humbleno1

I dont even know why Im positing, but oh well. just thought someone ought to know.

It depends when you say understand, I know some therapists that, when someone is going through HOCD, or POCD, would maybe draw the conclusion the person is having some sort of sexual identity crisis. I have had this before. The NHS from my experience is clueless in OCD, I was assigned to a psychosis team, and had a "nurse" playing freud in my home. If your talking about understanding your fear, that oh you fear being ostracized or you fear responsibility, thats great, that will help. But any more time dwelling on that, is I think an indulgence of a therapist, thinking hes in some kind of hollywood movie, while we sat on his proverbial couch.

trying to figure out if something is ocd - is just the same as going back and checking the door, when you get a spike. The problem is trying to be sure it is ocd, or it feels like ocd. Wether you did or didnt do it is relevant, you need to "take the risk". That its ocd. Living with uncertainty and taking the risk, is essentially the antidote to ocd. I would say as a rule of thumb if there is any doubt, put it in the realm of ocd. and let me tell you, you do doubt it, because if you wouldnt be questioning this doesnt feel like ocd, you would just know. But me saying that isnt going to convince you. OCD cant be reasoned with, you need to understand that it can convince you of things, it really can, if you wanted something to happen genuinely you would not be conflicted.

i think this video could help you, its not about it being irrational or rational, its about accepting uncertainty. trying to determine if something is rational or irrational, is another way of compulsing knowing you are safe or arent safe, but the truth is, there is a risk in every thing we do, I dont know 100% that im not living in some sort of, simulation.

Hi steve it is really good you are wanting to get better, I'd honestly say that while a GP can help, its really important to get someone well versed in OCD which can take some time, the greatest thing you can do is your own research, ive had therapy myself, granted not for long enough, but once you know the ins and outs and mechanisms of the disorder, you can work on it, on your own also. and there are insights, out there, that are so good, id recommend, the ocd stories on youtube, mark freeman, ocdonline - phillipsons articles, and fred penzels articles to name a few.

it doesnt feel like "OCD" because your amygdala is misfiring, which means a genuine warning signal of immediate danger is going off in your head, if it wasnt these thoughts would be the exact same as wondering what you're going to have for dinner.

if you truly did give up and resign yourself to accepting, you would actually get better, its wanting to know that is the problem, uncertainty exists no getting away from it, If we realize that we can stop looking for this perfect certainty and live accordingly.

I guess im kind of a different opinion in this, while understanding why you are doing compulsions can be meaningful. If the thoughts are truly meaningless, which I think they are, and simply a fight or flight response, then surely any investment in there reason or validity, is feeding the disorder? I mean I think that in the UK there is still a strong notion to, "figure things out", almost a freudrian practice. The experience I had and im by no means an expert and I could be wrong here, is that ocd is simply behavioural, meaning if you change your behaviour you will no longer have it. I accept there are many ways to approach the disorder, and you have to find out what best works for yourself. I think above cutting out compulsions, true acceptance and mindfulness would probably overcome the disorder alot quicker. This article by fred penzel which i disagree with that ocd is chronic as I do think it can be fully overcome, I really like the sentiment that, with true acceptance it is 80-90 percent of the work, it reminds me of the film "a beautiful mind", only at the point when John Nash accepted his mind was impaired could he overcome. http://www.wsps.info/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=53:acceptance-and-ocd&catid=0

So the simplicity of it is if you stop compulsions you have beaten the disorder? yes?

im asking because i could pay for therapy myself at the end of the month but its going to be tight, now ive had therapy before and to be honest it did not help much, with an expert. now i ask the question is it worth the money are they going to tell me anything different to the advice ive received here. i know also im looking for reassurance when i go to this therapist.

yeh its not himself but therapists under him, but still they are learning from the best

I dont know if you have the finances, but id inquire with ocdonline (dr phillipson office) they offer therapy for 80 dollas a session which translates to about 60 pounds a session over skype. Ive had them previous for more, and hes one of the leading experts on OCD, so you are going to get some good treatment.

Sorry, I didnt mean you dont understand ocd. What I meant was it was hard, the pressure did go through head, its not that I imagined that, or exaggerated it. This is what im struggling with, the guilt. The everything. The utter despair that, something so precious and beautiful to me, has now been in my eyes affected, that they have become the source of my pain, its tormenting. Its so damaging to my psyche that I cant even process it properly. The terror ontop of normal anxiety over someone. I cant explain it.

you dont understand tho i felt the pressure going through the head it was firm what if this done damage? she didnt cry but still, - im going to go to therapy end of month i think. i cant cope i raelly cant i appreciate u trying to help... but i dont know whats happening to me .... im falling apart.

i think thats true to some degree but not fully because i do genuinely feel bad and worried beyond the ocd, i know i may have done something i shouldnt a litte