10 year old son OCD getting worse

[Guest ParentofOCDson]

Hiya,  just wondered if anyone can give me advice or just to reassure me. My 10 year old son has pretty much had OCD tendencies most of his life, in high chair woukd seperate peas and sweetcorn,  when he was 3,  stopped eating for 12 days,  from then on its been,  repeating words or phrases,  doing light switches 16 times,  flushing toilet so many times,  lining things up,  hoarding. All of these haven't been that stressful for him until recently when he developed a fear of germs. He thinks that touching his feet,  door handles,  clean washing,  clothes your wearing plus a couple of other things will contaminate him and make him ill,  as a results he's constantly washing hands but has a very heartbreaking break down if he thinks he's touched something!  Needs a bath or his pjs washed,  he won't wear outside clothes indoors and insists on him and us changing into pjs as soon as he's at home otherwise he won't touch us. In school however he suppresses his OCD for fear of being embarrassed so is over anxious when he gets home often leading to panic atracks. He is very intelligent and aware of what is happening and can talk to you about it when not in panic mode but can't control it and often apologises to us which I say he doesn't need to do. He's just recently under CAMHS and is also under investigation for aspergers which we have suspected for a long time but only recently got the support from his school. He's got an amazing teacher and TA who go above and beyond to help him in school with any anxieties. I rand CAMHS today as I need CBT for him,  they said he's on the list,  but how long is that? What can I do to help him in the meantime as it's breaking my heart seeing him like this and he's caught me a couple of times crying which really upsets him and he keeps apologising for me crying. He's such a lovely,  sensitive little boy. Can he ever get over this and lead a normal life? I'm so worried about his future. Sorry for it being so long. I just would love to know anyone in the same situation please. Thank you so much for listening xxx

[PolarBear]

Hi Parent and welcome to the forum.

Rest assured, OCD is not a life sentence. With the proper help, your son can get better. Recovery is a slow process but it most certainly can happen. Lots and lots of people get to a better place with their OCD and function with relatively normal lives.

Now I'm not in the UK and don't quite understand the mental healthcare system there, but I do know there is a special component of it for youth. You are your child's advocate. You need to stand up for him and push the system to get what you want. Yes he needs CBT, which is the only recommended therapy for OCD. Keep asking for it. Don't let the system dictate to you when things are going to happen. Keep on top of things and make sure he gets in to see a qualified OCD therapist who is used to working with kids.

One thing you want to work on is helping your son do his compulsions. He thinks he needs to do his compulsions (like wearing certain clothes, not touching certain things) in order to reduce his anxiety, but of course it's all made up OCD stuff. There's no truth to it whatsoever. He can learn that, over time. In the mean time you don't want to be participating in his compulsions and helping them to do them. You'll learn that out of therapy too but do try to cut back a bit at home, if you can. You can start telling him things like, "Maybe there are germs on my feet but it doesn't bother me. They're not the type of germs that are going to make me sick." Then touch your feet. Show him it's okay. You can also hug your spouse with street clothes on to show your son it's okay. Little things like that. Don't try to cut him off his compulsions altogether. You'll have to keep helping him a bit until he's in therapy and learning that it's not a good idea to have other people helping with compulsions.

Stay strong. There is light at the end of this dark tunnel.

[paradoxer]

Sorry to hear about your son's and your tribulations. Thought I'd throw this in - responding to an obsession with a compulsion is always the antithesis of the therapeutic - but it might help to set up a routine of your son at least deferring his rituals. It might not work so well with his physical contamination fears, since if he doesn't attend to the concern, the 'contamination' might 'spread', but it works well with, say, reassurance. I don't know, there may be times when he asks for reassurance. You can tell him you'll respond to his request, but not for, say, half an hour, an hour, three hours, the next day, etc. It's a good way for him to undergo the anxiety, but to know that there's a floating device waiting for him if he needs it. In the case of reassurance, sometimes when the time limit is up, the sufferer no longer feels the need to ask for it.   

[Guest Maria Briscoe]

Yes it's heartbreaking but I found sitting with the rituals for a short time pushed them to another so I'm hoping it all get weeker over time as the anxiety moves away. Too much pressure on the sensitive kids these days.

[Mrs porter]

On 23 November 2016 at 21:13, ParentofOCDson said:

Hiya,  just wondered if anyone can give me advice or just to reassure me. My 10 year old son has pretty much had OCD tendencies most of his life, in high chair woukd seperate peas and sweetcorn,  when he was 3,  stopped eating for 12 days,  from then on its been,  repeating words or phrases,  doing light switches 16 times,  flushing toilet so many times,  lining things up,  hoarding. All of these haven't been that stressful for him until recently when he developed a fear of germs. He thinks that touching his feet,  door handles,  clean washing,  clothes your wearing plus a couple of other things will contaminate him and make him ill,  as a results he's constantly washing hands but has a very heartbreaking break down if he thinks he's touched something!  Needs a bath or his pjs washed,  he won't wear outside clothes indoors and insists on him and us changing into pjs as soon as he's at home otherwise he won't touch us. In school however he suppresses his OCD for fear of being embarrassed so is over anxious when he gets home often leading to panic atracks. He is very intelligent and aware of what is happening and can talk to you about it when not in panic mode but can't control it and often apologises to us which I say he doesn't need to do. He's just recently under CAMHS and is also under investigation for aspergers which we have suspected for a long time but only recently got the support from his school. He's got an amazing teacher and TA who go above and beyond to help him in school with any anxieties. I rand CAMHS today as I need CBT for him,  they said he's on the list,  but how long is that? What can I do to help him in the meantime as it's breaking my heart seeing him like this and he's caught me a couple of times crying which really upsets him and he keeps apologising for me crying. He's such a lovely,  sensitive little boy. Can he ever get over this and lead a normal life? I'm so worried about his future. Sorry for it being so long. I just would love to know anyone in the same situation please. Thank you so much for listening xxx

Hi my daughter suffers with germs and extreme anxiety. And she is a really sensitive and shy girl.I'm afraid to say it takes a while to get seen. My daughter is finally getting help now. She goes everyweek. And starts therapy with her pschyscologist on Wednesday. You just have to reassure them all the time. Give plenty of hugs. It's really hard seeing your child like this. We can't go anywhere as a family anymore. I can't be in the house on my own as she thinks something will happen to me. It's really hard trying to be strong as I feel drained. As I'm with my daughter 24 /7 as she's not in school so I have to be her tutor Aswell as being a parent. So at the minute I have no life. As well as my daughter doesn't speak to her friends anymore. Because she says she doesn't want friends which is heartbreaking. So she's no life whatsoever. She's let herself go aswell she used to always take pride in her appearance not anymore. She just can't be bothered. So i know where you are coming from. Hope you get help soon you just have to keep nagging them. That's what I did x

Edited December 13, 2016 by Mrs porter