Dandy

Hey guys Thankfully I've not been doing too badly recently! I think my exams have been helpful in distracting me and giving me a strict routine to stick to I still have moments, though, where I can't tell whether it is appropriate to let my boyfriend know something out of trust and respect, or whether I am performing a confession compulsion to get reassurance. For example, a couple of days ago I was out with my friends, and one of the guys, who is gay, grabbed my hand as we walked along. I got out of it as quick as I could and so it was probably only 10 seconds, but now I'm worrying that that is something I should tell my boyfriend. Any tips or advice on how to navigate this? Thanks

Hey guys, any advice on what to do when a worry that you used to have (and got over successfully and haven't worried about for a long time!) comes back and finds a new way to make you doubt/ruminate? Something about the reoccurrence makes it feel more real and also more disheartening!

Thank you! This is exactly the thing. I wish I had video evidence of every single thing, or else I always just think: oh if only I hadn't gone there, if only I hadn't seen this person, if only I had stayed home on my own because then there is no possible way of doing anything wrong! And yes it always seems to start with a: 'Oh how horrible would it be / what on earth would I do if [...] had happened?!' and that's it, it's like it happened! Or I sometimes see pictures or hear people talk about events and that can trigger it too, but usually with this question spinning round in my head. Thank you for the advice xx

Thank you for your reply. So is it not best to just confess to it as I will never know for sure? Would that essentially 'cover all the bases'?

How do I allow myself to stop thinking back to try to remember something? I feel that I absolutely must find out whether something happened - if it did, I have to tell my boyfriend. If it happened and I don't tell him, I am lying to myself and to him. I can't remember it happening, I have no image or specific situation in my mind, but what if that's because it didn't seem important at the time?? I could've just forgotten?? I love him so much I can't live with this hellish guilt. I need to know! What do I do, please help! I can't allow myself to stop tying to remember!

Hi guys ! Recently - because I've been being so careful about not stepping a toe out of line and am super sensitised to anything that my OCD might come and brand as 'inappropriate' - I have found that my OCD has come to focus on what other people say to me. So if, for example, I do nothing or something completely innocent and someone jokingly says something flirty / inappropriately suggests something, I feel like I have done something wrong, or at least I feel like I have to tell my boyfriend that it happened and that to not tell him is deceitful. Any advice on what to do here? I obviously can't control what other people do and it's exhausting worrying about what someone else has said / letting it make me think that I did something wrong ! How do I just chill out and get on with things!

I am struggling with my view on the real-event / false-memory ocd that I am suffering from greatly at the moment - I constantly worry whether I have done something inappropriate or wrong. I am just really struggling to view it in the same way as I view all the other themes that I have suffered from (and overcome!). With them, the worry was always that I WOULD do something or that something WOULD happen - and I was very able to attribute this to it being only THOUGHTS, and that THOUGHTS do not equal ACTION. With my current situation, I struggle to apply this same method! Is there another way of looking at it? Or can the same attitude be applied just in a different way? Any advice would be massively appreciated!

I really think from reading your post that moments like this are useful! You're super self-aware which can only help you in the long run! Hang on in there, we've got this!

I've just been prescribed Sertraline and want to start taking is ASAP, but the problem is I have coursework due in 3 days. Is it worth hanging on for these next couple of days and starting when I've sent it off? I've heard the first few days can be rough, but I feel very bad at the moment and am struggling to work anyway! Any advice?

Hi guys I feel like I'm going through a really bad patch with OCD at the moment. I rarely get a break from it and every time one worry subsides it is very quickly replaced by a new one. I am wasting away hours of my life ruminating and worrying and I really can't afford to be doing that at the moment because I have finals coming up. I've been seeing a college counsellor but she has said I might need extra help and I'm on the list for the IAPT service, but I don't think I can wait that long - it could still be up to 2 months until I see someone. Is the next port of call my GP? Should I be thinking about meds? Really need some advice on what to do

Does anyone ever feel guilty after doing a compulsion? I feel really guilty! I felt like I had to ask a friend whether we had kissed (someone told me drawing the line of responsibility is important with OCD and I decided that my responsibility extended to asking him, finding out, and then moving on). But now, I feel really guilty for having even asked him as I don't want it to send the wrong impression and I am worried that my boyfriend would be angry! Any advice on this? How do I stop feeling so guilty all the time!

Hey guys I'm dealing with a bad bout of false memory OCD at the moment. Months ago, I remember dancing with a friend. I didn't feel any strangeness or worry that night or the next day or for months until a couple of days ago, where the idea popped into my head that he could have given me a peck on the lips. I can't picture it happening and I don't remember feeling weird but I don't know if that is because it just didn't seem like a big deal at the time? I keep trying to remember it properly and I want to ask him if it happened but it would be very embarrassing to ask. I keep reading that the only way to deal with this is to accept the possibility that it COULD have happened and move on. The issue is that if it could have happened I really feel like I need to tell my boyfriend as I can't live with the guilt of him not knowing about something which could have happened that would upset him. I am going through the days with him and I just feel so weird and guilty and I can't imagine this feeling ever going away if I always have to accept that it might have happened! I really need to get my head down and do uni work at the moment and this is completely stopping me, I just sit and question it and replay the memory in my mind and what happened after and how I felt and whether I should just confess it or ask my friend! I can't bear it! What do I do

No I do not, but this feels worse!

Hi friends ! For the past couple of weeks I simply can’t stop confessing things to my boyfriend. Silly things that when I tell him he says why did you tell me that it’s fine. Most recently I was joking about a teacher’s son with a friend and when she said he was our age I sort of said oooh and tucked my hair behind my ear, even though I don’t know and don’t care what he looks like and am in a very happy relationship. It was all joking. All I want to do now is confess this to my boyfriend and I feel like I can’t stop thinking about it until I do. I feel like to not confess is dishonest and disloyal. How do I justify not confessing here??

Hey Tux! Sorry you’re going through it at the moment Reading this it honestly could’ve been me who wrote it! I’m going through very similar things: reassurance seeking from my boyfriend feels like the only thing that calms my anxiety and he’s so amazing too but very occasionally does feel that I’m not taking his emotions into account or can’t stop reassurance seeking What I’ve done with this is I’ve used that as a motivation to stop reassurance seeking, just leaving the thoughts there and telling myself that I’m doing that FOR him - it makes it a lot more bearable. Also, in the back of my mind knowing that I always can talk to him about stuff calms me down because I know that if it got really really bad I could talk to him - that also makes it more bearable. I don’t know if all that makes sense but I hope I’ve helped somehow!