Bev53

And it will get easier every time you do it. You've been struggling for a long time so change is not going to happen quickly, but every step forward, no matter how small, is progress. Don't be disheartened, and don't feel bad for slipping back into old thinking habits. You have evidence that not giving in to the compulsions works, and is the right thing to do. Keep positive, and keep trying, you've got this.

Hi Charlotte, Well done for persevering with CAMHS, your daughter is lucky to have you fighting in her corner, even if she maybe currently doesn't appreciate it. Venting is good if it helps you feel a little better. It's really tough when no one seems to be listening and you're not sure where to turn for help. I really hope CAMHS can get a treatment plan in place to help your daughter. In the meantime take care of and make time for yourself. I know it can be hard, but you're in the best position to help her when you keep yourself well. Wishing you all well

I know therapy can be expensive but if it's the right therapy it seems to me it could save you money in the long run. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, I really don't mean it to be, but it seems you've already spent a lot of cash unnecessarily, and could yet spend more. Maybe the therapy would be a better place to consider spending the money.

How did you get on in therapy? Have you more sessions planned?

Hi PemB, To be honest the ones I tried did all impact on my sex life, but some to a lesser extent, and like you I was concerned this would impact on my relationship. That's not to say it would be the same for you. However this was an issue too before taking the medication, as my head wasn't in the right place to be bothered about a sex life, and with the medication my head was more keen but my body was unresponsive! I was lucky enough to have a very supportive partner, and we got through. With regards appetite, my appetite generally decreased on all the ones I tried, which just shows we're all different. Despite this, they really helped me get to a better place, and in my case I'm not sure I'd have got to where I am today without them.

Hi PemB I know where you're coming from. I have been on a few different SSRI's and experienced similar side effects to yourself. It's worth talking to your GP as an alternative SSRI may not affect you in the same way.

Many medical professionals recommend maintaining medication alongside therapy as you may find it easier to engage, and therefore the therapy more effective, since they 'take the edge off' the anxiety as you describe. When I was on an SRRI my GP advised me not to rush to stop taking them when I started feeling better. Its easy to think we're OK when in actual fact we're only ok because of the medication, if that makes sense. I'd also agree with others comments that it is best to taper off, if deciding to stop taking them. SSRI's don't help everyone, but they obviously helped you. With likely a combination of medication and the therapy, you CAN beat this.

Hi Charlotte, My son was 19 when OCD reared it's head and even at that age I found it so hard NOT to give reassurance. No parent likes to see their child at whatever age, getting distressed. Unfortunately as you are finding, no matter how much reassurance you give it is never enough. With your daughter being only 13, she will likely be referred to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) and I'm not sure what current waiting times are. I think whilst you wait for therapy, all of you learning as much as you can about the condition can only help. You are probably already aware that the recommended treatment for OCD is Cognitive Behaviour Therapy(CBT). When my son was under CAMHS when he was a similar age to your daughter (for anxiety...which we now know was OCD) they used a lot of CBT worksheets from the getselfhelp.co.uk website. It may be worth a look on there. There is also lots if information and book recommendations on the main OCD UK website. I'm sorry I can't offer further help, and hope you get some support soon.

Hi, I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time. You don't mention whether you have or are having any therapy? I don't think medication alone is sufficient, but medication along with good quality CBT should help. I think most areas of the UK offer a self referral service, used to be IAPT but I'm not sure what they call it now. Unfortunately there are usually long waiting lists, and quality of therapy seems to vary wildly. Private treatment can be expensive, but with a good therapist you're likely to feel you're making some progress more quickly. Sorry if you know all this already. I know it's not easy but try not to overthink and give in to the thoughts, the more you 'feel the fear and do it anyway' the quicker those fears will diminish, and you can take back control of your life.

Hi, Rumination is a hard one to stop as we're often well into it before we realise we're actually doing it. Like you I've found TV or reading a book is often not sufficient at keeping my mind occupied. I've found exercise and/or getting outside helps, going for a walk, and trying to be mindful of it, taking pleasure in nature, fresh air, night skies...whatever. If that's not possible, is there anything you could do alongside the TV? A jigsaw, crafting puzzles books? I like to crochet, and find doing that whilst watching TV adds another layer of concentration so its easier not to fall into the rumination trap. A phone call with a friend or family is also useful in breaking the cycle, enabling me to refocus on the here and now. These are all things that have helped me.

Almost everyone has intrusive thoughts, with OCD it's not the thoughts that are the problem, it's the meaning we attach to them that then creates the anxiety. Perhaps the lack of anxiety is a sign you're on the right path in being able to dismiss the thoughts as nonsense. Not sure if I've explained that too well, sorry, but hope that helps.

Focus on the first part of your sentence, and give yourself a pat on the back rather than beating yourself up. You've been giving in to the compulsions for a long time, it's become a habit, and just like any other habit, we can't always explain why we do something the way we do, we just do. Change is not going to happen overnight, but today shows you can make progress, keep at it, you're doing great.

