ROCD I think.

[Coolcam]

Does anyone elses OCD make make affection really difficult?? I also find it hard to show love! Recently I've been struggling to kiss my girlfriend as soon as I do my mind tells me to stop... It's affecting my relationship with my partner. 

Could it be related to social anxiety? I've had social anxiety for a while and when I become hyper aware of social anxiety that's when I become bad in social situations and worry what people think of me and it's really upsetting.

I really love my partner and I don't know how to get over this. I have ROCD and constantly worry about my relationship and compare it to other relationship. I want the thoughts to stop

[snowbear]

Hi Coolcam,

Listen to what the thoughts are saying. What is it they tell you will happen if you show affection?

Challenge that thinking. Accept that the thoughts/feelings that you 'shouldn't show affection are your OCD. Then refuse to listen any more. Refuse to engage with them and carry on being affectionate regardless.

[Coolcam]

Hi snowbear, 

Thank you for your reply. I try to acknowledge them and refuse the thought but it doesn't always work. I have always listened to my head so it feels so real. I try to listen to my heart but it's difficult. 

Im new to OCD and I'm struggling. My thought just tell me I don't want to show affection, doesn't really tell me anything will happen apart from you won't enjoy it (which I don't very often anymore because of the thoughts) 

My only form of relief is reassurance which I know is bad but it's the only time I can feel good  

[snowbear]

On 16/06/2022 at 12:45, Coolcam said:

My thought just tell me I don't want to show affection, doesn't really tell me anything will happen apart from you won't enjoy it (which I don't very often anymore because of the thoughts) 

If you're struggling to ignore the thought then I suspect it goes a bit deeper than just not enjoying it. There'll be some 'hidden meaning' behind the not enjoying part.

For example you might be thinking (or just have a gut fear without putting it into words) that if you don't enjoy the affection in your relationship then...

- the raltionship won't last

- it makes you a liar, pretending to feel what you don't feel

- that you would have to 'do the right thing' by your partner and end the relationship so they can find someone 'more honest'.

And so on. All nonsense, but IF you're thinking/feeling things like that and subconsciously that's what 'not enjoying the affection' means for you then it would be no surprise why you struggle if simply ignoring the OCD thoughts has (in your mind) such catastrophic outcomes.

So you accept your thinking on the matter may be catastrophising and unrealistic. And then ignore the thoughts with that in mind. The only real consequence of ignoring the thoughts is you get free of OCD.

[Coolcam]

@snowbear Thank you again for the reply! The hidden meaning after looking into this is that the relationship won't last and that really upsets me. I want this relationship to last but I feel like I'm ruining it by not being myself anymore because of these thoughts.