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paco5959

False Memory Hell

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For about 5 years, I have had relationship guilt OCD around an event that happened in the very beginning of my current, healthy relationship. I confessed this event to my long term boyfriend years ago. It caused some turbulence at the time, but quickly was forgotten because although upsetting, it wasn't that bad to where it couldn't be forgotten/forgiven. And although my boyfriend tells me to "let it go" (multiple times of bringing it up after already confessing), it still bothers me endlessly, especially when in high stress situations. I am coming further and further, recognizing the dreaded OCD guilt pit in my stomach and learning how to dismiss it.

But, after 5 years of ruminating over and over, a new "Memory" popped into my head about that night that NEVER was there in the previous years of complete obsessing, breaking down and ruminating until I nearly pass out from exhaustion.

It would be my opinion, that if someone ruminated over a single event for years, then your mind is obviously going to create something new in your brain to tack onto it to obsess about. It makes no sense that you would remember something years later when you were racking your brain for details right after the event. I'm almost positive this new "Memory" didn't happen, but it riddles me with guilt and starts making me question the whole event, and I know the longer its been, the more gaps your brain tries to fill. I KNOW I must let this go. I KNOW this has been years and I KNOW not to let this ruin my relationship by confessing things that are most likely false memories. But the inner turmoil I feel...

Has anyone had false memories pop up over an event years later? I just don't want to feel alone with this.

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You are absolutely right that focusing on one thing for years will cause your mind to embelish the truth. 

The truth is, none of us well remember what we exactly did on a night five years ago. I have trouble remembering last week.

That new detail is emerging now is not a sign the truth is coming out. It's a sign you've simply thought far too much over an insignificant night.

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