Started ERP and wanted to chat about it!!

[Spud2018]

Hey guys, I'm hoping your all doing well.

 Recently I started ERP I'm on my third session and this weeks task is to record an intrusive thought and listen to it over and over. I just wanted to know if anyone has done similar and also help me with a problem I have encountered.

So my OCD revolves around relationships and sexual orientation, they very much go hand in hand, however, I don't really get intrusive thoughts like some people to describe " a flash of lightning type thought" Mine is more like I'll go to message my SO or just see an attractive female and I start getting a feeling of dread and then I start to think about it. The what-ifs come flooding in and I start to scenario build (I know it's a compulsion) and generally think the worst to see how I feel. Basically, I engage in an inner dialogue of letting the scary thoughts come in and then rationalize.  In a way, it's almost like I create these thoughts unconsciously if that makes sense. 

So my question is; do you think it will be okay to just record me saying a sentence which englobes the overarching theme such as "I don't love (name) anymore, and that's because I'm gay" would work? I have done it today and I must say it was scary, it makes it very much seem real and makes me feel like that part of me which always fights with it is the denial and that this is all actually true. The therapist said to record the thought as close to the intrusive thought as possible... But as I said my type of thoughts don't come as much like a sentence.

Anyway, sorry for the long post,  just was wanting some opinions, and if anyone wants to share your ERP experiences that would be great!!

[Gemma7]

I think this sentence is a good place to start. I imagine the therapist wants you to do this exercise to get used to the feelings that this thought generates and to show you it's meaningless and can be ignored like all other thoughts. You say it brings up doubts and anxiety so you are definitely going in the right direction and think you've done well

I don't particularly get thoughts in sentences either, just feelings, maybe a word, but i sort of know what it is I'm worried about and base therapy on that, which i think is what you've done. 

Good luck with it all

[Spud2018]

@Gemma7 Thank you very much!! Is OCD horrible isn't it? I was just listening to a podcast about "ROCD" and had a thought like "All of this is true thought" and it's so hard to identify whether it's intrusive!! sends me down a spiral of me saying it over and over to see whether I think it's true or not/denial etc etc... Bloody nightmare!!