What is happening to me?

[Guest Jalvo]

Sorry about making a new topic, but I am proud! And very happy!

I've been writing about how I now work on resisting washing my hands in certain minor situations. The smaller steps if you like.

Yesterday I dealt pretty ok with some guests using our toilet and the contamination being spread as a concequence of that. I pushed it away and it hasn't bothered me today.

Tonight we went to the cinema. Afterwards I told my girlfriend in the car to drop by and buy a bottle of wine. She thought we had had too much alcohol recently (hehe), but I told her not to ask any questions and just buy it, because we'll perhaps have to open one when we get home (but I am not 100% sure yet). Celebration if you like.

She got incredibly curious and started asking a lot of questions. I smiled to myself.

And after a while I couldn't keep it in.

"I am not gonna shower when we come home," I told her.

She drove straight to the nearest gas station and bought an expensive wine.

And now I am sitting here. All right, I have put on some indoor clothes (because they are more comfortable as well), but I didn't shower!

Well. Just wanted to share this. I feel really good actually!

Off to drink a glass of wine.

Cheers!

[blue]

Hi Jalvo

That is fantastic news WELL DONE

Really pleased for you , keep up the good work mate.

Enjoy your wine

Love Bluexx

[Caramoole]

WELL DONE JALVO

:lol2: :mad: :lol2:

Onwards and Upwards

[Guest napo100383]

wooo well done that is brill

[Adamski]

Hi

As with everyone else a very well done. Small steps and all that!!

Try to keep a mental note of this event....or even write it down. The path to recovery is going to be tricky and you may have your setbacks. Dont worry about these as you have got to be going forward to go backwards! Anjd this is where your mental note plays an important part in turning things around. If it gets bad remember this event....if you have doen it once you can do it again.

Take Care

Adam :mad:

[Guest Dragonfruit]

Fantastic!!!! Well done - that's ace!!! :mad:

Good for you - you should feel very proud indeed - that's a HUGE step

[Guest Jalvo]

Thanks!

It actually felt fantastic.

I was of course very careful when I was out - what I touched and stuff. If I'd gone to a public toilet, I would probably not have managed it.

But there was a strange white spot on the seat in the theatre. My girlfriend told me it was melted cheese you get with nachos. And I believed her.... Fine, it's melted cheese.

It's a small step. But also quite a big one. It means that I from now on soon, hopefully, can go out without any hassle.

As I wrote in another thread:

"It seems that I am able to think more reasonable about things nowadays, and I can easier realize the fact that germs don't live forever and don't jump over from one thing to another to the next forever and ever. It also helps to look at normal people and how they behave - and they still survive."

Just want to add that when I am visiting my parents in my own country (where my OCD strangely enough is getting reduced quite a lot), I never shower after being out; even if I have been to a public toilet. Something extreme would have to happen for me to take a shower (like getting too close to a person urinating on the street or something like that).

And I love the life I have there.

It could perhaps be because I don't have many personal things there to contaminate. And it's after all pointless to worry since my parents would contaminate everything anyway.

Have only been out once since I wrote this post and that was before my daily shower, so now new episodes to be proud of really.

But one thing I have figured out is that every fight you win should be celebrated. Kind of make it into a game which is challenging in a fun way rather than killing you.

(See if I'll say that when I move onto the really hard stuff; toilets and such.... )

Finally a big thanks to everyone on this forum. I believe it was my return to this place which triggered the little warrior in me.

[Guest Dragonfruit]

Well done again Jalvo - you sound to be doing really brilliantly at the moment!!

That's fantastic!

You are so right - every little success no matter how little it may seem on the surface - is a HUGE success! It should be celebrated and shared - it's so good to read the "success" stories - really brightens my day!

This sentence esp made me smile:

But there was a strange white spot on the seat in the theatre. My girlfriend told me it was melted cheese you get with nachos. And I believed her.... Fine, it's melted cheese.

FANTASTIC!!! Well done you

[Caramoole]

Finally a big thanks to everyone on this forum. I believe it was my return to this place which triggered the little warrior in me.

I hope your Little Warrior marches forth and conquers more and more battles

Well done Jalvo and thanks for posting your thread....it's really helpful that people can gain confidence and see that by facing some of these fears you can move forward quite quickly sometimes and build on your success

[Guest gemgem]

well done

[Guest ScottOCDid]

But one thing I have figured out is that every fight you win should be celebrated. Kind of make it into a game which is challenging in a fun way rather than killing you.

