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oetegenn1976

Yet another death in the family....My dad x

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It has been only 5 weeks since my brother in law died, still in shock that he's gone and not coming back.... OCD raised its ugly head and although it's been tough, even though I was totally shocked of the sudden death of Chris, I started to see a glimpse of light and things were starting to get gradually normal.  Now I am back to square one, my poor dad passed away last week, 5 weeks after Chris! We have to all go through the funeral process and the grieving onto of grieving yet again.  I cant seem to cry, as all my tears were gone from Chris.  But I miss my dad terribly, I know he's no longer suffering as he had years of health problems after problems and in the end it caught up with him.  But it's just so hard and so soon.....

my OCD is obviously playing on this again with health anxiety my mind is all foggy and feels like cotton wool, convinced it's a tumour or aneurysm.....probably just the mind protecting itself from more trauma!  My chest and arm ache, convinced it's a blood clot or heart attack, probably just stress and cos I'm so tensed! Have a chest cough that I've had on and off for years nothings different, concerned its lung cancer or sumin! Its probably just the same I've always had just magnified! Scared I'm going mad..... As what upstairs and had images of killing my mum! Which why would I? Obviously OCD is loving this trauma and gripping on to it! It wont bloody win though!

I'm just so fed up of this year, it's one thing after another. 

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I am sorry to hear that. You will have a an extra hard time ahead of you, no doubt about it but try your best becaue compulsions are not an solution. You need to see it that way. Remember that the cost of compulsions always needs to be payed of at some moment in the future

Edited by OCDhavenobrain

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Just been to cinema to try and keep living a normal life, and just got this overwhelming feeling that life isn't the same cos they have both gone.... feel like I'm going crazy with fear, all sorts of emotions.  Really don't like this feeling at all.

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