Hyper Responsibilty OCD

[Atlantis]

HI, 

My OCD centres mainly around a fear of harming, mainly children. Sometimes I find myself with hyper responsibility OCD mixed in with this. For example if I see a kid playing on a swing, I find myself thinking of possible dangers or accidents that can harm the child, and I feel like I should say something to the parent so that they watch the kid. 

A while ago I was under immeasurable amounts of stress due to having an argument with someone. My OCD and depression was off the charts. I was in a store, and there was a woman and her little son in front of me, the kid was being a brat at the checkout, throwing things around, he dropped something under the counter and crawled under to get it leaving his leg sticking out. I noticed that his mum was pulling the trolley forward and that the wheel was going to hit the kids leg.  I had the idea to warn the mother, feeling like it was my duty to prevent harm, but then the thoughts came to deliberately not say anything so that the kid would be hurt by the wheel, and I wanted this to be the case to punish the person that I'd had an argument with earlier in the day.. I found myself agreeing with this thought so didn't say anything to warn the mother, and sure enough the wheel went into the kids leg and he squealed. 

Now I feel like a bad person, because I allowed an intrusive thought to take over my way of thinking, but I am trying to step back and see if for just an unfortunate OCD moment, as it's not the first time it's happened. I think I remember deciding not to say anything when I realised that the kid wasn't going to die or anything as a result of being hit with the trolley.. 

just wondered if anyone with fear of harm / hyper responsibility OCD has any similar experiences?

thanks.

[taurean]

It's all OCD, we don't need to label it anything particular.

With such manifestations as harm, relationships, sexual preference, it  homes in on a core character value such as love and care, liking or whatever - and suggests the opposite to be true instead of our true core value. 

Hyperresponsibility is typical - and the OCD will put fears / concerns under its magnifying lens and exaggerate risk and catastrophise. 

With my harm OCD I was taught this is how OCD works, and work on not giving belief to, or connecting with, intrusive thoughts. 

And see the illnesses' attempt to catastrophise purely as an attempt to hook me into carrying out compulsions and suffering disorder (anxiety/distress). 

 

Edited September 13, 2018 by taurean

[Atlantis]

I think I know what you mean, I've had this situation many times in the past but I think on this occaison the guilt was worse because I went along with the idea of "well I'll let him be harmed because I'm angry with someone" almost like some feeble revenge.. but it was only a shopping trolley wheel and although he reacted with a squeal, kids do overreact and it's hardly a fast moving car so the OCD catastrophized the whole thing - besides, it's not my job to watch what his own mother was doing..