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  1. I feel you for the online dating. A few years ago when online dating started to take off, people figured it would help awkward people like you and me to hook up with people. Sick joke!!!! What it has actually turned into is for a way for already really good-looking and successful guys to pick up a few more girls while doing the least effort possible. If you are super good looking and show yourself as really wealthy and successful you will take off. Otherwise it's like a heroic effort to get any interest at all. Everything has to be absolutely perfect or you won't get the slightest look. I swear a lot of the girls have no intention of meeting up with anyone and are there just specifically to toy with guys, like a cat toying with a mouse. When it got to a stage where I was sending so many messages and I couldn't remember anymore who I had sent a message or not I quit. I think your best chance is with a less mainstream dating site, and even then you should only use your absolute best pictures and tweak your profile in every way so that it makes you look good.
  2. Sounds good mw321. It really is amazing the level of panic and discomfort you can get over nothing at all, just some silly, silly thought. Thanks for the support, nice to know I'm not the only one who gets this.
  3. Nobody has full control over what they are interested in/what they do. Hypervigilance about legitimate dangers isn't the worst form of OCD, especially if it legitimately results in tangibly lower risk. It could to enrich your scientific knowledge, if you got it bad enough you might even become an expert yourself and make progress in the field. Or you could start an asbestos awareness group or something like that. I wouldn't bother trying to attack this form of OCD, it will likely run its course eventually. Like people have hobbies they get obsessed with that don't particularly make them feel good anymore, it's not bad as a hobby, most people would rather watch tv! If you genuinely believe there may be a health risk to children or others, you should definitely make enquiries and try get to the bottom of it. Even if it turns out to not be the case, you might inspire some awareness or expose something that appears to be lacking here in any case with what you've described. It's funny how some people seem to be so cautious and concerned about every tiny little aspect of risk to the point of pointlessness and then you have the other extreme - people who couldn't give the slightest toss, they'll just drill anywhere or do anything. To try to be somewhere in the middle of that, where you have a rational and cautious approach that doesn't get into risks that are less likely than being struck by lightning And this is mirrored in safety laws and policies sometimes - with very banal regulations for some things and totally feckless ones for others - you could be one to expose that. Just don't expect to do so and don't come in like some crazy guy because it might actually be perfectly safe.
  4. yeah, thanks for the supportive post, it means a lot. You're right, and I don't got time for this **** anymore. Go **** yourself OCD.
  5. So, for the longest time I had nothing, zero OCD symptoms whatsoever (that would clearly impact on my life). Whatever little thoughts that did arise were quickly forgotten about. I don't know why, but I started thinking lately about how horrible it would be if I got this OCD back again, how it could ruin my life, how I might never be happy again... and then it happened. Once the fear takes over, it becomes a continuous loop. What a horrible, horrible condition.
  6. When I was growing up, I feel like I had some kind of abnormal behaviour/thinking like that though I never actually hurt animals as far as I know. I think that the dog we used to have was on to me, just from various cues, and in some ways repaired this behaviour by me by forcing me to behave. He was scary sometimes and could snap which really hurt, so you couldn't get on his bad side.
  7. yeah that's it exactly (I'm a he though). I can understand how it might be taken the wrong way. I definitely don't mean expressing it to others, I clearly said for yourself and nothing about others. I also don't mean consciously doing it. What I mean is that you know how you can get addicted to pain? Could it be for some reason that this flood of anxiety is on some subconscious level similar to that in some sort of way and that's why a part of your brain is bringing it on? And you also get the sympathy from yourself of "why does this sort of thing happen to me, it's not fair". It's just a thought, I'm not saying this is how it is or anything. Sometimes that idea sounds strange to me as well but other times, I wonder. I think oetegenn1976 knows what I mean.
  8. This is just a thought here, and I'm not sure it's worth even making this topic. But is it possible that we might use OCD in a way to feel sorry for ourselves? Or to excuse ourselves from not doing certain work or performing at a certain level? Or maybe to distract us from the harsh outer world? I know myself how strong and how "physical" OCD can get, but I can't understand the root cause of it. It is the weirdest disease.
