Things are going downhill

[Guest Hedgehog]

Dunno what to say I thought meds were helping with intrusive thoughts - and they have a bit with POCD however not with the HOCD. Its driving me insane and the intrusive thoughts are taking over everything. Everytime I see a woman I wonder if I looked a little too long and that I am checking her out.

Really want to curl up in a ball and cry but can't even do that cos of the meds.

[Kisu]

Hedgehog, pls explain the terminology. Do your meds keep you awake then? That's the reason I never started mine, after reading about the side effects.

[Guest Hedgehog]

Meds don't keep me awake but they do mean that I cannot cry.

I feel like I am crumbling into nothing. I am so scared that these thoughts will not ever go away.

[Hal]

Hi Hedgehog,

Sometimes the thoughts seem to intensify when we begin tackling them with treatment.

I know it's easy for me or anyone else to say this - but when you look at another woman and you start to doubt your response - label it as OCD and try not to engage any further with the 'what if's' that the OCD will throw at you.

Once you begin trying to interpret your response and what it means you've already become trapped in the loop.

I wonder if it might be an idea to go back to your GP about the meds - I can't remember, have you been taking them long?

Hal :original:

[Guest Hedgehog]

I kinda know I need to relabel the thoughts but doing that is so difficult and everything feels so overwhelming.

I have only been on the meds 6 weeks so want to give them a fair shot. I am now taking 150mg Sertraline.

Why does this have to be so hard. I can't face it.

[tigershark]

Hey Hedgehog! I know it is hard'ocd makes life very tough. I also suffer from p and hocd; recently the gay ocd has gone up and pocd has gone down. But overall I am relatively calm. Met a nice girl as well who is supportive. But I accept i have ocd and it is going to hit me from time to time. A big thing with me is accepting I have ocd, and allowing the thoughts to be thereand facing up to them;looking them staight in the eye; and facing that wave of anxiety. It is really tough, but think u have to look yourself in the mirror and say'I am gona do what it takes to manage my ocd.' I also take prozac, which helps me; but also makes sex a bit more 'difficult', but have to balance pros with cons!

[Hal]

It is hard Hedgehog, but you're doing all the rights things to get well again, that's what counts.

Short-term it's no fun facing the problem, but long-term you'll live your life relatively free from OCD.

Unfortunately the only alternative is living with a problem that will escalate over the years and look back with regret that you didn't tackle it earlier.

I'm not just saying this to make you feel better - you will turn a corner and move on from this. When I was at my worst I couldn't see any hope or have any idea how things would change for the better, but bit by bit I began to get glimpses of a life without OCD.

At the moment you're at the hardest stage, you're making an effort but not getting anything back for all your hard work - but I guarantee it will pay off.

[Guest Hedgehog]

Hey Hedgehog! I know it is hard'ocd makes life very tough. I also suffer from p and hocd; recently the gay ocd has gone up and pocd has gone down. But overall I am relatively calm. Met a nice girl as well who is supportive. But I accept i have ocd and it is going to hit me from time to time. A big thing with me is accepting I have ocd, and allowing the thoughts to be thereand facing up to them;looking them staight in the eye; and facing that wave of anxiety. It is really tough, but think u have to look yourself in the mirror and say'I am gona do what it takes to manage my ocd.' I also take prozac, which helps me; but also makes sex a bit more 'difficult', but have to balance pros with cons!

Do you find that your obsessions come and go in terms of intensity then? Is it med related?

I even got as far as speaking to a freind about being gay cos I feel so bloody convinced. I hate it

[tigershark]

Yep! sometimes my ocd hits me hard, particularly if i am tired, stressed, sad whatever. If i am happy and relaxed I can face up better. The meds do take a while to settle. But I would advise to stay with them for a few months minimum. My meds defo help me. Talking to friends is great, but do not seek reassurance;this will feed your ocd.

oh yea i exercise like a nut to ease my anxiety and ocd;big advantage is i am trim and fit!

[Guest Hedgehog]

How will I ever know if I am gay or have OCD. It feels like an unobtainable outcome.

[Guest legend]

How will I ever know if I am gay or have OCD. It feels like an unobtainable outcome.

Looking for certainty and answers to an irrational thought, will never ever work, hedge, all it does is keep

you trapped in the loop of the ocd.

Recognise that it is ocd at play, and try to use distraction, and not to get involved with the ocd, very difficult.

and once you refuse to engage with it, the thoughts will intensify, thats how ocd works, but what your doing

is allowing the thoughts to come in, in a way embracing them, and your saying to the ocd, so what, is that

the best you can do..............

also, you could write down, on a scale of 1-100, on the probability of you being gay, and thats the logic side,

the next step, is to acknowledge why you have these thoughts and doubts, is because you have ocd,

and the thoughts are part of the illness,

legend

[tigershark]

Think u have to realise that u will never definitively answer that question. We are all human and try and live with ambiguity and lack of certainty;the ocd wants u to doubt, question, sweat, ruminate;ie drive u mental, but accept that u will never find the true answer, but that is okay! Accept u have ocd