Ocd fear of death

[Lillemz]

Hi I've had ocd since I was about 14, I thought if I watched a video my grandma would die and she did, until last year I'm now 31 I thought it was my fault and I've had terrible ocd about fear of my family dying of cancer and now covid since I was 14. I had cbt last year which helped but I've regressed and I'm waiting for cbt again.

 

I've always felt like I will die young (which I don't care about if I do, I'd rather not but I feel like maybe if I get sick or die my family won't)

I just read something online.... I shouldn't Google stuff I'm stupid. But about feeling like you'll die young and someone said they were intuitive and her brother died young and now I'm worried what if my thoughts are like premonitions or something.

 

I hope I start cbt again soon I'm regressing very bad 

[PolarBear]

Why, oh why, oh why, are premonitions never about the winning lottery ticket???

Premonitions are bogus. Of course your grandma was eventually going to die. And not because of you.