i cant stop my mental compulsions

[lauren1988]

Im upset. These thoughts are really upsetting me. I know its ocd but they feel so real and ocd says i like my thoughts and i hate them but ocd makes me doubt that too. I tried ignoring my thoughts today without doing my mental compulsions like thought neutralising and so on. I let the thoughts come and go. But now I feel ive done wrong. My ocd never been this bad b4. Do u think its coz I have post natal depression too and not long given birth could it be my hormones. My thoughgs dont really bother me anymore this is concerning me. I tried holding my baby today and just letting the thoughts be. Now im upset. Ive also started to doubt whether im thought neutralising because i know its the right thing to do..... im so confused. I feel like I dont know who i am anymore. All i know is id never do what ocd is sayin ..... id die b4 that would happen. I feel compelled to thinking bad things. Can ocd do this aswell? Like it dont feel right unless i think it. It will irritate my head.

[PolarBear]

You've been down this road before. You're really here asking for reassurance, asking whether it's still all ocd. You have to take a leap of faith that it is and treat it as OCD.

[Guest Himmel]

I could have written this. You have ups and downs and right now we are both in the "red area" where we are too much focusing and disgussing the content. So ocd becomes Real. It is horrible. Ocd keep wanting you to neutrualize and makes rules. Even typing this my ocd says if you continue or dont delete this and that the bad your where thinking will happen.

The urge to compulse is so strong and the more I do it the worse it gets but I have difficulties not to. Because my ocd says bad will happen, and I cant allow it. It also say that I might like it to happen and I am a bad mother risking my kids well being if I dont do ocd. Its horrible because you know its nonsense, you are just feeling anxious and that every step is a risk. It is because we are in the content.

But how Can you stop neutrualizing when it feels like a horrible thing will happen? It takes courage and the leap of faith that it is ocd and everyonelse see it but you dont. You just have to trust Them.

[Caramoole]

OCD will throw up a billion variations on thoughts, especially when you challenge the main, obvious ones. Someone who has harm fears, or paedophile fears (say) with help and acquiring knowledge will begin to recognise the thoughts caused by OCD and challenge them.

It's then that the OCD brain can start to taunt and question with lot's of less identifiable, random thoughts

You must want to be like this

You liked that thought

You're doing this on purpose

You don't want to get better

You must be an evil person

Mine can't be OCD

Why did you think that thought if you didn't want it

They're all mental chaffe.....all part of OCD but just less obvious, not written about under main headings........but confusing as they are, they're all part of the same thing. They cause distress, confusion, shame, anxiety......When in doubt, take the leap of faith and accept (as best as you can) that these too are fall out from OCD and must be treated the same as the original intrusive thought, these too are unwanted thoughts