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Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and explaining how that works for you. I can completely relate to all you said about how your OCD works; I too have found that any tiny crack of doubt will be exploited and then turned into an extremely likely, almost definite probability and not the opposite. I find on my better days I have moments of clarity where my rational brain has kicked in and I can almost, not fully yet, but almost see these thoughts as what they truly are - irrational and excessive but then during the bad times where my irrational brain has kicked in it’s easy enough to forget that. So I think that the techniques you describe could really work for me. Like you said it would be important not to use it as a crutch and end up caught in an endless loop internally analysing and debating if, as is the trap with OCD, but I think it would help just to know that it’s there. My psychologist has discussed with me ‘where is the evidence’ and ‘what is the more likely outcome’ so I might ask her about this as well. Thank you again, it’s really appreciated!

I don’t think I really consciously fought it but I did find that my OCD themes tended to change and evolve over time. However at one point I hit rock bottom with it all and was in a very unhappy place in life in general. I completely changed my career direction, started exercising, eating better and I found that gave me new drive and direction and whilst I still had general anxiety the OCD subsided for many years. Of course it came crashing back when I was the happiest I had ever been, just to try and sabotage it all. This is why now I’m determined more than ever to get it under control for good, learn the skills I need for when ‘spikes’ crop up and also manage the warning signs and red flags that can lead to spikes in the first place, (tiredness and stress definitely contribute for me!). I know I’ve got a looooong road ahead but I’m finally receiving professional therapy. Just reaching out and admitting I had a problem was one of the hardest things but I’m so glad I did. Hope you manage to get this under control too

I think the thing with this is that everyone’s different OCD theme will generate ‘threats’ that feel extremely real to them as if they have a high likelihood of happening. Yes viruses cause illness but realistically whereas it’s unlikely that someone will get a serious illness that they’ve been worried about, it could possibly happen. But most people don’t spend their time worrying about it as it doesn’t protect from or prevent an illness. It’s OCD that amplifies that threat. I suffered from contamination OCD for a long time (10 years+) however all of the worries that took over my life don’t worry me now anymore than they would worry a non sufferer. For example I was terrified of inadvertent HIV transmission from a rogue needlestick injury (it was amazing where my mind could find potential hidden needles!). Now I could touch dried blood and not freak out. Sure I’d go straight to wash my hands thoroughly, as would anyone else, but then I wouldn’t give it another thought. However now my OCD revolves around responsibility and a fear of inadvertently causing harm to complete strangers and so now I find *that* the hardest as the overwhelming guilt and uncertainty means that I punish and berate myself endlessly. Someone who worries about contamination, or any other theme, would most probably think I’m just being silly, have nothing to worry about and that their concerns are much worse. It’s the same condition really, it’s just all perspective.

Hi all, thank you so much for your replies. I’ll definitely speak to my therapist about all of this, at the moment I’m not receiving any ‘therapy’ as such as she didn’t want to start whilst I was pregnant or still getting used to a new routine with a new baby but she does want to do EMDR with me as she thinks that will benefit me. However we have been talking things through and through this have uncovered a lot of deep rooted core beliefs that are fuelling all of this. She does tell me to a) try to resist ruminating compulsions as much as possible through distraction and b) challenge the thoughts by asking where the evidence is. She has mentioned accepting and building up a tolerance for uncertainty but this will take a while for sure. I am trying to label concerns as just an ‘intrusive thought’ and trying to stop my mind running away with these. I am also working on her advice to try and be kinder to myself as pretty much all of my thoughts end up in me berating myself and requiring me to act 100% perfectly all the time and avoid all and any situations that could potentially harm or affect someone else. DC, I like your suggestion of writing down the logical assessment and using it to remind yourself. Is this an assessment of the more likely outcome of the scenario as opposed to the OCD fuelled, assumed catastrophic outcome? Thanks again everyone!

I’ve always suffered from responsibility OCD in the sense that if I think I’ve made a mistake, no matter how small, I’ll obsess over the potential catastrophic consequences of it and ruminate/replay the scenario over and over in my head. I’ve been learning to keep this in check with the support of my counselling psychologist. Lately I’m finding that I’m starting to doubt my own memory of things (mainly when it comes to driving), wondering if something bad happened that I’ve missed or if I’m mis-remembering things. It’s always after stressful scenarios ie someone came shooting out of a side road the other day so I had to brake and go around her. I know the road ahead was clear but afterwards I started doubting this and wondering if I nearly hit a car etc. This memory doubting is something I’ve never done before and I think it is due to amplified stress/tiredness as I have a newborn baby who hates being in the car at the moment and it’s virtually impossible to not have a physiological stress response to their cry! I don’t enjoy driving at the best of times anyway so when something happens on the road that I have react to I’m already in a heightened stress state. Unfortunately this situation is not always avoidable as I have to drive to nursery/medical appointments etc. so i’m just looking for advice on what is the best way to deal with these ‘memory doubts’ when they crop up? Thanks

Dksea’s response here is perfect; I deal with this sort of OCD and all the accompanying mental reviewing, doubt and assumed guilt and it’s exhausting. This is one of the best explanations for dealing with uncertainty that I’ve read and I needed that right now so thank you.

