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kaheath80

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  1. kaheath80

    Has anyone had EMDR?

    I’m about to start it this week for my wasp phobia!
  2. Thanks both. Yes I certainly appreciate that it’s a charity, but it’s also important to remember we are volunteers giving our time for free. I have BPD and it may well be that I am taking it more personally than I should- that’s common for me. Its just that even though it took me hours and I did it on holiday, I was happy to help for free because I like proofreading. I’m hoping possibly in the future to set myself up as a freelance proofreader and it would have been good for me to be able to say I did regular proofreading and, I thought, good for the charity to have someone happy to do it longer-term rather than having to look for new people each time. I also didn’t get a reply last time volunteers were asked for and I made a comment that I had been told I could do it next time. Finally, I suggested an article idea and was told yes please so I wrote the article and sent it in and never had a reply. This was about a year ago. So I guess I just felt a bit hard-done by. Anyway I now have a regular proofreading voluntary role for my local ice hockey team instead and the article has been published elsewhere. I just feel it’s a shame because I think it could have worked well for both of us, but maybe the charity had other ideas. Either way, I do obviously think that starting this thread and the invitation for the drink is a nice one. I just feel personally that my work wasn’t really appreciated and so I’ve gone elsewhere instead now.
  3. I did proofreading for you last year and was promised I would be asked again but never heard anything after that. Happy to be a volunteer but would have been nice if the promise had been kept. It was a long job proofreading the magazine and I was totally happy to do it for free as I like proofreading and wanted to help the charity, but felt a bit unappreciated after that.
  4. Thanks both. I agree with your points and thanks very much for the good feedback!
  5. It’s one of those ironic things that happen often with mental illness. By obsessing over the worry that you might have OCD forever, you make it more likely to happen. Ignoring things like this make it more likely you will recover and not be stuck like the thing that you read suggests.
  6. Thank you Aha, good point! I guess with physical illnesses though it’s sometimes a lot easier- just take pills, no effort required. I get that that doesn’t cover all physical illnesses, though.
  7. Hi, Hopefully I'm allowed to post an article I submitted for publication, as it was rejected. I thought it might be helpful for some users. Here we go: Recently, I saw a quote shared by a personality disorders website on Facebook. The quote was ‘Mental illness is not a choice, but recovery is’. I thought it was a good quote, but when I read the comments on Facebook, most people seemed quite angry about it. Some of them made reference to physical illnesses and asked whether someone with cancer or a broken leg would be told that recovery is a choice. I do see their point. However, personally I can identify with the quote. Much as I’m always saying that mental illnesses should be treated similarly to physical illnesses, there is in fact a difference. I think that people with mental illnesses should be treated kindly, people should realise that we didn’t choose to have these illnesses and that we deserve sympathy as much as someone with epilepsy or cancer does. But for many people with mental illnesses, recovery does partly have to be a choice. Sometimes, we can take medications which help our symptoms. For some, medication is all that is needed. But for others, a conscious decision does need to be taken in order to start the recovery process, just as the quote says. Think about someone with OCD. I use an OCD forum, where people will post over and over again about the same thing, looking for reassurance or for someone to give them the magic answer. Of course that doesn’t exist, the person with OCD will never be satisfied, because that is the nature of OCD. The particular forum I use has some very helpful members who give what probably sounds like quite blunt advice. For example, ‘just ignore what your brain is telling you, and don’t try and remember whether you did something terrible.’ Of course for the OCD sufferer it is never that easy, but my point is that at some point the person with OCD needs to make a choice to recover. They need to trust that what they are doing are OCD compulsions and that they will never get better if they keep doing them. They need to go against what their brain is telling them, and fight for recovery. Someone might be terrified that if they stop checking the taps every 5 minutes for hours, their house will flood and everything will be ruined. But they need to make the choice to go against that, to resist the checking. Otherwise they will never recover. It is partly a choice. If they don’t make that choice, nothing will change and they will not recover. Of course there will be people with different severities of OCD, and the most severe will find it harder to recover, but they all need to take that leap of faith. Maybe at first the choice is just to seek therapy, but it’s still a choice. Using my own situation as an example- for over a year I timed every bit of walking I did every day, and if it was less than 5 hours 20 minutes a week, I was convinced I would get fat and no one would like me. It took a conscious choice on my behalf to overcome this. It wasn’t easy, and I’m not fully recovered yet, but I don’t time my walking anymore. I did have therapy, but I couldn’t have got as far as I did in my recovery without making a choice to fight what my brain was telling me. I also had to make a choice to start the recovery process for my BPD. A strong part of my BPD is the fear to get better because I worry that if I’m not ill, no one will have any reason to be friends with me anymore and I’ll lose everyone. A big part of me wants to stay ill because of this. It would be easy for me to give in to those thoughts and make a choice not to recover. But I know that if I don’t recover, I’ll keep repeating the same patterns over and over again. I’ll keep becoming too attached to people and then bombarding them with my problems in the hope it will keep them connected to me, and they’ll keep leaving, and I will keep feeling the pain of abandonment. I’ll keep hating myself and having suicidal thoughts when I receive any criticism. So I had to make a choice to recover. I had to decide to have therapy, and I had to decide to refer myself to the Complex Needs Service, which is an intensive group therapy programme that is designed for people with personality disorders. There are many reasons that people might be scared to make that choice, to take that step towards recovery. And the recovery process is difficult. There may well be a lot of self-examination required. You may have to deal with painful memories that you would rather keep buried. But without recovery, you may stay forever stuck. Think of all the things you might be able to do after recovery that you can’t do now. To get there, you need to make the choice to start recovery. That first step might be as small as admitting that you have a problem, talking to a friend, visiting a doctor to see which medications might help you, or making an appointment with a therapist. But all of these require a choice. As the quote says, ‘Mental illness is not a choice, but recovery is’.
  8. kaheath80

