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Imhotep

Getting over the worst thoughts

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Hi all,

I've made good progress recently in terms of managing my anxiety levels, using mindfulness techniques. 

However a stumbling block is the content of the thoughts. They are very nasty and disgusting, extremely inappropriate. 

I'm concerned that I won't be able to forgive myself, or should forgive myself at all. My mind ran away with a terrible idea, and made it really unpleasant. I couldn't help it, but feel ashamed all the same. I think there may be some perfectionism at play here, but morally I'm very annoyed at myself. I see myself as a pretty normal guy, no weird fetishes or desires, but had this sick thought, now OCD is punishing me for it. 

I just want some advice in how to handle these feelings going forward.

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Know that thoughts don’t define you!

Distress at thoughts indicate they are unwanted. You are not taking pleasure in them and in fact the opposite is true. 

Treat as ocd and beat it by not responding to the thoughts. Let them be and they will die off eventually! 

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You don't 'handle' the thoughts. You don't do anything at all about them. Disgusting they may be, but they're just ordinary,  every day intrusive thoughts.

Let them go. They don't say anything about you as a person. 

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Great to hear you're using mindfulness techniques; I've been a daily practitioner for a couple of years now and the lessons inherent within those traditions really do shed light on a lot of the problems you're facing. The fact that you feel the way you do about those thoughts is in itself indicative of your character and your good nature. Unfortunately one of the cruel paradoxes of OCD is that the more morally or emotionally repulsed we are by certain thoughts or types of thoughts, the more they manifest. The 'non-reacting' we practice in mindfulness is something that gets stronger the more you practice..trust in the process. 

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