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OCD And Self-confidence


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My early life prior to my marriage was full of public performances in choirs and light operetta. 

My work involved presenting, frequently to major, including some global, companies, hosting client entertainment, seminars and occasionally giving speeches at business events. 

So as you might imagine, my own personal self-confidence was and remains high. 

But even I would suffer challenges to that when in one of my episodes of OCD. When we are struggling with that, any self-confidence we may have had is severely challenged - we slump into belief of the horrible things being suggested; we struggle with self-doubt (OCD has been called the "doubting disease" though it is a mental illness, not a disease) and this can force us into being introvert, wrapped up in a world of restrictions and rules. 

But we don't have to accept this. 

We can apply for cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), which will educate us in why we think and feel that way because of OCD. 

We can meanwhile buy one of the excellent books /workbooks on CBT for OCD, which will pave the way towards enlightenment. 

And we can resist the feelings of worthlessness and reduced self-confidence by attributing those feelings to OCD and not representative of the real us. 

And we can change our behavioural response. We don't have to shy away from people contact - we can get out there, meet people- maybe a significant other - the normal interactive human behaviours. 

We aren't all going to find that level of confidence that my own lifetime experiences have delivered to me - but we don't have to do that. 

We simply need to not allow this mental illness to limit our opportunities, stop us seeking love and fulfillment. 

And that, for me, is achievable :)

 

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I’ve always suffered with a lack of self confidence. I can remember as a young boy of about 10, some 40 years ago, loving playing football, but hoping no one would pass to me in case I made a fool of myself, and people would laugh at me. This unfortunately, has stayed with me through the majority of my life. Always crumbling under pressure or messing up at the wrong time.

after my latest course of CBT, I am more determined than ever to try to put this Achilles heel of mine behind me. I’m convinced that my OCD and lack of confidence, work hand in hand to destroy whatever happiness I have, so it’s not going to be an easy battle, but I am going to give it my best shot.

any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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OCD is a liar, and seeks to marginalise us behind restrictive rules. 

To overcome it we have to get out and do the things it wants to restrict - essentially a form of exposure and response prevention. 

We will have a tendency to run for the hills when in a people environment, or let the OCD illness carry out mind-reading, negatively interpreting what other people might be thinking and planting it in our brain, but we need to work towards standing our ground, and face it out in structured sessions of exposure: of course giving in at first will be likely - so we gradually extend the time of sitting with the thoughts and feelings before giving in until gradually, slowly but surely, the intrusions lose power and ease away. 

It's a marathon, not a sprint and it will take time to overcome it. 

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