I’m currently 38 weeks pregnant and recently my OCD symptoms have spiked a lot, it’s making me feel really unprepared for everything and very anxious. My OCD predominantly revolves around hyper-responsibility/inadvertently causing harm towards others (mostly total strangers), and a complete intolerance for any mistakes I think that I’ve made no matter how minor. My symptoms had been playing up over the last month or so anyway but then they were spurred on by the fact that in the last two weeks I’ve had 2 minor scrapes in the car, one in a car park and another during a 3 point turn. Driving is a trigger of mine anyway; I always try to be so careful and aware and this is the first time anything like it has happened in 18 years of driving so I can’t believe it’s happened twice in such a short period of time. Because of this I’ve lost a lot of confidence in myself as a driver and have stopped now for the remainder of my pregnancy as asides from the fact I’ve apparently lost all sense of spatial awareness it was just too uncomfortable anyway. I’ve found it really difficult to not beat myself up endlessly to the point that it’s keeping me awake at night and it’s causing me to drag up and rehash old obsessions where I ‘might have’ done something wrong. I’ve been seeing an excellent psychologist who is really helping me to understand my thought processes and addressing the underlying issues/core beliefs, but I’ve not had an appointment for a few weeks and have my last this week until after the baby and when things have settled down. I felt like I’d been making really good progress but as I’m reaching the end of this pregnancy I feel like now I seem to be taking steps backwards again. The same thing happened at the end of my first pregnancy as well with symptoms suddenly spiking and I wonder if it’s down to hormones or if it’s natural for anxiety to play up before big life events. It’s just getting me down as I just want to feel excited and as relaxed as I can before our impending arrival but OCD always seems to have a way of creeping in at the worst times. If anyone has any advice or experience I’d really appreciate it! Thanks for reading

Oceanblue have you tried Headspace? I've been using it and at first I was a bit cynical but I've definitely found some of the techniques really, really useful. One of the techniques 'noting' is a way of labelling thoughts, feelings and emotions as they pop up and the more you practice it the easier it is to do. Over time it means you're able to almost separate yourself to the thoughts by just acknowledging them and then moving on without reacting to them. Another tip my CPN suggested is to think of the mind as a teflon pan, let thoughts come in but don't let them stick, just imagine them sliding straight back out again. I find that helps sometimes too. Don't let the thoughts beat you, don't fight them but don't react. Easier said than done, I know that all too well, but it's true! Good luck

Hi Oceanblue, I just wanted to say that I've read your posts and I could've written them myself. I have exactly the same thoughts, and then the feelings of doubt and guilt that creep in making me think my worries were right, feeling that I don't deserve to be happy and enjoy things and even the trying to address the issue and get it sorted in my mind just for it to pop back up again. I've been trying to not give into it and using mindfulness techniques suggested by my therapist to try and manage the anxiety which is definitely helping and works for a while but then I still end up reacting to similar 'threats' as they arise, I'll think I could have possibly inadvertently caused harm or upset to someone, and then I'll end up bringing the old worries up again. I'm on the waiting list for CBT which I know won't be easy but am hoping it will help by giving me some tools to deal with these thoughts. I have also downloaded the Break Free from OCD book which I'm reading through and is definitely worth a read. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone with this but I'm sure we can get it under control with a bit of work!!

Ah that's interesting Carol, maybe it's starting to be used more for other issues then, and not just personality disorders. Hopefully it helps your son too!

Ahh I see! That makes sense. Well that's good, even if it just gives a head start before CBT that's got to be a win!

Oh erk that is definitely not me. I'm definitely one to 'do things by the book' although not quite to the extreme of not wanting to make my own decisions. Well it's still very early days with the CPN but so far the empathis has been on mindfulness practice, distress management and challenging my beliefs about things i.e. evidence based fact vs thought based opinions. So I guess I'll see where it goes, she does seem to understand where I'm coming from and how my mind works which was somewhat reassuring. At least the CBT is in place for if this doesn't quite work

The Daily Mail has (in the past) been a major contribution to my anxiety but since I've realised that a lot of what they publish is usually hysterical scaremongering based on distorted information I just automatically discredit it now. I just wish I'd learned that years ago!

Thanks for your replies. That's what she said, that hopefully she can tailor it towards my personal problems and if it helps then great but then if not at least I'm on the list for CBT. What kind of techniques are used in DBT? Ive had some info about it but not much. I've read that it was derived from CBT style techniques so I'd be interested to find out how it differs!

Has anyone had DBT for OCD or anxiety and if so how did you find it? I've just started seeing a CPN who specialises in this whilst on a waiting list for CBT with a psychologist. I know it's usually used for people with personality disorders but she said that a lot of the techniques can be used for other conditions. I've looked into it and read that it has been used quite successfully for OCD and anxiety disorders so I'm keen to hear from anyone who's been through this treatment before and how they found it. Thanks