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humbleno1

Please help, please.

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So I have herpes (unfortunately) and I havea  really mild form that always seems to be out, anyway its on my private area, and ok so I was laid in bed, and I moved my hand down as was uncomfortable in crotch area, basically touched my genitals, anyway I pretty much forgot I did this, then I eat this bag of chocolate, and put it back on bed, and like i kind of thought maybe i touched my self couldnt remember with right hand and not left, so used left, anyway then i came to conclusion i used both hands (which at this point i think i did im like 70 percent sure i did), im usually always washing my hands, but then sometime i feel like im going over board with hand washing anyway, i know that the virus doesnt live long outside of the skin but then someone came and just started feeding them to someone young in like 7-8 seconds later, and they were fresh out the bath,  and now im worried that they touched her hand and preson was young so they may have gone to toilet straight after, or accidentally brushed themselves below or something and caught it and i dunno, now im worried about this. My sis says she watched the person adn the young persons hands never went anywhere near there privates but now im worried?

On another note, im really tired of this disorder it is so good at putting me in these horrible situations, and its taking all my enjoyment out of life. it makes me feel guilty for everything i do. and i feel like i should hve went and just washed my hands, but then my brain sometimes make me feel like thats silly like im giving in to the ocd, i wanted to get a wet wipe and wipe the persons hands but i didnt, but its probably not, so i dont even know.

 

sigh

 

 

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Just a long rumination there. Hope no one here rushes in, and hurts you more with reassurance. You know the drill, implement it. 

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28 minutes ago, paradoxer said:

Just a long rumination there. Hope no one here rushes in, and hurts you more with reassurance. You know the drill, implement it. 

thanks for the response, sucks to be me haha. tryna hold down a job atm, and finding it difficult with this going on, sigh. I know I know what to do, lately its been very hard though, lots of spikes surrounding my daughter, as always ocd picks on the things we love most, and I havent been able to enjoy being a dad, its lead to a lot of depression also, sometimes just need some moral support to some degree I guess, I dont know.

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2 hours ago, paradoxer said:

You've got support here, but no reassurance. :;

true had abit of a thought today and im really trying to push myself to be accepting of the uncertainty of any situation or any thought that my brain brings to me, obviously ocd is very good at making us feel like oh this time is unique or, because its an "action" so to speak that could have been prevented like by washing hands, its my fault and I have to treat this is as a legitimate threat, I think a big part of my ocd is responsibility the fear of being responsible for something bad, anyway, yes I think and I know a willingness to have the thoughts and the uncomfortability of the uncertainty is the only way forward regardless, other wise we are really just confined to this brain and when it says jump we say how high, im having this re-established right now this philosophy, today I rode some spikes out big time.

 

I had a thought and unfortunately, I came to the conclusion that it could be likened to a broken fan on your laptop (i have one right now) but basically we have to ignore the nosie, and focus on the other things, movies, music, would it be right to conclude we have been given faulty wiring and, the acknowledge of this significance of this wiring just adds to our suffering. i kno this is true, albeit a hard reality to accept, because our brain naturally wants that homeostasis, i kno and have read the treatment of ocd feels counterintuitive but walking that walk and actually ignoring all your "survival" instincts how do we do it?

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Without being gratuitously negative, I think it's fair to say, OCD is a bloody tough disorder. Without an insight into how it works, it's impossible to beat, with an insight into how it works, it's still difficult to beat. Yes, the way forward is to act counterintuitively, and often that's no mean feat. Time and time again it'll get you. You just have to build on those victories.  

PS, I agree that faulty wiring's at work. I don't think that insight is in any way problematical - though from a therapeutic point of view, it doesn't mean much at all. 

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