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  1. Like just completely bombarding me, that i somehow did something subconsciously it can be typing something because i had the thought or searching something its torture, any help/advice?
  2. yeh i just really struggling with this, like that im thinking about something spiking that im gonna do it, any input?
  3. Im stuck with a problem of never gaining certainty in terms of - Something in me says something happened, that I dont know at the time is true, or not, its bad very bad, a very bad act, sometimes I think the memory is true, sometimes I dont, sometimes I dont know if its me convincing myself it isnt - there is another person involved, who was very young, who says this never happened, but what if, this person has a traumatic amnesia? the "memory" would be traumatizing. This is an old age debate, Im afraid of knowing the truth and I dont know how to know it either.
  4. what i was trying to say there is ocd, makes u lean to it being real
  5. thats the thing i dont know if i have or havent my memories are bad, and id ont know whats rael and isnt all points to not real
  6. im talking about the other thing my life being turned upside down lol, but its ok i guess its the same principle
  7. yeh i get that, but its the stigma around it, its not to do with the generalisation of something bad happening, for instance, im not living in fear of dying or, i dont know, anything else to some degree, i dont know, just feels alot more of a real possibility i dont think im being THAT, like unrealistic with my worry here, but what can i really do about it nothing? but it creates depression and anxiety on a day to day basis, i dont see much solution for that, beside go back in time.
  8. i think that the problem is i never realised the lasting effect something like that has because of peoples ignorance unfortunately and, unfortunately htats the way it is, and it relaly kind of sucks, and if ida known would have never have went there with it. sigh, so now i feel like any day my world can be turned inside and out etc. name stained everything.
  9. i think this is correct correlation with what you said, about before with the past and what happened and what i am doing now, and i think the anxiety is so prevelant because it is maybe a real possibility of that coming true, the whole false confession thing previous adn the stigma attached to it unfortunately anything that alters what i can and cant do in life is very distressing, and it seems to be something i cannot accept.
  10. im just wondering if anyone else has ever experienced anything like this?
  11. Ok so I guess I didnt articulate it very well. Its not an eye problem per say, you know stress headaches, that are like, a result from anxiety well anyway, Its almost like I can feel teh anxiety in my head, behind my eye sometimes it feels as if my actual, eye is bruised but its not, and it goes down into my nose, its liek a stress headache or something i dont know, so its like tension behind my eye, sometimes when blink fast to try and combat the anxiety its like a feeling to put it just right my eye very rarely spasms its very strange it dissipates when I pull the eyelid, but then comes back straight away, its hard to explain, but its definitely from anxiety of some sort, because the pain is associated with a worry of an old spike to do with false memroies, and when i forget about the spike the stress goes and the eye pain goes. its very strange.
  12. I have a weird pain above my eye, that is almost like something i spike over, i pick at my eye lid its like a compulsion but it never goes away EVER, im so confused by this why wont it go awya.
  13. u have to break the loop! right? thats what it is and it will get u in the loop man! however it can god this disorder is tricky! what hope have we got, we have to manage ourselves, damn.
  14. true had abit of a thought today and im really trying to push myself to be accepting of the uncertainty of any situation or any thought that my brain brings to me, obviously ocd is very good at making us feel like oh this time is unique or, because its an "action" so to speak that could have been prevented like by washing hands, its my fault and I have to treat this is as a legitimate threat, I think a big part of my ocd is responsibility the fear of being responsible for something bad, anyway, yes I think and I know a willingness to have the thoughts and the uncomfortability of the uncertainty is the only way forward regardless, other wise we are really just confined to this brain and when it says jump we say how high, im having this re-established right now this philosophy, today I rode some spikes out big time. I had a thought and unfortunately, I came to the conclusion that it could be likened to a broken fan on your laptop (i have one right now) but basically we have to ignore the nosie, and focus on the other things, movies, music, would it be right to conclude we have been given faulty wiring and, the acknowledge of this significance of this wiring just adds to our suffering. i kno this is true, albeit a hard reality to accept, because our brain naturally wants that homeostasis, i kno and have read the treatment of ocd feels counterintuitive but walking that walk and actually ignoring all your "survival" instincts how do we do it?
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