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Sputnik

Bulletin Board User
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    88
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About Sputnik

  • Birthday 02/05/2000

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Sufferer
  • Type of OCD
    Fear of contamination, and various others.

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Devon, UK
  • Interests
    Miniature model making, jewellery-making, reading, sewing, caving, Star Trek and Doctor Who!

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  1. Hi Musicmatters, I'm sure lots of people have had these kinds of thoughts, I definitely have, but it may just be that it's not easy for most people to talk about them, either because they find them too distressing to put into words or/and because they fear that going into depth about them may only encourage them to obsess over them more. Also it's not always beneficial to group 'types' of OCD together, since all OCD-sufferers are experiencing the same disorder, just with different thoughts/themes and compulsions Not that there's anything wrong with wanting to hear from people who can relate to and understand the particular themes you're going through, of course! Just that going into details may not necessarily be helpful for some people, at least that's my interpretation. Supporting fellow sufferers and being supported is always useful, but it can be tricky not to kind of pull others into your own OCD cycle without meaning to, if you get what I mean? I can totally relate to these types of thoughts, I've suffered with them on-and-off for years. Sometimes the thoughts don't bother me at all, other times they threaten to drag me into anxious turmoil. But I'm getting better at not giving in to their demands
  2. Of course it is, that's the difficult part People wouldn't struggle so much with OCD if you could just cast aside the thoughts without any effort.
  3. 100% agree with gingerbreadgirl here. There are so many threads on this forum like yours, and so many people are terrified and convinced they're bad or have committed a crime/misbehaved etc. I've been there too, (and still am sometimes), and I know how much it feels like the OCD is the truth and the people around you don't understand, but trust the advice people here are giving you, cos they really do get it
  4. Attempting to 'prove' your actions is another compulsion. You'll never reach a definitive answer that way, or through any compulsions. There is no way, or need, to prove it. You just have to take a leap of faith and trust that this is all OCD, and you haven't done anything to be ashamed of. OCD will always try to convince you your fears are true (as well as convince you that you don't have OCD at all), but it can be disregarded, with the effort of not engaging in those thoughts and compulsions I know it's really hard, but if you can give it a go you might find your anxiety shifts slightly, and you feel a bit different? Then you can build on that gradually. Just a thought
  5. Exactly - for you it happened, because you have decided that's what happened, in accordance with your OCD fears of doing those things. That doesn't mean it actually happened in reality. I get these sorts of thoughts a lot too - did I touch someone inappropriately? Did I misbehave? Did I say something offensive? Should I confess to doing something wrong? It's all OCD. The very fact that you're scared about this is proof in itself that you don't want to harm anybody No matter what your OCD tells you.
  6. This is all OCD. You've created a reality that complies with what OCD tells you, rather than looking rationally at things. That's what OCD does, it blows everything out of proportion I know you think you must have done these things, but really they're just thoughts. Thoughts are not the same as actions.
  7. It's your OCD telling you there was something you did that was wrong. Have you had a look at this page of the OCD-UK website? https://www.ocduk.org/ocd/types/. Scroll down and click on Intrusive Thoughts, and then Sexual Intrusive Thoughts. You might find it useful. 'Confessing' to someone about your OCD obsession is a compulsion. There is no need to carry it out or to subject yourself to any punishment, you have done nothing wrong. Intrusive thoughts are a normal part of life, the difference is that an OCD-sufferer will latch onto those thoughts and believe them, and do everything in their power to not commit them in reality, whether that's through feeling intense anxiety and/or shame, avoidance, mental checking, ruminating or all manner of other compulsions or attempts to reassure oneself. Say, for example, I went to post an important letter. On the way back from the postbox, a thought pops into my head: 'What if I didn't put it in the postbox, but I actually put it in the bin nearby?' A non-sufferer would likely think, 'No, that's unlikely.' and forget about it. An OCD-sufferer would be more inclined to think 'Oh no! I must have binned it accidentally!' and ruminate on it, go over and over their memory of the moment of posting the letter, maybe go back to the postbox to see if they can see it, and perhaps create a false memory that they did indeed put the letter in the bin instead of the postbox. An ordinary, every-day activity has become a subject for intense anxiety and checking compulsions. Carrying out compulsions only strengthen your belief that you must have done something wrong. There is nothing to be gained by doing them, for you or for anyone else. As for your second question, what you're describing are Triggers, which bring on the Intrusive Thoughts - you see or hear about children, and your Intrusive Thoughts about them become more intense. You feel even more anxious and try to work out if they have any meaning. This spurs on the anxiety. And so on. I know how hard and scary and exhausting OCD is, and I'm sorry you're suffering With the right approach, you can overcome it and not be bothered by intrusive thoughts in the same way. Have you given the OCD-UK website a good look-through? Lots of very useful information there. I hope this is of some help!
  8. It doesn't matter what you've done in the past - the point is that you feel bad now. Wouldn't it be useful to talk to someone? We can't help you any more than we have already. There's no point going round and round like this.
  9. But what about just having someone to talk to? So you don't feel alone with your anxiety?
  10. We can't give you an answer. Only advise. As for therapy, I really think you should look into getting some sort of support that way, regardless of whether you think it's OCD or not - at this point, the main thing is that you're under a lot of stress and anxiety, you can't sleep, etc, which you have a duty to yourself to address :) A professional can help you do that. Just because the first three times were 'ineffective' doesn't necessarily mean anything - anyway, I thought you said after the third time you did feel an improvement for a while, even if you then relapsed. Some people are in therapy a long time before they start to be able to really use it as a tool. That's OK, it's just how it happens sometimes. Please give it a try. Doesn't matter if it's OCD or not, therapy has the potential to be helpful if you let it :) Even if it's just a safe place where you can let off steam!
  11. That is a very common OCD theme (and one I am personally very familiar with). It might sound unusual, but actually you hear it a lot from many OCD sufferers. It's still OCD. Allow the thoughts to come and go, without dwelling on them. They're just intrusions and don't reflect on you as a person.
  12. We've addressed this before. You need to take our advice on board, the sooner the better.
  13. (Sorry for double-post, I got confused!) I have had similar themes to this and I have felt (and still do sometimes) that I don't know if they really are OCD rather than the truth. But I go with OCD, because all the symptoms point to that as being far more likely than the latter.
  14. It will come back up. When the thoughts come up, you don't have to ignore them, just accept they are there, notice them and let them go. Then when it comes up again, do the same thing. Don't pay them any more attention than that. No ruminating over whether or not they're true, or carrying out compulsions like looking online. Turn your mind to something else, or do something that might help distract you. Trying to ignore or push away thoughts will probably only make them bob up again more determinedly - you need to show them they don't matter :)
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