Lost222

Thankyou for all your replies x

Sorry for the slow response to all your messages to my topic on medication. Thankyou everyone. I was sectioned on the 12th April because my OCD gave me fears of going into hospital and as I was close to dying at home due to a gut condition, the crisis team felt sectioning was their only option. Although as the weeks have gone on whilst here in hospital I have discovered that the psychiatric team think I have an eating disorder and my weight loss and food allergy symptoms are down to choosing not to eat or vomiting. It has been a very draining time with having to not only handle my OCD with being in hospital as I hate toilets & have fears of being dirty but having to try and convince the medics (gastro & immunology & psych teams) that I’m not making things up, has been hell. So sadly with the section I had no choice but to take the olanzapine. I’m only on a very small dosage so have only had headaches as a side effect, in the past I was on Fluoxetine and sadly my ocd got worse to the point where I took an overdose, and therapy or CBT never seemed to help. Here in hospital I’m just trying to take each day as it comes and trying the best I can to work around my fears

I have just been forced to go on Olanzapine for my ocd. (My ocd is about feeling dirty all the time). The psychologist wasn’t even an ocd specialist, I’ve never been a fan of medication, CBT or therapy sessions as never found it worked for me and last time I was on SSRI’s my ocd got worse & I also ended up trying to commit suicide. Just wondered if anyone else is taking Olanzapine for their ocd or what meds are you taking? Any side effects, changes, helped?

Has anyone been on Olanzapine to treat their ocd? My OCD is to do with feeling clean rather than germs, I’ve always been anti-meds as have been on SSRI’s before and had no benefits but only got worse. I also find therapy and CBT not to help either but I’ve been forced to take Olanzapine now, so would like to know what side effects to expect?

Do you mind me asking what your rituals are?

Hi BigDave, Sorry you are cursed with these thoughts, I have fears of feeling dirty too. The only way I can ease my anxieties is wearing gloves a lot of the time. As a female it’s hard to relate to you on the going to the toilet standing up, but does sitting instead help matters? Can you keep the toilet seat down when you flush? And not make eye contact with the toilet Once you’ve peeed so you can almost move on from it. when I was well enough to work, and used public toilets I used to squat over the toilet but always felt dirty so showered once I got home and put on fresh clothes, in my head I just accepted that I was dirty during the day and clean once I got home. nowadays it’s more the hand washing and surfaces which I have to clean lots for me to feel clean. I really hope that your mind can ease from all these thoughts, it can’t be easy.

It’s reassuring to know how many are out there really struggling with both OCD & IBS. So many times people have said to try meditation, but I’m sure I’m not the only one who doesn’t find this method of relaxation beneficial in helping OCD or IBS. When I’m anxious it’s because there’s something that feels dirty & I need to clean it. I can’t relax until it’s done, if I were to lie down and listen to a meditation recording I can’t focus on it because all my head is thinking of is, what needs cleaning. Ashley, Your Alpha-stin plan to help the anxiety sounds quite similar to something I looked into years ago. It’s deep brain stimulation surgery, like the Alpha-stin it’s not easily available but I’d be interested in finding out from you if you go ahead with trying it and the results. Deep brain stimulation still needs a lot of research on benefits and I think there are a lot of bad side effects to having it. But I do wonder when would be best time to use Alpha-stin? As by the time I’d sit down and use it I would have finished my cleaning rituals and wouldn’t be as anxious. But like you I am desperate to cure my gut issues, but then I know a lot of my gut issues are down to the food allergies rather than solely IBS. It’s such a nightmare, and I’m sure the constant thoughts on why all this is happening to me.

Hello thanks again for your reply to my post, i currently see a dietitian, immunologist & under GP monitoring because how weak my body is. Sadly though there is no nutritional supplements i can take or even tube feeding because of the allergy ingredients, so its a case of living off the rice porridge everyday. I really wish there was so solution or answers but all medics for over a decade have said there’s nothing that can be done. Honestly i’ve pleaded & begged for something, anything but there isnt anything, My mental health is at a low point through all the gut & knowing that my body will just fail at some point. I’m 39 next month and hate that i havent got a future but feel helpless. I know my depression isnt helping my OCD, as that feeds off negative emotions. I always try to make changes to the OCD though but life does feel a constant battle.

