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Hi everyone, I haven't posted on this forum in years but I'm really struggling and so I'm back. Basically, I have had to travel for work to a tropical country and it's kicked my OCD into overdrive. There risk for Malaria here, healthcare is really bad, and there are creepy crawlies everywhere. I am so paranoid about getting Malaria, even though I'm taking all the precautions one could take. I am scared I'll get sick and be sent to a hospital here and then die. I have sprayed my room with insect repellant and I started to have a bit of a reaction (my breathing is very sensitive so I had a bit of trouble breathing) now I have the idea in my head that I've poisoned myself and that if I stay in this bedroom tonight I'll die. I have been talking to my boyfriend who is trying to be supportive but is getting worn down by this. I'm going home in just a few days after an extended period here and I keep being scared that something will happen to me to prevent me from going home. I know this is OCD, I know this is irrational but I can't take anymore. I'm completely worn down, I haven't been able to sleep for a few nights now and I'm exhausted. I just sat in my bed and sobbed and decided to post on here in the hope that someone will read it and have some encouraging words. Thanks. 

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Well, look, spraying a pesticide in your room probably wasn't the best thing to do and it was certainly a compulsion, which isn't going to positively affect your mental health.

Air out your room. Easy enough.

Then  try to get your mind onto something else. It's a short term problem now do you just have to make the best of it. No Googling about pesticides and malaria. Stay away from that.

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PolarBear, Malina said she used insect repellent, not a pesticide. My mum has asthma and she uses it all the time. It's a sensible precaution in countries where there is a risk of malaria (although usually sprayed onto the body or clothing). It's not the insect repellent that's the problem, but OCD.

Malina, I have this kind of obsession too, so I can imagine a little of what you're going through. You've done very well to travel and stay there. :thumbup: As PB says, try to get your mind onto something else. Read a book, watch videos, listen to a podcast, do some puzzles - whatever will grab your attention and shift your focus. The panic will subside eventually. You can do this. :hug:

Things always feel worse when you're tired too. I hope you manage to get some sleep.

Edited by Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze

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Be proud of what you have achieved. You’ve gone abroad to a country that has these issues for work and spent an extended period of time there. 

There are risks with everything we do in life. You have taken the necessary precautions. 

Imagine the memories and stories you will be able to share on your return home.

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