humbleno1

what i was trying to say there is ocd, makes u lean to it being real

nvm.

thats the thing i dont know if i have or havent my memories are bad, and id ont know whats rael and isnt all points to not real

im talking about the other thing my life being turned upside down lol, but its ok i guess its the same principle

yeh i get that, but its the stigma around it, its not to do with the generalisation of something bad happening, for instance, im not living in fear of dying or, i dont know, anything else to some degree, i dont know, just feels alot more of a real possibility i dont think im being THAT, like unrealistic with my worry here, but what can i really do about it nothing? but it creates depression and anxiety on a day to day basis, i dont see much solution for that, beside go back in time.

i think that the problem is i never realised the lasting effect something like that has because of peoples ignorance unfortunately and, unfortunately htats the way it is, and it relaly kind of sucks, and if ida known would have never have went there with it. sigh, so now i feel like any day my world can be turned inside and out etc. name stained everything.

i think this is correct correlation with what you said, about before with the past and what happened and what i am doing now, and i think the anxiety is so prevelant because it is maybe a real possibility of that coming true, the whole false confession thing previous adn the stigma attached to it unfortunately anything that alters what i can and cant do in life is very distressing, and it seems to be something i cannot accept.

im just wondering if anyone else has ever experienced anything like this?

Ok so I guess I didnt articulate it very well. Its not an eye problem per say, you know stress headaches, that are like, a result from anxiety well anyway, Its almost like I can feel teh anxiety in my head, behind my eye sometimes it feels as if my actual, eye is bruised but its not, and it goes down into my nose, its liek a stress headache or something i dont know, so its like tension behind my eye, sometimes when blink fast to try and combat the anxiety its like a feeling to put it just right my eye very rarely spasms its very strange it dissipates when I pull the eyelid, but then comes back straight away, its hard to explain, but its definitely from anxiety of some sort, because the pain is associated with a worry of an old spike to do with false memroies, and when i forget about the spike the stress goes and the eye pain goes. its very strange.

I have a weird pain above my eye, that is almost like something i spike over, i pick at my eye lid its like a compulsion but it never goes away EVER, im so confused by this why wont it go awya.

u have to break the loop! right? thats what it is and it will get u in the loop man! however it can god this disorder is tricky! what hope have we got, we have to manage ourselves, damn.

true had abit of a thought today and im really trying to push myself to be accepting of the uncertainty of any situation or any thought that my brain brings to me, obviously ocd is very good at making us feel like oh this time is unique or, because its an "action" so to speak that could have been prevented like by washing hands, its my fault and I have to treat this is as a legitimate threat, I think a big part of my ocd is responsibility the fear of being responsible for something bad, anyway, yes I think and I know a willingness to have the thoughts and the uncomfortability of the uncertainty is the only way forward regardless, other wise we are really just confined to this brain and when it says jump we say how high, im having this re-established right now this philosophy, today I rode some spikes out big time. I had a thought and unfortunately, I came to the conclusion that it could be likened to a broken fan on your laptop (i have one right now) but basically we have to ignore the nosie, and focus on the other things, movies, music, would it be right to conclude we have been given faulty wiring and, the acknowledge of this significance of this wiring just adds to our suffering. i kno this is true, albeit a hard reality to accept, because our brain naturally wants that homeostasis, i kno and have read the treatment of ocd feels counterintuitive but walking that walk and actually ignoring all your "survival" instincts how do we do it?

thanks for the response, sucks to be me haha. tryna hold down a job atm, and finding it difficult with this going on, sigh. I know I know what to do, lately its been very hard though, lots of spikes surrounding my daughter, as always ocd picks on the things we love most, and I havent been able to enjoy being a dad, its lead to a lot of depression also, sometimes just need some moral support to some degree I guess, I dont know.

So I have herpes (unfortunately) and I havea really mild form that always seems to be out, anyway its on my private area, and ok so I was laid in bed, and I moved my hand down as was uncomfortable in crotch area, basically touched my genitals, anyway I pretty much forgot I did this, then I eat this bag of chocolate, and put it back on bed, and like i kind of thought maybe i touched my self couldnt remember with right hand and not left, so used left, anyway then i came to conclusion i used both hands (which at this point i think i did im like 70 percent sure i did), im usually always washing my hands, but then sometime i feel like im going over board with hand washing anyway, i know that the virus doesnt live long outside of the skin but then someone came and just started feeding them to someone young in like 7-8 seconds later, and they were fresh out the bath, and now im worried that they touched her hand and preson was young so they may have gone to toilet straight after, or accidentally brushed themselves below or something and caught it and i dunno, now im worried about this. My sis says she watched the person adn the young persons hands never went anywhere near there privates but now im worried? On another note, im really tired of this disorder it is so good at putting me in these horrible situations, and its taking all my enjoyment out of life. it makes me feel guilty for everything i do. and i feel like i should hve went and just washed my hands, but then my brain sometimes make me feel like thats silly like im giving in to the ocd, i wanted to get a wet wipe and wipe the persons hands but i didnt, but its probably not, so i dont even know. sigh

so atm, I get trapped in loops of ruminating to address a spike, spiking as i ruminate forgetting what i spiked about, and then putting it right, then because i ruminated putting it right hte cycle continues. how do i work on this thanks.