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humbleno1

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  1. This is really tough. Cant really tell the difference feel like I did something. What a horrible position to be put in.
  2. I do have a little but sometimes it can be really lacking and they are pretty hurrendous. im not having therapy, its very hard to get therapy good therapy anyway.
  3. False memories are playing tricks on me I have very little insight because of neurological problems and poor cognition and recall. This is very difficult.
  4. At 9 years old I used to run and tell my mother everything, as a compulsion and id say u get u get me, and it was only til she said yes, that i could move on. They put it down to "puberty". But I told them I have a voice/thoughts in my head that dont feel like they come from. My dad used to laugh and say how is your friend in your head today, this was at 9/10. When I look back now, I realise from phobias, to anxiety, to whatever else, ive been struggling quite badly with mental health issues since 9 years old. And I know my parents didnt give a ****, too concerned with themselves, particularly my dad.
  5. While I appreciate the responses. I was crying out for help as a teenager. I openly discussed what was going on with me, in terms of at one point even had a psychotic break, my dad was a narcissist, and basically threatened me with psychological help like it was something to fear. My dad told me I was scaring my mother and I had to sit and get over it, and tried to make me sit in a hallway until i was "over it". When my mother intervened, he threw a plate at our heads. And tried to leave and had my mother begging him to come back. Id tell them I got bad thoughts and my mothers response was "they arent sexual are they?" I had no choice but to act like I never had a problem all the while being emotionally abused from my father with a mother in la la land. I had no chance. And terrible things happened at this time. I dont understand why they never even took me to a doctors. WHAT WAS GOING THROUGH THERE HEAD. I blame myself I wish Id have took my ******* self, but I was so afraid of judgement. WTF... I feel so a grieved by this, at 15-17 im supposed to tell my parents, hey you know this stuff im doing everyday that i think is normal, ive kinda realised its not normal? You know its hard to watch people in my bigger family with problems, get SOOOO much support at this age 15-17. Parents heavily invested in their future. What im saying is when you are having a mental health crisis at this time, when it already damages everything about you, this time in your life is so important ..."coming of age" right. I laugh about it I really do. How could people be so ignorant of it when it was staring them in the face.....
  6. The mental health system is a joke. Parents are a joke. I had ocd since 9. OCD is a VERY serious issue. And I hate to spike people but im not convinced an OCD'er will NEVER act on their thoughts. Sorry if it spikes u but thats true. So heres my question if u have pedophile ocd, how are u supposed to get help and openly talk about ur thoughts? especially ten years ago. If ur an adolescent with pedophile ocd. Is it not ur parents job to help u with that? like when u open upto them and say like I get bad thoughts? arent they supposed to inquire further, when ur purposefully avoiding kids arent they supposed to pick up on that? How does a parent then know to do that or understand this disorder. If u have this illness I think u are screwed. Especially with other things at play. I had it since I was 9, and it was pretty obvious, my parents just ignored it. At 17 my life was over, bad decisions. STEMMED FROM OCD. Ive been talking to the crisis team, they are a joke, HONESTLY THE STANDARD OF CARE IS **** u cant even get seen physically now, I have lots of neurological issues going on. OH WELL. ANOTHER STATISTIC. Good luck guys, dont play with ur kids lives get them help when they need it dont ignore them, running up and down the stairs 12 times a day, and being distressed telling u they are worried they are going to do something bad, seeing things and not once get a doctor. I was ****** from the get go, and guess what now im the bad guy.... hurray for me What a life eh.
  7. So I now worry when I spike and my brain instantly tries to reassure me that. By that reassurance I now have done the spike its like a spike ontop of the spike. any suggestions?
  8. ur probably right, because something really has to change here.
  9. sometimes but not so much at this point, but i did miss a train today as I had the time in my head wrong, i was utterly convinced it was this time.
  10. my case is definitely complex, and I definitely need more help than I can afford right now.
  11. Hi, yes my memory issue distresses me because my ocd plays on it. I dont have much faith in doctors etc, Ive been down that road and never got much help, my ocd resolves around thinking I have done something it always has for over ten years, I have to reality monitor and I seem to have a real hard time seperating fact from fiction when it comes to "false memories". The problem I now have, is a memory problem, that almost makes that impossible.
  12. I took a cholesterol drug called statins years ago, im only 30, if u read on these drugs many people end up with terrible side effects, some long term. Im having extreme brain fog, and memory problems. My ocd is playing on it too, but I literally forget things ive just done, but a step worse than that, is I feel like Im losing some autonomy at times. This is very scary and I dont know what to do. People on this forum seem to think the memory problem is part of my ocd, I can assure you its not. I suffer with dysautonomia, and many other things as a result of this statin, look it up btw you will find many stories like this. No doc will take this seriously, not really sure what to do at this point because this is beyond ocd, too.
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