gingerbreadgirl

People without OCD have intrusive thoughts all the time. Just as people with OCD have intrusive thoughts about things that aren't their theme. when I'm at the station I get thoughts about jumping on the tracks or pushing someone else. Sometimes I think what if I really kiss a stranger, or my boss, or what if I kick this dog going by, or what if I accidentally wrote a swear word in my email, etc. None of these bother me cos they're not related to my theme. They pass in and out. Everyone gets these types of thoughts they're part of being human

Hi @Garfield just wanted to say I'm sorry you're struggling so much. OCD is the worst. Please go easy on yourself - a little self compassion can go a long way x

This is a great analogy. I agree this is a confusing issue and I had a similar conversation with my therapist earlier this year. Like - do I do a full on anti obsessional approach (eg the thing I fear is 100% true) or do I just go about my day and let it sit and be uncertain and if so how exactly to do that? I think different therapists will say different things. My therapist was of the view that part of what troubles me is the uncertainty so this is what I should expose myself to. Ie, I don't know if (xyz) is true but I'm going to treat it as unimportant anyway and leave it unanswered. In terms of what goes through your head - as angst said it's about taking an observational approach. Spectating not reacting. So you carry on doing what you were doing and let the thought literally just sit. Do what you would do with thoughts that are very unimportant to you. You don't do much with them. If you have a song stuck in your head, you might find it a little annoying, but you don't do much with it, just get on with your day. The main compulsion you'll want to do is to ruminate and my therapist said the most important thing was to get away from doing this. His view was that preventing rumination (and other compulsions) was more important than the nature of the exposure itself. So he suggested when a trigger hit (either deliberately through ERP or when out and about) - notice that anxiety and let it be there but resist the urge to "fix" it eg by figuring it out or whatever.

I love this

I struggled for several weeks when I started taking Prozac. It sucks that it makes it worse at first. But I really noticed the benefit after that time. I can't remember how long it took but I think after a couple of months I noticed feeling better. Obviously everyone is different but this was my experience. My completely unscientific and unsupported theory is that if it makes you feel worse to start then it maybe suggests it is having an effect so will hopefully become positive once it beds in. I'm not basing that on anything haha! And I know that's not the case for everyone. But it reassured me a bit to think that way when side effects were really bad in the beginning

I agree with this. I have got to the point where I've accepted that OCD will probably always rear its head from time to time but I'm at a point now where I generally just let it sit rather than engaging and it fades into the background in time. Whereas in the past the same trigger might have caused an ongoing, protracted crisis in my life. In some ways I think accepting that is reducing ocd's power more than needing to be "cured". Like I'm saying to OCD - "I don't even care if you stick around, that's how little I care" (not sure if that makes sense).

The thing is you will have areas of your life which OCD doesn't affect. You know what it is like to have a non-ocd problem. If you Imagine a problem you've had which was DEFINITELY not OCD, just a regular run of the mill problem. I'm willing to bet you never wondered if it might be OCD because it never came up. The hallmark of an OCD issue is that nagging doubt. Also trying to figure it out once and for all is another classic hallmark of Ocd and I am wary of feeding into that here.

Many years ago I read a go-to phrase which is if you think there's a chance it might be OCD, then it probably is. This I think is crucial. If something is genuinely not OCD, then you know in your bones. You don't question it. It's not even an issue. But if you find yourself wrestling with "is it OCD? What if it isn't OCD? What does that say about me? I need to know" ... Well you wouldn't be having this battle if it genuinely wasn't OCD.

In my opinion this is a very unhelpful thing to hear on an OCD forum especially where people may be in crisis. Sorry I know you won't like me saying this but I think this kind of rhetoric needs to be challenged. This is just my opinion

But you haven't processed them by doing this. You've reinforced the importance of the thoughts and kept yourself locked in this cycle. If you imagine this applied to contamination (for example) you could rephrase the above as "those intrusions were repeating, and I was overwhelmed. So when I was able I wanted to sit and do some cleaning to feel better". You feel better, you think cleaning has helped you moved on from this anxiety. But it hasn't, it has temporarily given relief but strengthened it next time. Strong anxiety is not a reason to give in - quite the opposite, it is a calling to stand strong

I agree entirely with this

It does get better. I promise. Just keep not engaging with it over and over. I was consumed by this fear and now I never think of it x

Re the first paragraph - you're not avoiding it, you're letting the anxiety be there, you're just not trying to figure it out or fix it. Just let it sit. It's an annoying guest at the party - you don't need to chuck them out (avoidance) but you don't need to chat with them either (compulsions). Your second paragraph is a bunch of ruminating. Is there anything you can be doing that will keep you busy for a while?

