PolarBear

I absolutely agree with McW's post above. Every last word of it. Howard, you spend a lot of energy trying to convince people your compulsions are merely sensible precautions. You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig. You said something in your latest post that if you presented a container of toilet cleaner, we'd get rubber gloves, etc. No, we wouldn't. I certainly wouldn't.

You won't find your way back if you spend all your energy convincing yourself your problem is something other than OCD. Before I sought help, I spent 10 years looking for someone, anyone, who had the same screwed up thoughts as me. I read every OCD book I could find. I scoured this forum, other forums and websites looking for a perfect fit. I never found that person. I did eventually realize my search was just another facet of the evil that is OCD. You are constantly seeking reassurance. You either want someone to agree you have some other mental disorder or you want someone to say some magic words that will convince you, finally, that your problem is just OCD. That is a compulsion; an OCD compulsion. Compulsions don't work. They only keep you stuck, right where you are. So long as you keep down this path of denial, you will remain stuck. The good news is that you don't need to be completely convinced your problem is just OCD to start treating it as OCD. Nothing bad will happen to you by treating your problem as OCD.

Suggesting a sufferer do a major compulsion is not going to help the sufferer.

Because you are filling your mind with thoughts about your current obsession. There's probably not a lot of brain power left for everyday things when you ruminate about obsessions.

Nor should you. It would be a compulsion, which will inevitably send you further down the rabbit hoe.

The reason this seems more and more certain is because you do compulsions. You're looking for evidence. You're constantly thinking about it. You keep it top of mind. Leave it alone and it will seem less certain.

Alinora, I took simonsky's previous comment to mean they are trying to regulate breathing when confronted with a trigger. That would be a compulsion. I now see it could mean trying to calm down due to anxiety, which is understandable. Mindfulness is wonderful. Please don't stop.

You don't need to regulate your breathing. At all. Doing so is a useless compulsion that just keeps you stuck.

Hey, it's all normal with OCD.

At this point, you're just asking for reassurance. It's a compulsion and it will only keep you stuck. You've got answers. Now it's up to you.

It's not that you're spending money. It's that you are wasting money. You waste money replacing things that are perfectly fine, that anyone else wouldn't consider replacing. You need to come to terms with reality. First, that your world does not need to be whatever you think perfect is. Second, that all this replacing is a compulsion that ultimately does no good. Sure, you might get temporary relief when you replace something, but soon enough another fake problem arises and off you go again.

But still nothing. At 13 you're stupid. You're wiser now. Let it go and move on.

Excellent.

Okay, just curious. It's possible you have Order and Symmetry OCD. It's a theme, like Harm or Contamination.

Phi, this might sound odd, but do you line up cans and boxes in your cupboards?

I haven't been participating that much on your threads lately, kc, because I've been feeling a little uncomfortable. Now I know why. It's OCD and you've been seeking reassurance, but selectively. You exhibit the very common cognitive distortion of black and white thinking. "It must be this way or no way at all." Calling on only the bears is a compulsion. Thanks for being honest. I'll let others help you to change your thinking patterns. I cannot, as I won't help you with your compulsions any longer.

Thinking about this, I wonder if it's a form of reassurance seeking. If a sufferer got a great piece of advice from someone in the past, maybe they would seek more of that out in the future. Just a thought.

@KCbell92, snowbear literally said to practice, practice, practice getting your mind onto other things. That's it. That's the advice. Maybe you want someone to walk you through it, holding your hand, but we just can't do that. You have to take some responsibility. About @McW's post, this is absolutely how I feel. There are so many awesome people here, who offer outstanding advice. When you call out @snowbearor I, you are subtly telling everyone else you don't care about their advice. You are also putting pressure on us to solve your problems and that is not fair. Please rethink doing this.

Snowbear literally told you what to do over her past couple of posts.

Leave it alone. Stop Googling. Get on with your day. Best advice I've got.

But why? Why is it so important that your slabs match?

There's looking for certainty, a hallmark of OCD. Life is not certain. Over time, you can become okay with that.

Typical OCD. Overcoming it is fairly simple but it's really hard to do. How about this: Every time you feel like you have to go over the scenario, wait five minutes. Just five minutes. Curse, scream, sing fa la la, whatever. Then do your compulsion. Do that for a week, every time. The next week, wait ten minutes each time, for a whole week. Then 20 minutes for a week. Every week, delay your compulsion by more. What happens is you reach a delay length where, by the end of the delay, the urge to do the compulsion has gone down so much that you feel like you don't need to do it. Then you celebrate!

Sorry to tell you that if you don't get a handle on this, you're facing a lifetime of new, disturbing thoughts. They'll keep coming, so long as you respond to them your same, old way.

Why do you think the stones must be perfect?