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Help for 9yr old son

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I am looking for some advice on where to do for help. My son has been suffering with anxiety pre lockdown and was due to start therapy through school however the school couldnt see my concerns at all. I am wondering if his anxiety could be linked to ocd. He has always been a fan of routine and liked things his ways. He wont drink from another cup than his own and just before schools closed refused to use their knives and forks. He was having panic attacks walking through the school gates although was ok when there and always a model student hence why they arent worried. He keeps talking about the feeling of something bad happening and the feeling in his chest. He is very negative on any situation and always has to think of the world possible outcome. The radio station has to be on the right one or his head goes funny. He is very black and white and likes to point out if things arent 100% right, like if i say its taken 15 minutes to get somewhere he will point out im lying as its only taken 14 and why would i say 15! Post lockdown it has got increasingly worse and i an really worried about school in september. They hve written to say he isnt allowed his own water bottle for a start. I think the therapy will be put back as hes just not a priority and they've already warned me loads of children will need their support due to covid.

He currently wont leave my side when we go out even to the park on his bike.

Where do i go for support as everything seems to be through school. I should also say we had a private assesment done for learning and they feel he may have some form of adhd although again school are adament there is nothing wrong. A referral has been done for that but looking at 3 yr wait. Surely i should be able to get him help without the school? Sorry for long post i just dont know what do to

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Hi there Danielle :)

I'm sorry to hear about your son and the struggle you're having accessing help. Have you thought about seeing a GP with your son?

GPs can refer to your local CAMHS services, which stands for Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service. Waiting times will vary depending on where you are in the country, but it could be good to start the process :)

Edited by Gemma7
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Thank you Gemma. Yes we have been the gp but apparently the school have to refer for all mental heath issues due to age. Just not getting very far as the school dont see what we see at home and all i get is most kids can have little traits like that. I am thinking of going back to the gp though as ocd has been getting worse and it was mostly anxietu we went with x 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi Danielle 

I also have a 9 year old son with anxiety issues which hasn't yet been diagnosed as ocd, but has some features of this. We live in Liverpool and because of the issues he has in school he has had some therapy already which was helpful but his anxiety has increased again over the summer. I also got the gp to refer to camhs but have recently found out that we could have done a self referral so it might be worth getting in touch with camhs yourself to ask if you can do this. There is also a parent support group attached to our camhs service so try and look locally for that. We were referred last October and have just had an initial assessment over the phone, hopefully treatment will start soon but I would say to get referred sooner rather than later. Like you, school did not initially recognise there was a problem and saw it as my son having behavioural problems rather than anxiety so we had to push a lot for stuff to change in school. My sons main problem is with intrusive thoughts which can be triggered a lot on school and csn be difficult to deal with. Hope you get can get a referral sorted soon. 

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Hi Danielle, 

I used to work in mental health, adults, not children but would agree with everything else has said.

However, and not to add something else into the mix, I am wondering if there is another possible source of anxiety. I have been looking into this re my partner- there can be overlap between OCD and autism. They of course aren't the same, but some the can sometimes present similarly. 

Some of what you have written makes me think a little more of autism (routine, being very black and white) than OCD possibly, or a combination.  But I know less about autism than OCD as I didn't train in that.

I'm only new to the forum but I hope it's okay to post a link to the National Autistic Society website, I have gone to Asperger's in particular based on what you have said about your son: 


I may not be on the right lines, but we all know the feeling of the quest for answers and I couldn't not share something if it was possibly helpful at all. 

Best of luck?

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