  9. I would say googling is more addiction than OCD. It would only be OCD if... I don't know... for example if you HAD to check every result on the first page or something like that. There's no way that everything that people do a lot of when they know they shouldn't is OCD.
  10. I know exposure is reasonably well established, but I am still fairly suspicious about it always being a good thing to do for OCD. It seems better to me to just try and look forward, not try to upstage real situations with really extreme ones. Even if that appears to work at first, maybe it's just because compared to your exposure the real life one seems minimal. So are you going to continue to do the exposure therapy for the rest of your life? However i am glad if it works in some situations.
  11. I know what you mean. Sometimes I've felt like some kind of strange swallowing machine that did nothing else in life.
  12. But how can you accept that for the rest of your entire life, you may be sitting/standing/running/climbing/kissing, thinking about when you're going to swallow, blink, breathe next? How could anyone accept such a thing?
  13. Hang on a second, you can't tell others about what difficulty a certain type of OCD is for them. I've been under the impression that this is the WORST form of OCD and I've never experienced another type of OCD really badly... it all depends on the individual. Maybe you can say that for most people this OCD isn't that bad, but we're all different. For me this can sometimes be an absolute nightmare. OP, I really don't know. It's really just bizarre. I had it mildly when young, then I forgot about it for years. About five years ago I got it extremely badly, and it seemed to go away gradually over a few months, and I could even consciously talk about it and it wouldn't be there. Then around the middle of last month it was suddenly back again with a vengeance. I don't know what to say, but I think anxiety and stress has a lot to do with it. It's important to note that this isn't just about some ever-increasing psychological feedback loop "don't panic => panic", it's far more complex than that. It's really about stress hormones and anxiety. There are times when I'd be thinking about how unfortunate I was to have the problem with the usual stress going through me..... and even while I was thinking that I had not actually been thinking about my breathing or swallowing at all for the past ten minutes. So it's a pretty WEIRD thing. I think us OCD sufferers are sensitive and tend to panic vastly more than non-OCD people. We feel like everything is falling apart when it's not. So a soothing voice as in a therapist or just try to reassure yourself and have confidence in yourself more. You're worth it. I understand the horrible irony of breathing exercises that are meant to relax you making you this way. I always try to stay far, far away from those sorts of exercises... though on the flipside some people would advocate exposure therapy. If we think in basic terms.... concentrating on your breathing means you're interested in your breathing right? Your breathing is important, but maybe you need to be more interested in OTHER things and eventually you'll forget about your breathing or swallowing. Trying to dismiss breathing or swallowing altogether probably is not the way to go as we need these functions. Filling your conscious brain with other stuff rather than saying the motor stuff is "wrong" seems the best way to go about it. And it's a known fact that this OCD stuff can morph from one thing to another easily... so it's not the target of the OCD that's important, it's the relieving anxiety that causes it in the first place. There was one experiment done on mice where they put them through a lot of hugely stressful situations and the mice predictably got extremely anxious. However then they took away all such stimulus and guess what? The mice didn't suddenly lose all their anxiety, the vast majority of it stayed, and they seemed to start seeing things that weren't there and continuing to panic even when there was no danger. So it might be that your brain almost "wants" to panic and is finding something to panic over. The mice didn't go from being in an extremely anxious state to suddenly being all relaxed and calm, they were still very anxious for a long time afterwards. Eventually by being in a calm, serene setting, they finally did go back to normal again.
  14. I feel like I've been given the cold shoulder a few times from therapists also. I think it's very unethical for them if they're trying to pick and choose clients.
  15. In the past while, I've learned that it's rarely a good idea to shield yourself from true information. The mirror displays true and accurate information. You can't be scared of it, you have to face it. Otherwise you are living in a dreamworld of your own making. Just don't reaction in a massive way when you see yourself. Of course it's easy for me to say this when I don't have this form of OCD.
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