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Anonanon

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  1. Hi all I have been suffering from pocd since 4 months. I sometimes fear that i do something horrible and then forget about it completely. I was not going on internet in order to maintain my sanity. But today i went and surfed about this problem. I found something called "Unethical Amnesia" and it really got me scared. I know that alot of times i do forget small things or thoughts that are discomforting. But is it possible that i forget really morally unethical things i did or do. Can someone please elaborate this unethical amnesia thing?? It really shocked me to the core.
  2. Hi all I started having groinal responses ( such as tingling or a feeling ) when my ocd started climbing up. But for past few days, they have gotten more frequent. They happen any time and i start to doubt myself whether i am gonna touch someone inappropriately. Sometimes even when there is no one in the room with me, i get these responses. Today, i was on phone completely lost in my thoughts, suddenly the response happened and i unconsciously moved to a porn site. Now i fear that these responses truly are signs of arousal and i may do something bad unconciously. I cannot differentiate whether my arousal is true or not.
  3. Hi all This is a genuine doubt and i just want to know that how should i deal with it or is it normal Some thoughts or ideas may not cause any anxiety and some cause tremendous pain. I am sure that i dont one neither of them. I want to do neither of them. But it confuses me - does the first one(no anxiety) means i am in denial of this idea and like it. How do i know that this idea is not in my nature and does not signify my sexual inclination. This confuses me. Thanks in advance
  4. Hi all I was having sex with my gf this weekend and suddenly an image of my baby cousin crossed my mind. I felt like i was thrusting harder when this thought struck. I dont know... Was it to get rid of this thought or because i wanted it in my mind unconsciously Is it normal for people to experience this...
  5. Hi all How could i join this zoom session or get updates about it
  6. Hi all Sorry for writing again but this time it was a complete defeat. Something wierd happened and it really ****** me. My baby cousin ,with whom i have a fake memory. Please refer this link. So she came to my house, i was tensed a bit. A lot of intrusive thoughts regarding so many things filled my mind. But i easily ignored them. I was feeling so proud of myself. We played , talked and fought. I called her petty names and irritated her. My favourite thing to do. It was going well. But i was still worried about my memory. Before leaving she waved bye. But suddenly she said something that zhook my whole reality. She naughtily said , " you did not do right with this child" and hid her face. I asked her ," with whom". She hid her face grinning. Her parents and my mom laughed at this and she left. But i was shocked to the core. I started crying immediately. Nothing inappropriate happened today but i got so scared. Did she remember something that i fear i may have done Or Is it a sign from the gods, that i have done something bad with this child or some else child. My mother told me that she has a history of saying uncomfortable and spontaneous things like this. Even i know of her this habbit. I relapsed so hard. All the progress i have made till now has gone down the flush. My memories are now flooding my mind and i am so confused that it is killing me. I have been crying continuously. What does this mean....
  7. Hi all thank you so much for all your help. I am late in my response but I want to inform you that since the day i posted, i felt free from this OCD web until now. So that was a win. @discuccsant Your hard approach always seems to work on me . Thnk you so much for always being there @Dakagraphics-David Thing you just said makes a lot of sense and i do think that god is the kindest soul out there. Now, i dont ask for forgiveness compulsively and just pray at the start and end of the day.
  8. Hi all Recently i started having intrusive thoughts about god, although they were disturbing but i managed them. But suddenly yesterday, i encountered a thought so vulgar and gruesome that it shattered me. I tried to avoid it as much as possible but still can't do it. It is coming back to me again and again. The more i try to let it be , the more it changes forms. It feels like i am the one helping this thought go further. It causes me great distress. It is making my life hell and i fear divine punishment. Should i just ignore this thought or should i stop this thought whenever it tries to come forward or should i try something else Because i tried both these techniques - no help. Please help.
  9. Thanks a lot for your help @snowbear In this problem , we cannot even trust our own body. But only thing i can do is sit back and watch all these things go. I am trying to do ERP at my home and i think this is the first thing to overcome -Uncertainity in my body symptoms.
  10. Hi @snowbear Thanks for your reply I know it might seem like reassurance but believe me when i say that this is a genuine doubt. I feel that my gut is doing so to tell me that my thought maybe true. That i may have done something in my 17s that is unspeakable and forgot about me. This heart pain used to happen earlier in the same way. But it subsided for some time. But from yesterday, it has returned back. Can we trust our gut and heart in OCD.
  11. Hiii all I hope you all are fine. I am taking therapy now and it us helping me alright. But i just came across a doubt that is sticking with me. I suffer from various themes of ocd and my worst one is pocd and false memories. This theme was on hold for some time but it relapsed just yesterday. Although medications have controlled my physical symptoms but they come along sometimes. This morning, my mind was flooded by these thoughts and it was killing me. I controlled and controlled. But suddenly , a memory struck me. I know nothing of this sort happened but still it disturbed me. It started as a mild one and then kept on changing forms . My heart palpations started slowly , peaked and then suddenly declined. Same with my gut. Unfortunately, i went on the internet. They told me if gut feeling is instantaneous than it means it is true else it is anxiety. It disturbed me further more. I just want to ask - Should i really trust my gut and heart on this one. Please help.
  12. Hi again Just a question, can intrusive thoughts happen in anger as well. Alot of times earlier, whenever i was angry or irritated on a female character in tv or real life. I used to have a really sexually intrusive thought about them. It used to get me really anxious - instant regret and guilt. But I used to move ahead without making a fuss about it - "it is just a thought" But today, while having an argument with my mom, my anger peaked and i had that same thought. That very second i stopped it. I did not even let it complete. But the damage was done. It was really painful and stressing. I know people have a lots of violent thoughts while angry but not even in my wildest dreams i could say something like that to my mother or anyone else. If it was any normal occasion, i would have dismissed this as obsession. But it happened in anger. Is this an obsession or some other issue??
  13. I started it just 4 days back. Fluvoxamine and etilaam. But my symptoms got worse. 😫 I cannot sleep properly, whole day seems depressing. Doctor is saying that it will take few weeks. But is getting really hard.
  14. Hi everyone I am posting here again since new symptoms have arose. I just started my treatment with psychiatrist and am on SSRI and sleep inducer. But with this medication i am suffering from insomnia. I go to sleep at 10 and wake up around 3:30. After that , I try a lot to sleep but the sleep is not REM and it is just an unconscious state. I wake up agin and again. This is where my hell starts. I dont know why, i start thinking about all the obsessions i had in the day and unconsciously start doing my compulsions. I dont remember how it starts, i just remember mentally or physically reviewing them and suddenly fighting them. All this happens in a sub conscious state. Even in my dreams i am fighting. This is getting really hard day by day. I assumed my symptoms would settle down after medication but this first week is going like hell. Can anyone relate or guide me on this subject. Please help.
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