Lynz

Because you have crippling perfectionism due to your OCD, and unless you address it then you'll forever keep finding problems that you believe need fixing.

Just typical isn't it. Women are overlooked yet again in medical services

I think you're doing really well. Try not to get drawn into the ruminating and compulsions as much as possible. Keep your goals in mind to distract you. You've got another night booked at the hotel next week to look forward to, you had a good 1-to-1 session with your counsellor and you're starting CBT tomorrow. These are all positive steps. Next time you go to the hotel try and leave the vodka but if you have to have some then perhaps just have one glass rather than half a bottle. Keep going! You're doing great

I'm so pleased for you. I think the best thing for you to do is to just focus on ensuring your physical needs are met now as much as possible and take it one step at a time. You've had a good meal and drank loads of water which is great. The next thing is to ensure you have a shower and brush your teeth and a change of clothes. I know you're worried about the bed not being clean (it will be but I know your OCD probably won't accept that), but if you don't want to get in the bed then even just lying on the bed fully clothed so you can stretch out and be comfortable will help enormously. If you can manage a few stretches inside the hotel room as well and keep your legs up as much as possible when resting then that will also be great, as I'm sure you'll be stiff and sore from being in your car for so long. Good luck and don't worry you've got this

I understand. Don't feel guilty. It's good that you're doing what is best for him. I was only concerned that your son was still with you while you were in the car. I hope you can get some help soon

I hope you don't mind me asking this but if you're in your car all the time right now then where is your son? Does your son not live with you?

I'm so sorry you're suffering @Hurting I'm also sorry to say that your partner's actions regarding the wheelie bin and wrapping things from the bin as presents is absolutely disgusting and abusive behaviour. If my partner did this to me I would be absolutely devastated and would leave him tbh as these are not the actions of someone who loves you, and I don't even have contamination OCD themes. You also don't deserve it at all, no matter how bad your OCD has been. If your partner can't cope with your difficulties then they have the choice to leave, they don't have to stay and then be deliberately cruel to you. I'm glad the crisis team are helping you and I hope things improve for you soon x

This is so awful @McW I'm so sorry to hear this

Don't worry @cam I did something similar in my thread on the member’s forum the other day because I'd got no replies, and at the time it felt like my suffering was being ignored. When I calmed down a bit I apologised and nobody was offended. It's not nice having this disorder but I've found most people on here to be understanding and supportive.

Condolences on the loss of your mum It's not surprising that you're having a bit of an OCD flare up at this time as grief, stress and other difficulties can have a detrimental effect on our mental health. The good thing is you recognise that your OCD is at play here and you have also recognised what compulsions you have done. It must be difficult for your partner but hopefully they will be understanding that you might fall into unhelpful patterns at this time when you've just lost your mum. The important thing is to be kind to yourself and draw a line under this episode by accepting you've had a blip for understandable reasons, and try and not let it happen again next time by redirecting your attention when you get the intrusive thoughts and not doing any compulsions.

I'm glad to read that you've managed to go round to your partner's for Christmas. Hope you can get through the day without too many mental upsets.

Ask your GP/midwife/health visitor for a referral to the perinatal mental health team. These problems are very common in new mums with and without OCD as the hormones can make your brain go a bit haywire. That's why the mental health support available is generally very good. You might even be able to self-refer depending on what area you're in.

Don't worry Matt. We've all had moments where we mess up. You're right this illness is horrible but I've found these forums to be a great help.

You don't need to get the post taken down. It's perfectly reasonable to discuss what is upsetting you in terms of your OCD. Matt is being unreasonable expecting you to moderate or censor what you post when we are a mental health forum where users are encouraged to post specifics about their illness to get advice from others. It is up to us to manage our own triggers when interacting on this forum and not for other users to moderate their posts if they don't go against any of the forum rules. Nothing the OP said was in anyway shocking and the fact that it triggered you @Matt is your issue and not the OP's.

NHS - Where to get urgent help for mental health

This is your OCD creating a problem where there isn't one. My husband is from the traditional Anglo-Irish ruling class. I on the other hand am from a working class background in Liverpool whose ancestors were dockworkers. We've been together for 16 years and have been happily married for the last 4 years. Class differences have never come up once as an issue in our relationship except when we're joking about it.

Call the crisis team today. You're quite clearly not well at all and need urgent help.

You've got to "feel the fear and do it anyway". Cancelling Christmas will do nothing but make your OCD worse. You're not responsible for your son's wellbeing any more. He is an adult therefore it's his responsibility. Even if you go ahead with Christmas and feel like an absolute nervous wreck the entire time then that is the right thing to do. Also stop googling about this. It's easier to stop doing that than it is to stop ruminating so commit to yourself that you won't Google about it anymore between now and Christmas. Maybe once Christmas is over you can tackle the rumination. For now I would use the 'park it' technique to try and help you sleep. If you find yourself ruminating at night and can't sleep then make a decision that you're going to carry on worrying about this and ruminating in the morning when you first wake up. Use a distraction tool to help. I find the 'sleep stories' on the free Medito app really helpful, or there are free sleep stories on YouTube you could listen to.

That's great progress. You've contacted some companies who are experts in this field and they've advised you that they don't need to do anything further with the loft. Considering it would have been an easy paycheck for them the fact that they've advised you that you don't need the work done rather than them just taking the money shows that your fears are highly exaggerated by OCD and are not based in reality. If there was a significant risk present then one of those companies would have accepted the job and taken your money. I imagine though that you will initially feel reassured by this but the doubts may soon creep in again. That is when you need to work on the doubts and not perform compulsions which will only worsen your OCD in the long run.

I'm not sure about this "1970s mindset" accusation. I wasn't even born until 1988!

Me too sadly.

Stop it @ocdjonesy you're just too funny I love you

This is 100% true. I work in an old art gallery which has tons of asbestos in it. There are warnings stickers on some fire doors that they contain asbestos but I am still having to open and shut them everyday probably with some force so that they close properly as this is part of my job. There was also some work done in one of the back of house areas which involved dismantling something containing asbestos. The appropriate safeguards were - the workmen directly involved with this job were to use appropriate PPE but everyone else who may have been walking past the area that was closed off were to carry on as normal. I do remember having a thought when walking past like "but what if one of the workman's clothes are contaminated with asbestos and they're walking through the building and spreading it around?", and whenever I have to open and close the fire doors that contain asbestos I do sometimes think "what if I slam this too hard and release asbestos into the air and then breathe it in?" However because my OCD themes are nothing to do with asbestos I am able to simply go "nah, I don't care", and dismiss these worries and get on with my day. I have seen and acknowledged that there may be a small risk to me however I have made the decision that I am simply not going to be bothered by it at all. This is what we aim for in treating our OCD. We can't avoid all risk forever but we have to relearn how to appropriately respond to risk and even more crucial is learn to live with some level of risk every day.

You won't hurt their feelings. This sort of thing will happen all the time and they'll just move on to their next client. If they are that thin-skinned that their feelings actually do get hurt by a client not making another appointment then they're in the wrong job.

Just don't make another appointment with them. I've seen a few different therapists and some I've thought weren't right for me. When they've asked about making another appointment I just said something like I'll have to get back to you cos I've got a busy week next week, and then I just don't make another appointment. You don't owe them anything really so don't overthink it.