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AnonGirl

Bulletin Board User
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  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

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    Female
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    UK

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  1. I definitely experience one dominant theme which feels like I'm climbing a mountain all.the.time but at least 3 sub-themes which are more under control and I can easily dismiss their tricks!
  2. Oh yes I get this sooo much - it is a question of willpower, even when you don't feel like it, to resist those compulsions. My biggest one is asking my boyfriend for reassurance and I literally have to force myself not to text him, even whilst crying my eyes out and then being really strict in not engaging with the questions my OCD throws at me. It is SO HARD but I try to remember that when it feels hard, those are the moments I really have to stick with it as they are the times I will grow the most. But, man it is T.I.R.I.N.G and so is ERP but GO US ALL
  3. Just wanted to say well done Nikki!! I've been reading your threads and cheering you on from afar! xx
  4. Hi Dollface, Yes, I completely get this too and it is the worst! Sometimes I find myself being able to just 'look' at the intrusion (if that makes sense) without anxiety and then that makes me nervous - or if I thought about it for more than a second, it means I liked it. I'm not explaining myself very well but - yes I totally understand what you mean! But, the work is to try not to go down that rabbit hole as it will only throw up a million more questions. Keep going xx
  5. Hello! I know what yoy mean about some thoughts seeming to linger longer than others rather than it being a quick flash. I found this article about attention VS awareness really helpful for those ones that are constantly in the back of your mind https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/awareness-attention-distraction-and-rumination/
  6. OH you poor thing @Vintagegirl123, it sounds like you have really suffered with this for a long time. I would encourage you to do some reading about OCD (for education purposes, not reassurance!) and then look into seeing a therapist who can help you. There are many of us here who totally understand how you feel; the constant rehabilitating anxiety, compulsions, exhaustion and yet still have heavy doubt and shame. You're right when you say that words won't heal you - make sure you get a therapist who specialises in OCD as talking therapy/counselling will not help this condition (although may prove useful for other things at some point!). It's a change in behaviour to break your current cycle, even though it feels incredibly difficult, that is the key to freedom. Small steps, you can do it
  7. Just to say that I'm starting with a Clinical Psychologist next Monday at 7pm - I'm relieved yet scared at the same time!
  8. Hi Estelle, It sounds like you're doing a great job to me if you're doing better at resisting the urge to do compulsions - well done!!! As for your anxiety being higher now, I haven't started my treatment properly yet so can't speak from experience, but it seems legit to me that once you cut our your usual coping mechanisms, it would go a bit AWOL. I say you're a badass and you should keep on keeping on!
  9. I'm fortunate to be going privately so hopefully it won't be too long a wait! Hope your CBT is going well!
  10. Thanks you @malina! I have had about 6 months of counselling but my current counsellor said this week that I probably need to see a Clinical Psychologist for some more specialist treatment. I think I've know that talk therapy doesn't work for OCD for a while (but it wasn't wasted time as we did sort through some other stuff which I'm grateful for) but it has just felt a bit raw as we fully realised this week. So, I'm just doing some research at the moment and have sent a few emails to people so hopefully I'll be in the right treatment soon! I have wonderful support in my family and boyfriend, plus I'm a strong Christian so am looking forward to getting better ?
  11. Hello all, I’m new here even though I’ve been reading threads for quite a few months now! I’ve struggled with OCD intensely at certain points in my life (without really knowing what it is) and lockdown has caused it to run amok and has totally floored me. I’m interested to hear if anyone else does compulsions pre-thought/image? Like I’ll suddenly become very anxious that I’m about to have an intrusive image so I deliberately have it but then say ‘NO’ or my boyfriend’s name or something to neutralise it. Can you get intrusive reels too? Sometimes it feels like a 3 second film rather than a flash thought which, again, makes me feel guilty that it could be me. It makes me feel ashamed because it then feels like I’ve had the thought, even though the purpose was to try and get rid of it. Does anyone else feel shame at their compulsions? I also find it really difficult to have conversations/Zoom meetings as I have little tics to get rid of the thoughts like shaking my head or saying neutralising words and I’m just really tired!! Anyway, I’d hadn’t seen examples of what I’ve described above so wanted to see if I was the only one! Keep going all!!
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