    I've made a terrible mistake

    We are always encouraged to talk more about mental health. For me personally it’s a problem because as part of my BPD I do it for attention because I think no one will give me any sympathy unless they know I have mental illnesses. So I’m trying to work on it. But generally, being open is a good thing.
  9. kaheath80

    I've made a terrible mistake

    I tell anyone who listens about my OCD and BPD. I went for a team lunch at work Friday and ended up telling the woman next to me all about my OCD. I feel the same as you as sometimes I think ‘why on earth did I do that!’ But my point is, you’re not the only one who’s done this!
  10. I’m out today but can post it tomorrow if it’s allowed. Maybe in the meantime one of the moderators could let me know if it’s possible? It’s not just about OCD, but a large part of it is, and I reference this forum in it (but not by name).
  11. You would have loved my article. Shame it wasn’t accepted for publication for its on this topic so I could always copy and paste it here if that’s helpful for anyone?
  12. I recently submitted an article which was unfortunately rejected. But the topic of the article was about a quote I read saying ‘mental illness is not a choice, but recovery is’. A lot of people on Facebook disagreed with the quote. But it’s true. At some point you have to take that step and put in the hard work to start the recovery process.
  13. I was certainly not meaning to be nasty so I’m sorry if I came across that way. I’m thinking of you really- it’s not helpful for OCD to keep posting the same things over and over again and getting reassurance. I think the fact this topic has been going on for several months shows that something needs to change. I’m definitely sympathetic- I used to do the same as you and post over and over again, in my case worrying I didn’t have OCD and wanting people to reassure me that I did. In the end I was refused reassurance and that’s what is necessary in order to start to recover from OCD. Posts over and over again on the same topic are not helpful for your OCD and we all want each other to recover.
  14. I don’t think this series of posts should be allowed to continue. We’re on 17 pages now and some other people get their strings locked after a few posts.
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