Suzi Q

Thank you for the advise, I'm trying tell myself it's ocd and not reality, not easy when it's a top trigger.

Hi guys, A big trigger for me is hospitals and Dr surgeries, as I once read about the germs (like MRSA) that Drs and nurses carry on their clothes and hands. On Monday my little girl had a Dr appointment and the nurse there kept playing with her hair and rubbing my arm, which sent my ocd crazy! Now I'm feeling really on edge about my house (and me) being contaminated as my daughter was playing on the sofa when we got home. It's been 4 days now, and the anxiety hasn't calm down, I cry, feel nauseous and find it difficult to focus on getting on with my life, and ignoring the ocd. I know I shouldn't be asking for reassurance, but could really do with some rational thinking before I go crazy! Thanks.

Hi PottyMummy I am a mum to a three year old and I have the exact same fear as you, becoming a mum has changed the way I view life. That uncertainty you talk about is driving me insane and consuming my every thought (and life!). I would love to find a way to start enjoying my life with my little girl. I think the first step is to find the right therapy to help deal with the thoughts. Just just wanted you to know you're not alone. Feel free to PM me anytime, I know how lonely and exhausting it can be! x

Hi guys really in need of advise. After quite a stressful day, I came home to find a dead pigeon lying on my patio in a pool of blood, (it must have flown into the glass doors), if this wasn't upsetting enough, a hawk spotted it and made it it's dinner, dragging it around the garden. The bird is now lying on my lawn and its freaking me out. I actually have no idea how a "normal" person would deal with this, let alone someone like me who has major contamination OCD! there is no way I could go out and pick it up. I'm also upset because I can't see myself feeling comfortable letting my little girl go out to play in the garden now, with the blood everywhere. The way I see it, I wouldn't let her play anywhere that there was raw meet and blood, so this feels no different to me. Sorry for the horrible content of this message, but I didn't know who else to ask in this situation, I feel awful, it's making me feel really nauseous and sending my OCD crazy. Any advise or thoughts would be really appreciated.

Thank you for your response Ashley, lots of great info there for me to think about. I don't think I'm getting good cognitive therapy, or enough of it, because I feel like I'm in the wilderness when it comes to the ERP stuff! Since using this forum, I think I have a better idea about what to look for in a therapist, it's something I need to look into. Great photo!

Thank you for your response PolarBear. I agree, I am overly careful, the hurdle I'm having with the therapy, is that my motherly protective instincts kicks in, and I feel I should be protecting my child, instead of using her like an exposure test and putting her at any risk, even a small one. I understand no one can ever be 100% sure, but I could never forgive myself if my child got ill because of my exposure therapy. I think this fear is something I have to really work on somehow, because it's causing me so much distress. Thanks again

Just a quick question Ashley, you say it was the feeling of discomfort you were afraid of, how could you have been sure that putting your hand in the toilet was safe, if let's say you then put your hand in your mouth or ate something with your hand. I ask because like most OCD sufferers, I'm not sure what is discomfort or what is a safety issue, in this situation I would worry incase I then went on to give my little girl a biscuit with my toilet water hand! Lostgirl, I too have had a bad experience with an intensive course! I think intensive courses don't give your brain enough time to process the information you have learnt. Hope you find a good GP.

Thanks guys, the thought of mould on my hands was freaking me out, but I'm trying not to think about it and move on from it.

Hey, this might sound like a bizarre question, but I don't know who else to ask. I have just taken out some toilet rolls from a new pack, and they seem to be covered in mould! My ocd is not allowing my brain to think rationally, my thoughts are mould is not safe, and the thought of the mould on my hands is making me feel anxious. Should I throw them away?

Hi snowbear, Thank you so much for your response, I found your post so helpful and I agree with both the points you made. You have giving me a lot to think about and lots of useful information. I will show it to my therapist and see if we can work through the issues. Thanks again

Thank you for your response ashipinharbor. I'm hoping this is one of those cases where I have to go through the difficult/painful stuff before it becomes easier!

I was talking to my therapist last week about my biggest fear which is loosing my little girl (the reason I worry so much when she gets poorly). My therapist told me, the reality of life is that these things do happen, and parents do loose children. I understand this and I agree it is a horrible reality and there are no guarantees in life, but this therapy session has really affected me, it has left me in tears all week, feel like I can't breath and I want to spend every minute with my daughter. My anxiety is worse this week, I feel like I'm constantly waiting for something awful to happen. Is this a normal reaction to therapy? I'm not sure if this is classed as ocd or anxiety. I would be grateful for any feedback. Thanks

Thank you for the reply storm. The way you described the first 4 yrs, is what I'm going through now, it really takes over the enjoyment of motherhood! Glad to hear the way you respond to your daughter being ill is improving. I agree, the ocd is harder to tackle during challenging times and lack of sleep! I think finding a therapist who can help me work through this anxiety is important. Hope your daughter is feeling better x

Thanks Jessie, I really appreciate you sharing your experience. It helps to hear what other mums go through. I think it's a good idea to be prepared, so I won't be caught off guard. And accept that children will get ill! I need to approach it in the calmest way possible and hope that my brain will comply! I never imagined having children would be this scary! xx

Hey Jessie Thank you for your reply, it helps knowing that you went through it too and it's not so bad for you now, (and that you've dealt with chicken pox! a fear of mine at the moment!) My brain ALWAYS goes to worse case scenario! I need to learn to differentiate between anxiety and reality. Thanks again xx