Hi, I'm sorry if you are upset. I'm not great with words and can perhaps come across as blunt sometimes, but I don't mean to be. I'm sure that's the case with some of the replies you've had. Ultimately to beat OCD we do need to stop the compulsions, I'm not saying that is easy, and I don't think anyone else is, but it is the case. Personally, I sometimes need reminding of this as I get so bogged down in the emotion that I often don't even recognise my compulsions. When we're in the middle of an episode it's hard to see the wood for the trees. Also, I think it's hard to express tone and emotion in a message and I am frequently guilty of reading more into a reply than I should. Often in text messages from friends and family, I think someone may be a 'bit off' with me and worry I've done something to upset them. I haven't, it's just me overthinking a classic OCD trait. Hope you're feeling a bit better.

All sounds like OCD to me. I believe people have already mentioned scrupulosity to you.

You have two choices: 1. Confess to your wife about your 'terrible' (in your head) behavior. You feel better for all of 5 minutes that you've 'come clean', your wife is upset and angry, and guess what? RESULT: You feel even more guilty. You're no better off and your wife now feels rubbish too. 2. Continue to work on stopping the rumination*, again, and again, and again! It doesn't have to be automatic. You did something you now regret, shrug it off, get busy with something else. It's not easy, but it is possible. You know it, you've managed it before RESULT: The more times you can successfully shrug off the thoughts, the sooner you'll be out the other side. *There's a recent post on the topic of rumination...have a look at that for tips on quitting.

A house I lived in 15 years ago came on the market, I looked it up. I wanted to see what it looked like now, see what had changed if anything. Didn't mean I wanted to go back there, just natural curiosity. Do that this time. Let it go and get on with your life.

Bottles (green)

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Hi, I wasn't sure where to post, the 'Getting the most from the forums' seemed the obvious place but I can't seem to start a new post there. Is it (or could it be) possible for users to pin an individual post within a thread, for their own personal recollection. Since joining the forums, when I have come across a particular piece of advice or explanation that resonates with me, and that I may need reminding of, either currently or in the future, I sometimes take a screenshot. Sometimes this requires 2 or 3 pages of screenshots and it can get muddled. I could bookmark the page but that then requires searching the thread for the particularly helpful post. Similarly using the forum search option often throws up too many options, and I struggle to find the content I am looking for. I just thought that if it was possible to pin an individual post it would enable users to build up their own little self help library more easily?

I think it can be both. When I have a lot to deal with, be it work, family, just general day to day life that gets busy, and I'm tired, OCD can raise its head. When OCD is at it's worst I find the effort to stop doing compulsions mentally draining and exhausting. The only suggestion I can make is self compassion and care. In both cases I try to rest and give myself a break.

Hi, I'm sorry to hear your family is struggling so much. I'm not sure I can help too much, but just wanted to let you know you are not alone. When OCD first impacted on our family I felt exactly the same and didn't really know where to turn. The main OCD Uk site has lots of useful resources and some self help book recommendations. I think whilst waiting for therapy, learning as much about the condition and what to expect from therapy can help. We found Break Free from OCD particularly helpful in explaining the disorder and how certain actions such as reassurance are unhelpful in the long run Hopefully someone with more experience than I can offer further advice. OCD impacts the whole family, please make sure you are also looking after yourself. Wishing you well.

Hi, The main OCD UK website has advice on finding a therapist. As a starting point they should be BABCP registered..meaning they are qualified in CBT. From there you can usually find out more about each therapists areas of expertise. The advantage of online therapy means you don't need to look in your immediate geographical area. Maybe talk to a few over the telephone first with your daughter if you can, to get a feel as to whether they sound like the right person to help. Unfortunately private therapists also can have significant waiting lists too. Good luck.

Hi sorry to hear you that struggling. My sons OCD reared it's head in his final year at uni. As @Pmacsays I think the stress of his final year and the desire to do well brought it out, however we soon realised he'd had it probably since childhood. He had a couple of weeks at home but then chose to go back. His university was aware of his struggles, as were his room mates and close friends there. We also found a therapist closer to uni than home, and he had weekly sessions. We're fortunate that he has always been very open with his struggles. He checked in with us most days, and I was confident that he would shout out for help if it all became too much. There's no doubt that it wasn't plain sailing. He had some very tough times, but with the support around him he managed to complete his degree. I personally believe had he been at home they would have been just as tough, if not more so, as he would have had less to occupy his time. You don't mention whether you are having therapy or whether you have a good support network at uni. Without that I'm not sure that I would have been comfortable with my son going back.

The link from the website that you posted contradicts your original post above. It confirms that physical compulsions are generally present in all of the sub categories you mention, for example googling, reassurance seeking etc.

I often used to wake up feeling unsettled but didn't really know why. Rather than trying to pin point a reason and analyse why, I've learned to put the radio on, get moving, and get on with my day, the feeling disappears much more quickly when I do that.