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gingerbreadgirl

OCD-UK Member
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Everything posted by gingerbreadgirl

  1. I think it is a guarantee actually that carrying out compulsions will always lead to more compulsions.
  2. If you confessed everything then I can **guarantee** that you would later remember other stuff you need to "confess" and you would get stuck in a never ending cycle which would break you and your wife.
  3. This is an interesting discussion. I've thought this before. In some ways I agree that mental health should be treated on a par with physical health and therefore patient is more appropriate. That said I actually really dislike the word patient even in a medical setting and in some ways would prefer the word client even with a medical doctor. To me the word patient has always suggested this power dynamic where the person is a passive recipient of the doctor's expertise. I prefer the idea that we are an active participant (whether in therapy or with a broken leg) and I've always hated this sense that the doctor is "in charge" and we bring nothing. My best patient/doctor interactions have been where I've felt like we are a team approaching the problem and to this end I actually am not keen on the word patient in general. Just my twopence worth!
  4. My viewpoint has been for a long time you would be better having some space from your wife.
  5. Keep going. It will throw everything at you. Just push through, grit your teeth and refuse to go there. You're doing so well nll and you are strong and you can do this. Keep going. Keep treating it ALL as OCD no matter what it throws at you.
  6. The intrusive thought isn't the fantasy - the intrusive thought is the one you have about the fantasy being wrong. When you go through periods of being fine, then suddenly you remember a fantasy from years ago, you get that sinking feeling of panic - THAT is the intrusive thought. The "omg I had that fantasy how could I what if I'm awful and need to tell my wife" etc etc. A bit like suddenly thinking - omg did I lock the door - locking the door isn't OCD, obsessive thoughts about locking the door is OCD. The fact is though that the worst theme is ALWAYS the theme we have right now. Whatever it may be.
  7. I think from a cognitive perspective you need to not only leave the fantasies be BUT ALSO learn to see it as ok to disagree with your wife. You don't need her to agree with you. She has her opinions and you have yours. You don't need to agree you just need to not discuss.
  8. It's just so utterly unacceptable to have to navigate this. If you went for treatment for a broken leg and they were like - put leaches on it or stick pins in it - they would be struck off.
  9. Is this the same one from before that you thought was religious? Or a different one?
  10. This is outrageous. I just can't believe these people are employed who seem to have so little understanding.
  11. It's tricky isn't it, I can see both sides of this. I guess in one sense you could compare it to someone eg self harming, or an alcoholic drinking themselves to death - they may be desperate to do these things to try and calm emotional pain, but is it responsible to give them the tools to do so? Nll's use of the forum was making him more and more ill and the forum does have a responsibility. That said I can see where you're coming from too bluegas, about keeping those lines of communication open. Sorry for talking about you nll - hope you're doing a little better?
  12. Honestly I wouldn't go back to my early twenties for anything. I know it sounds so annoying to say but honestly it really is true that you just stop caring about these things. I was out at clubs and on trips away etc and honestly I MUCH prefer my life now which many would say is super boring If I could go back to my younger self I would tell her that this stuff absolutely doesn't matter but I am pretty sure she wouldn't care what I had to say haha I'm not meaning to minimise because I totally understand why you feel the way you do. But I think this idea of fitting in really does matter less as you get older and you "settle in" to who you actually want to be and what genuinely makes you happy, not what others are doing
  13. You've been told this many times nll. The anxiety will not lessen because you're doing so many other compulsions
  14. My absolute honest opinion is that you would be better off away from your wife. I think it is very difficult for you to recover in these conditions. Her spitting on you and pouring beer on you is not acceptable in my opinion
  15. It hasn't subsided because you do constant compulsions - you may not confess to your wife but you confess to us every single day. And the days you don't do that you are ruminating/googling etc.
  16. Hi myownworstenemy, The issue with NLL is not that the fantasies were unwanted - they were normal fantasies which he enjoyed at the time. The issue is that now after the event OCD is convincing him he was wrong to have them and he needs to confess to his wife. The fantasies weren't intrusive - but the thoughts now about whether they're "acceptable" or not are intrusive and OCD. Hope that makes sense!
  17. You're right ivy - will stop getting into that debate. I think showing the care coordinator your posts sounds like a good idea NLL xx
  18. Yes but you haven't seen his notes either yet you have still confidently said that it is "clearly wider than OCD" - even though OCD is what nll has been diagnosed with and treated for multiple times. As far as we on the forum are aware there is no reason to suppose it is anything more than that. Everything NLL has described can be explained by OCD. My view is also that the professional is out of step to give a moral judgement on the fantasies which what seems to be the case here based on what NLL tells us, which again is all any of us can go on.
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