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OCDC!

Obsessed with reading up on ocd ?

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Hi, I’m new on this forum. I haven’t yet been officially diagnosed with ocd but I recently contacted a therapist as I’m pretty sure I do have it as I have had many of the symptoms my entire life. However, since coming to the realisation that I probably do have it, I’ve been obsessed with reading up on it. I spend hours flicking through this forum, watching YouTube videos and reading up on it. Whilst it does provide me with more information and hearing other people’s stories is comforting, there’s also a bad side to this. Because now I’m overthinking absolutely everything I do. Every action I make there’s a voice in my head saying ‘that’s ocd’, and then I overthink it, get another obsessive thought and then a compulsion. I’ve always dealt with obsessive thoughts and compulsions but I didn’t always notice them that much, but since self-diagnosing and reading up on it constantly, I can’t stop thinking about them. It’s very draining. I know I should stop reading up about ocd because that is what’s making it worse, but it’s like a cycle. I read about it, overthink an action I’m doing, this triggers an obsessive thought, followed by a compulsion, start feeling drained, then come back online again for answers, then the cycle repeats. I feel like I’ve been constantly overanalysing myself and everything I do. I just wanna know, am I alone in this? Is this even ocd or am I simply overthinking and overanalysing myself like many neurotypical people do. The more I think about it, the more it becomes some loop in my head that I can’t escape. Any advice or answers to this? 

 

 

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You are over thinking, what ever you read about OCD you think you have that and that leads to a thought what you read and you do the compulsion. Try to stop reading I know its tough reduce the reading time slowly. Go to the therapist and get diagnosed with OCD and what theme of OCD you have than your mind will get clear that you have this OCD and not other.

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Hi OCDC

thanks for sharing! sounds like exactly what is going on in my head for last 6 months from the moment I wake up till the I try to go to sleep ! the therapist assessed me for having OCD and gave me a  an OCI score of 121 been waiting to see the therapist for CBT for 6 months as I am still not certain it's OCD!  I feel your pain when you say it's draining, the doc prescribed me fluoxetine at first and now I am taking sertraline but that doesn't seem to be working! 

I'm in 40s now but realize I have had various obsessions and compulsions since as far back as I can remember as a child but have just got on with things hiding them from other people - is this a similar situation to your realisation of OCD? 

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Thanks for your reply @OCD 1  Yes, I have also had obsessions and compulsions as far back as I can remember and I’m in my twenties now. I actually never thought anything of them, I thought everyone had them, I kind of just saw them as habits, doubts, and anxiety that every human has. In fact it might indeed just be that, I might not even have ocd. However, my dad and my grandma on his side both have it. Not sure if it can be inherited but if it can, it would make sense. Sounds mad but I only actually really thought I might have it after I watched a couple of tv shows about ocd by accident! I thought, wow that’s me. Then after researching the symptoms, the way my mind works made a whole lot more sense haha! 

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On 20/11/2020 at 22:48, OCDC! said:

Thanks for your reply @OCD 1  Yes, I have also had obsessions and compulsions as far back as I can remember and I’m in my twenties now. I actually never thought anything of them, I thought everyone had them, I kind of just saw them as habits, doubts, and anxiety that every human has. In fact it might indeed just be that, I might not even have ocd. However, my dad and my grandma on his side both have it. Not sure if it can be inherited but if it can, it would make sense. Sounds mad but I only actually really thought I might have it after I watched a couple of tv shows about ocd by accident! I thought, wow that’s me. Then after researching the symptoms, the way my mind works made a whole lot more sense haha! 

Hi, thanks again yes this sounds very similar to me! Unfortunately, it seems genetics does a play a part in it, my dad also likely has OCD. I too came across it by chance wondering why I kept drinking alcohol to excess everytime I drank most usually in unfamiliar circumstances such as with people I don't know or new places. I now realise I have been doing this most of my life to get rid of the intrusive thoughts which I get more of when I am feeling anxious. The OCD then lay hidden as I was thinking perhaps I had an addiction or problem with alcohol and just couldn't handle the drink. With the lockdowns it has confirmed that I am not really an alcoholic as I can go for weeks without a drink and no urge to get drunk at all. The only urge is to have a glass of wine or 2 whilst cooking/eating the Sunday roast which weirdly seems likely a compulsion more than anything as I can only start drinking the wine at a set time of the cooking process. I also thought before everyone had these thoughts and remember asking colleagues before, do you get these urges of headbutting or punching people in meetings which they'd usually laugh off and call me a joker, however, in my mind at the meetings I was holding my hands back and thinking don't get to close otherwise I will hit them!

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