OB1

Glad to hear it Matt, keep going. Even when I think 'I can't be bothered tonight' I'm always glad I did go.

According to AMC it's the biggest killer of men under 54 Angst

Hi Matt I started going last year and now I'm a regular. I've found it's a place to feel supported and heard, I actually look forward to seeing familiar faces and supporting other people which helps me feel good. Like you allude, it's not an OCD specific group but that doesn't mean it can't help as everyone is there to support and listen no matter what. I think you'll find there may well be some there with OCD, certainly anxiety which is a common thing where I go. I'd say give it several tries before making a decision if it's for you or not. I think I went once or twice a few years ago and didn't go back, it just didn't feel right at the time, but now it does. All the best

I think denial helps us get through very difficult situations until we're ready to face up to them.

It's so encouraging to see us talking like this too I think the main reason for trying not to cry or admitting we do, is a fear of judgement from others, men and women.

Hi @Colin I very much relate to your experience and you have my sympathy. I've been going through a grieving process over the last 12 months, grieving for the many lost opportunities, relationships and for the parts of me I've gradually lost. We are born with our own unique characteristics, traits, gifts and quirks, some good some less so! Sadly for many reasons (trauma, OCD, problems in our family of origin, badly informed influential others like teachers, friends etc) we gradually learn to abandon those essential parts of us that make us who we are, until eventually we feel lost but if we're lucky enough to realise this is happening, it's incredibly painful! That's why some people turn to drugs, alcohol, excessive exercise, workaholism.....it's too painful to face. In trauma circles they call the process of grieving and facing up to those painful feelings as returning to your true self or coming home. I think some might mistake looking back as not moving forward, but I've found it's really helping me to move on and crying has been especially helpful, it is the bodies way of healing. As men we especially need to let the tears flow, it's why so many men struggle and sadly take their own lives, we're told from a very young age not to cry and that's one example of a part we are forced to abandon. I also recommend talking about it, on top of therapy, I've joined a men's mental health group where I can talk openly about my experiences and I can meet others who may not have OCD but understand what I'm going through. It sounds to me you're heading in the right direction and I wish you all the best!

I really feel for you @Buffalo Many Times and @gael I had a change of medication last year and it was horrendous but I did settle after a few months. Our experience of reduced followed by an increase of symptoms sounds similar. The symptoms I had was my anxiety went through the roof so I couldn't sleep, it was really horrible but it did subside and settle in the end, a few months I think. I can't give you any advice Buffalo other than tell you my symptoms settled, hopefully that gives you some comfort. It's not nice because we are suffering and just want to know it will end at some point soon. I also agree with @northpaul we do need to do other things to help ourselves which I know is much easier said than done when you feel so terrible but the alternative is do nothing which will change nothing. I also called various help lines like Samaritans to talk about how bad I felt and practiced accepting the feelings without judgement or self criticism which was hard but helpful. Take care

Hi Marko This is heart wrenching to read and I'm really sorry to hear you were treated this way. I have some comparable experiences with my own dad although the specifics are different, but after years of trying on my part and no trying and my dad's part, what I've finally learned is to protect myself first, it's always going to be me and my mental health first, my dad is second. I'm not saying don't speak to your dad but my advice is to put yourself first and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Hope this helps a bit.

Horses for courses right? I really like riding in the winter, I like the bleakness! Managed to ride without too much rumination today and enjoyed most of the experience especially a fast descent through the woods

I'm happy to hear you had that sort of childhood @Mcajshaw I also love mtbing, trying to see some humor in our mutual mental arguing with someone having a go at us on our bikes which isn't unusual. I do exactly the same as you and spend a lot of my ride having imaginary arguments trying to come up with the best response. I'm heading out this morning and will try hard to take in the environment instead. Getting out over xmas?

Late to the party but this is me all over, it's something I've struggled with for 40 years or so and would love to change. I know it's linked to emotional abuse as a child. Hope things have improved for you @Mcajshaw

Really sorry to hear that @gael it must be very hard. I'm also having EMDR alongside talking therapy for trauma but not really sure if the EMDR specifically is working as people tell me it does. I try to keep an open mind though.

I very much resonate with this and am sorry you are having the same issues. It's fantastic to hear your positive attitude towards this

I love this and found this attitude helped me to stop smoking. Rather than see an OCD 'episode' as a failure, see the time between when you didn't carry out compulsions as a success. The successes will build and eventually you will succeed I'm on medication and I can't positively say it helps but I'm sure it does in some way.