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TotallyVirgo

Frustrated with no words

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It literally drives me crazy when I plan out my day exactly how i think it would work best for me to be able to get everything on my list done. And my boyfriend decides that it doesn't work for him because i'm being "too picky" about my schedule. Like it isn't effecting him at all, i'm doing my own tasks the way I need to so I don't get extra stressed out. He hates when I try to ask him what his schedule is so I can plan my day around it. He likes to be spontaneous. I am a "need to know it all," according to him. And i just got a new fidget toy in the mail for when I get too anxious and he keeps telling i'm making too big of a deal out of "all of this." Does anyone have any advice for me to explain to him whats going on in my head. He knows i'm OCD but he doesn't think it's an actual thing and that i'm just making a big deal out of it. He doesn't take me seriously.

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Hi Virgo and welcome to the forum.

Yes, it sounds like your boyfriend could be a little more compassionate. It is very difficult for non-sufferers to understand what it is like to have OCD. On the other hand, why are you so rigid with your schedule and your list of things to do? Does everything have to be planned out? I'm guessing you get anxious if you don't have everything planned out. That could very well be a compulsion and something you need to work on in the future.

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Yes I have a problem with extreme anxiety when I don't have structured day. And I always have to know what time it is, if i don't have access to a clock I end up stressed out and emotional in other aspects. I'm currently in therapy but my therapist hasn't felt comfortable starting me in and CBT or anything. But maybe i can begin to work on my compulsions soon.

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This is definitely something your therapist needs to address. It's no good for you to be so rigid. You're going to need to do some tough exposures to get past this, such as not writing out a list of things to do for the day and not looking at a clock.

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Yes i agree, life would be easier without these things controlling my days. The issue is that she isn't super experienced with OCD and my insurance wont let me switch to someone who is. Which i am currently working really hard to get the right to. 

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Ah, yeah. You really need Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.  It's the therapy of choice for OCD. Have you thought about getting a self help book?

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Just to add some friendly words- I have very similar OCD issues, I have to plan literally everything. I really hope you can make some progress with this.

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I have thought about getting a self help book but i'm afraid that I will get the wrong one? (I don't know if that's even possible but its a fear of mine) Do you have any you would recommend? 

Ah! its nice to hear from someone that has similar issues! Thanks! :yes:

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