No 'what if's

[Headwreck]

Thank you Hedvig. I really don't know why it's only started to bother me two years later, I guess I was preoccupied with the idea that I had been cheated on. But I've seen others (and yourself) say that this has happened to them too in an OCD episode. The only thing that bothered me about the night at the time and I kept to myself before confessing a year later was the fact that I put my feet under this guy's legs, but I told my partner in the end about that. Anything else, I can't remember because I was drunk.

Sorry this just turned into a ramble again. I feel slightly better in the sense that I think it was only a kiss now which is a massive downgrade from sexual contact. Not sure why this has happened and what has changed, is that a good sign?

 

[hedvig]

I don’t know, maybe you have surrendered to that OCD thought, that you think ”it was just a kiss” and therefore it doesn’t bring as much anxiety anymore. But really I think the goal should be to continue labeling all thoughts about the evening and cheating and OCD in general as just OCD thoughts and tell yourself you can live with the uncertainty. You are allowed to do that. You deserve to get your life back and you really deserve to be happy.

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

1 hour ago, Headwreck said:

Thank you Hedvig. I really don't know why it's only started to bother me two years later, I guess I was preoccupied with the idea that I had been cheated on. But I've seen others (and yourself) say that this has happened to them too in an OCD episode. The only thing that bothered me about the night at the time and I kept to myself before confessing a year later was the fact that I put my feet under this guy's legs, but I told my partner in the end about that. Anything else, I can't remember because I was drunk.

Sorry this just turned into a ramble again. I feel slightly better in the sense that I think it was only a kiss now which is a massive downgrade from sexual contact. Not sure why this has happened and what has changed, is that a good sign?

 

OCD will go up and down, that is just how it works. I am afraid you are on the wrong way if you think that solving this thougt and then start the journey is the way to go. The thought with all the anxiety needs to be there, and you need to do different and you need to come from a position of power. 

Edited July 14, 2018 by OCDhavenobrain