oh Mark, I feel your pain and anxieties. I dont have contamination OCD but do have an OCD that is quite similar in that I always feel dirty so spend my days cleaning everything I might have touched or my Mum (who i live with) touches.and handwashing although i have managed to get down from 30 handwashes over 6 years ago, i am now only washing my hands twice and with normal hand wash rather than anti-bacterial handwash as I was finding the harsh chemicals splitting my skin and causing them to be red/sore and bleeding like yours. But although OI have made some positive changes I still struggle to ever feel clean and do wear gloves throughout the day. I didnt get along with therapy or CBT but i hope that it will help you, i only found my Dads words helpful in telling me that if you wash your hands well the first time then there's no need to keep repeating the hand washing. I also got in contact with this professor in America who wrote a paper on how anti-bacterial handwash was no more effective than normal soap and he also did studies into amount of times, water temp and washing duration. I've popped the link of his paper below. But if you or any other readers want a more detailed study paper then please message me and i can forward on the pdf I've also listed some great creams to help repair your hands which you may want to try. Although I'm not the greatest of inspiration as still a mess, you can always contact me directly if you like for support whenever things get tough. Its always nice to have someone understand what you are going through. Take care of yourself, Sophie https://www.medicaldaily.com/why-you-dont-need-hot-water-and-antibacterial-soap-wash-your-hands-418366

Thanks Hal, it just seems I’ve tried everything with the diet in the past and as allergies have got worse I can now only eat a diet of rice flake porridge, rice pasta, carrot & pea puree. So its a bit of a groundhog, but then OCD is groundhog isn't it? i’ve tried numerous dietitian’s, specialists etc but there doesn't seem to be much hope out there. i just wish my OCD wasn't there in my head to make my life a tiny bit easier & less exhausting.

Thanks for posting your replies, I just dont know how we can ever shut-off and cure IBS though. I have another gut/cell disorder as well which causes food allergies to everything so living off a diet of rice flake porridge and unable top breakdown solid foods so my mental health is at an all time low as now too unwell to work with the gut disorder and body is at a very low weight so I have been told I'm going to die early with my heart failing because its so week. Yet there is nothing the Doctors can do, so i have no future and with how my OCD is i feel life is just so pointless. I have no purpose in life. I know my emotions are probably not helping my gut disorder or any IBS related symptoms but what am i to do? why do i exist? i hate waking up each day People say "have you tried therapists/talking/hypnotherapy etc" but none of that works because my gut disorder is still the same and my OCD thoughts never go away. How does anyone ever get out of a hole?

I’m just wondering how many OCD sufferers also have to deal with IBS or other gut issues? I know anxiety plays a big part on your gut, but how can we ever relax when our head’s never stop worrying?

It’s reassuring that I’m not the only one who suffers with this type of OCD. I too spend ages cleaning myself with toilet wipes, baby wipes even using bathroom cleaner & bleach on me after using the toilet, I have to shower too & not wear clothes plus always wear gloves. I have managed to cut my hand washing down & like CharlieMoon said, it does over time become the norm. I’m yet to feel less disgusting & dirty though. my OCD isnt about germs but more about constantly feeling dirty. I wear gloves all day and have to antibacterial wipe everything i have touched each morning so its clean for the day. The only way i managed to reduce the cleaning items is rationalising in my head that i wear gloves anyway so i wont be touching dirty stuff. But my head is so messed up & hate that it takes so much of my life. Its horrible that we have to suffer like this. if you ever want to private message me for support i’m always here for support.

Yep, when I get really anxious my chest pains start. My Mum also suffers from them when she is stressed or worrying too much and she doesn't suffer with an OCD. I get all the other symptoms too and as we speak feel nauseas with a tight chest because trying to handle my OCD thoughts. Its horrible, I often feel like I'm going to explode

Its really strange you mentioned about the flashes & brain all hyperactive, since I was a child I’ve experienced the same thing. Usually when lying in bed, I always described it as similar to the scene in “Charlie & the Chocolate Factory” movie when they’re on the boat on the chocolate river & everything around them speeds by. I always brushed it to one side and not tried to focus on it but maybe there is a link between people with OCD & how we overthink things so much our heads are constantly on overdrive & when we try and relax we just cant. Just a thought. Nice to know not alone though