It won't fade straight away. It takes time. But it will if you keep starving it of attention

Agree totally. I've been in the pickle you're in now and the ONLY way out of it was to leave it alone. Your brain will absolutely scream at you and initially you will have to brute force yourself away from it as it goes against your every instinct. But eventually it will fade and I promise it won't bother you. But as PB says you will drive yourself to the brink if you keep trying to figure it out

Hi Benny. Really glad you're feeling a bit better. But can you see how you've done some compulsions here which have helped in the short run but have reinforced the idea that you have to be totally certain about this fear? I say this having been where you are - it felt like I absolutely HAD to know my memory wasn't real before I could move on. But the more I tried, the more uncertain and panicky I became. The only thing that really worked was to stop trying to answer the question - over and over and over. Now years later I'm no longer bothered by this false memory. Does this mean I now have certainty around it? No not really. I just don't care anymore, it's a non issue, because I stopped giving it the oxygen of my attention.

Hi Benny. You're in a massive spiral right now and it's an awful place to be. I've had false memories but never seen myself looking down in them. They can look like anything. But - this is reassurance and essentially you need to pull yourself out of this pit of rumination which is incredibly hard. Is there anything you can do right now stay busy?

I think this is connecting to a broader trend I've seen online in general which is quite troubling I think, and it's not surprising it's found its way into OCD themes which can centre on anything. This idea that women (or men tbf) can be objectively "ranked" based on a passing glance in the street and that if said woman is "below average" (according to this very sketchy criteria) then she is discounted (note how not a single personality attribute comes into play here). I see terms such as this chucked around on social media such as "high value" and "low value" and I think this points to a worrying trend. I mean could you consider that one of these women you deem "below average" could actually be worth getting to know and that attraction is based on more than just looking like a supermodel. Otherwise to be frank no one would ever have sex except the Hollywood elite. To me personally nothing would put me off someone more than knowing that they describe people in this way tbh.

I think they have bigger fish to fry than this The ETSA form says this: Have you been arrested or convicted of a crime that resulted in serious harm or property damage? Have you violated drug laws? Have you been involved in terrorism, espionage, sabotage, or genocide? If they had to reject anyone who's been in a fight or peed on a street corner they wouldn't have any time for anything else

One other thing I think separates them (in my view) is that the OCD action usually has an incredible specificity to it. Eg I need to clean this thing because otherwise I will give my kid AIDS etc etc. You may otherwise be not that fussed by neatness or cleaning or whatever it may be, but this one thing will bore a hole in your brain if you don't attend to it. Whereas if you're fastidious you're probably like that in a more general, stable way over time.

I agree with this snowbear. My view is that although fastidiousness and OCD can look similar from the outside (depending on the themes involved) they are actually very different in terms of what drives them. I read somewhere - it may have been somewhere here but I can't remember - something like: being fastidious is you hoover a lot, OCD is you can't stop hoovering (am paraphrasing). In my view the difference is that OCD is anxiety driven and painful and also the more you do the thing in question, the worse the anxiety gets over time (even if it temporarily gets better after doing the compulsion). Whereas if you're fastidious, even if extremely so, you are satisfied by the act of making things to your liking and there is a natural stopping point even if it is an extreme one. OCD has a repetitive, "can't shut it off" nature to it that separates it from fastidiousness (in my opinion which may be way off!)

I am good too thanks Franklin! Still some OCD but in general doing loads better with it x

Hi Franklin I remember you! Glad you are doing well!

I agree with McW that the best way is to recognise it for what it is. I get caught up in magical thinking sometimes and I can really identify with the vague nature of your worries (like you're not sure what the bad thing is exactly). But the thing is bad things can and will happen at some point and we have like 0.0001% control if even that. We have to let things feel a little uncertain and uncomfortable and I know that is much easier said than done