(See if I'll say that when I move onto the really hard stuff; toilets and such.... )

Finally a big thanks to everyone on this forum. I believe it was my return to this place which triggered the little warrior in me.

30778[/snapback]

Brilliant, Jalvo. Well done mate! :detective:

Small steps certainly seem to be the best way to undertake the journey to recovery... and I wish you the very best of luck with your steps in the right direction.

OCD can be managed!!!!!

Cheers,

Scott

[Guest Jalvo]

Thanks again!

I'm bumping this adressing the question in the title:

What is happening to me?

First of all I must add that since I am working from home, I am not really forced to go out that often, and when I do I save my one daily shower for afterwards (more convenient in many ways). So no new trips out without showering since my first post.

Since I am so much inside, I am not really too often confronted with the great "dangers," but the smaller things I manage nearly too well now.

Things are going so fine. And fighting is more fun than pain.

I am able to switch off and even instantly "forget" something that would normally bother me for days. I don't care about worrying anymore.

So now I am actually wondering if that's normal for a long time sufferer, or am I doing something wrong?

A few examples:

We live in the basement and I've developed a "fear" of having the windows open after dark in case someone will urinate outside and particles will blow in. The windows facing the garden is ok, I can sort of be sure that nobody will climb the fence to take a pee in our garden. I also tend to feel drops of water on my skin when being close to an open window. Another thought calming me down is; there must in that case be people out there constantly then. Which is silly.

The other day I felt a pretty vivid drop while closing the window. I just went into the bathroom and washed the spot on my arm. Normally I would've worried about other drops hitting my clothes, but having the mentioned thoughts in mind, I didn't bother. My girlfriend also opened the window in the bathroom for a while, and that is facing the street (bad!), and I didn't even rush in to save my towel from potential particles blowing in.

We went to Ikea, and in the parking house I felt a drop. first I didn't worry, but then I started wondering if perhaps some pipes from the toilets in the ceiling had started leaking and that this could have hit me. When I came home I didn't wash my clothes (well I did the day after; they had to be anyway). Normally the bag and the items inside would've been contaminated. My jacked I would've cleaned.

But we packed out the stuff and I put on my jacket the next day.

Again I went shopping. When I was about to pay I noticed a red spot on one juice bottle. Normally I would think "blood" and everything I had put in the basket would've been contaminated. Also my clothes, my keys, everything. I did put it aside, but that was it. It's only some red print which scratched off from another bottle, I thought. I paid and brought everything home. I didn't clean the other groceries or anything. Seconds later I forgot about it all. Or in a way; I now also manage to think; the germs will eventually die. Not today perhaps, but tomorrow.

My girl had some friends over the other night (ok, no squirting men, hehe), and I didn't wipe over anything in the toilet after they left.

I also used the phone again after it got contaminated recently. I didn't clean it. I just used it. Without washing my hands afterwards.

I step in my slippers after having had my shoes on (ok, they are the "clean" new shoes, but still they've been outside).

I skip several handwashes. I touch more things after eachother where I earlier would've washed my hands many times inbetween to prevent contamination.

I use my computer (which is normally a clean area) after touching many things.

My brain just switches the OCD off.

It's weird.

I picked up Brainlock last night after a year. Had only read about 30 pages. And, hehe, I didn't wash my hands after reading; the book would usually be contaminated since it didn't come in plastic from Amazon. My girl has also read it leaving it here and there.

But I wonder; am I rushing this? Am I doing something wrong? Fighting OCD should normally be painful (ok, still haven't come to the public toilets and such though; the great confrontations are still ahead). It's only been less than three weeks since I decided to beat this sucker once and for all. It's still there of course, bigtime, but I manage so many new things, smaller things, but good things. I manage to push it away a lot. And I enjoy it.

[whitebeam]

Jalvo, you are doing so well :grin: . All those things you've managed to conquer!!Hopefully when you get to the dreaded public loos etc you will be able to use some of the strength you've gained from these successes. :lol2:

[Guest Dragonfruit]

omg - Jalvo - you are doing brilliantly!! I am soooooooooo impressed!

You're doing nothing wrong at all - you are doing everything right!

You should feel so proud of yourself - that's incredible!

There really aren't enough words to tell you how well you're doing - you must be feeling a huge sense of burden-relief - excellent - really excellent.

Well done you! :dry: