ties. I am constantly confused by the idea that at times I may find men attractive. I'm not sure If I really do, or if it's just in my head, I become so confused and tormented by it all that I really don't know what is going on anymore. I seem to spend lots of time on many days, looking at photos of people and celebrities on instagram, facebook and the internet to see if I find guys attractive, or how I feel about them shirtless. I will click on a friends facebook page and click to friends of theirs I do not know to look at the photos of all their friends too. I'll look at people when I am shopping and get anxious if I think I find them attractive. I know looking and checking is very much a reassurance method and a way of checking things. Other days I am convinced I am straight and someone who is just totally confused by everything. But I really do not know. And a time when most people have had several relationships, and some married with babies it's hard to get to this time of life and still not know yourself. I couldn't tell you if I am straight, gay, bi-sexual, a-sexual but it is making my life so tough at the moment! I have read a bit about HOCD (excuse the acronym) and much of it seems to ring true with the obsessing and anxiety I am experiencing around my personal life. I was just hoping by posting on here, someone might be able to give me some practical advice of how I can help myself and get to the bottom of this. I've some bad times with the OCD but I have never felt so low as I do with issue which gives me many dark thoughts and hours of ruminating and anxiety. I'd love to hear about some practical steps I can take to assist me going forward. Sorry for the long post and thanks again. I went to see my GP this week and he has sent a letter to the local mental health services which can hopefully offer me some assistance, but it could be a while before I see anyone I imagine.

Just revisited this thread again guys and just want to say thank you

Would definiely recommend running, maybe print a schedule off the internet and do it 3 or 4 times a week and challenge yourslef to run a 10k in 3 months time if you are new to it. You'll look better, feel better and most of all it will lift your mind. I get very down with my thoughts, depression, OCD and always feel better for it even though I have low times when I don't go for a few weeks. You have inspired me to go this evening after my dinner at the gym, and I will think about your post as I do my miles :-) Good Luck.

Hi everyone I don't tend to post on here much now as I was one of the lucky ones who received excellent CBT and help and for the most part overcome my Pure O OCD intrusive thoughts, though it does come back in times of stress for me. I take 20mg Fluoxetine twice a day to help me. However at the moment I am as low as I have been ever with a problem that has been going on for many years now. I don't know if it is entirely OCD but it is certainly a large part of it I think. It is making me very depressed, costing me hours of my life thinking and ruminating and to my mind has no resolution in sight. It goes on and on and I thought it's time I ask for advice because it has been a very private problem that has stayed in my head in many years now. I'll start by giving a little background. I am a 31 years old male and have never had a relationship which I understand is very unusual. I go on dates and the online stuff and try and meet people but haven't found anyone yet. I am sociable, friendly decent person with no ties. I am constantly confused by the idea that at times I may find men attractive. I'm not sure If I really do, or if it's just in my head, I become so confused and tormented by it all that I really don't know what is going on anymore. I seem to spend lots of time on many days, looking at photos of people and celebrities on instagram, facebook and the internet to see if I find guys attractive, or how I feel about them shirtless. I will click on a friends facebook page and click to friends of theirs I do not know to look at the photos of all their friends too. I'll look at people when I am shopping and get anxious if I think I find them attractive. I know looking and checking is very much a reassurance method and a way of checking things. Other days I am convinced I am straight and someone who is just totally confused by everything. But I really do not know. And a time when most people have had several relationships, and some married with babies it's hard to get to this time of life and still not know yourself. I have read a bit about HOCD (excuse the acronym) and much of it seems to ring true with the obsessing and anxiety I am experiencing around my personal life. I was just hoping by posting on here, someone might be able to give me some practical advice of how I can help myself and get to the bottom of this. I've some bad times with the OCD but I have never felt so low as I do with issue which gives me many dark thoughts and hours of ruminating and anxiety. I'd love to hear about some practical steps I can take to assist me going forward. Sorry for the long post and thanks again.

Thanks for your kind and thoughtful replies guys - appreciated :-D

Hi everyone I don't tend to post on here much now as I was one of the lucky ones who received excellent CBT and help and for the most part overcome my Pure O OCD intrusive thoughts, though it does come back in times of stress for me. I take 20mg Fluoxetine twice a day to help me. However at the moment I am as low as I have been ever with a problem that has been going on for many years now. I don't know if it is entirely OCD but it is certainly a large part of it I think. It is making me very depressed, costing me hours of my life thinking and ruminating and to my mind has no resolution in sight. It goes on and on and I thought it's time I ask for advice because it has been a very private problem that has stayed in my head in many years now. I'll start by giving a little background. I am a 31 years old male and have never had a relationship which I understand is very unusual. I go on dates and the online stuff and try and meet people but haven't found anyone yet. I am sociable, friendly decent person with no ties. I am constantly confused by the idea that at times I may find men attractive. I'm not sure If I really do, or if it's just in my head, I become so confused and tormented by it all that I really don't know what is going on anymore. I seem to spend lots of time on many days, looking at photos of people and celebrities on instagram, facebook and the internet to see if I find guys attractive, or how I feel about them shirtless. I will click on a friends facebook page and click to friends of theirs I do not know to look at the photos of all their friends too. I'll look at people when I am shopping and get anxious if I think I find them attractive. I know looking and checking is very much a reassurance method and a way of checking things. Other days I am convinced I am straight and someone who is just totally confused by everything. But I really do not know. And a time when most people have had several relationships, and some married with babies it's hard to get to this time of life and still not know yourself. I have read a bit about HOCD and much of it seems to ring true with the obsessing and anxiety I am experiencing around my personal life. I was just hoping by posting on here, someone might be able to give me some practical advice of how I can help myself and get to the bottom of this. I've some bad times with the OCD but I have never felt so low as I do with issue which gives me many dark thoughts and hours of ruminating and anxiety. Sorry for the long post, and perhaps somebody kind enough can offer some help going forward :-)