malina

I think you've experienced this stressful situation of being suspended and now you're OCD has kicked in and is trying to convince you that you have put yourself at risk in your job again. What you're doing isn't going to help unfortunately. It's understandable that you want to figure out whether you have actually said something bad or not, but the reality is that you have to let this go and move on. You won't be able to figure it out, this is OCD and it will always leave a trace of doubt in your mind and the more you try to figure this one out, the more new situations OCD will introduce for you to worry about. Just try to accept that this situation has been caused by OCD and try to stop ruminating over this, just go about your life and your job like normal.

Hi lonelygirl, I work with children too and it can be quite tough when you have OCD and are responsible for the wellbeing of someone else. But look, you have to have trust that your worries are OCD and not reality. Also, even if you did say something bad in front of the children, it's not the end of the world. They will hear these things eventually anyway!

Hey GBG, I've been dealing with a little guilt OCD of my own today and am reading through your thread here for some of these really helpful suggestions. One thing I've been thinking about is whether guilt in OCD is even genuine guilt. For example, when I feel guilty about having hurt someone, I have the need to confess that to my partner or my family, not to the person I've hurt. If my partner gives me reassurance and says it's okay, I'll feel better and not feel guilty about having hurt that other person, even though I've done nothing to make amends to the actual person I think I have hurt. This makes me think that I don't actually feel bad for the thing that I did, I only feel bad because I have OCD. So confessing or trying to make amends is pointless because the guilt itself isn't real guilt and so there is no solution to it. Then there are situations where I do feel genuine guilt and I can tell that it's genuine because I feel it as I'm doing the bad thing or immediately after and I have the opportunity then and there to correct things. I just saw this as an argument against doing compulsions like confessing, because they aren't genuine behaviours to correct a situation, they are just symptoms of an illness that are actually removed from the event that we think we feel guilt for. I don't know if this makes any sense at all or if it is the right way to look at this, it's just a thought I had.

Me too!

I was just thinking this too actually, I don't know how supplements could interfere with medications, but if you do take any it's always best to double check in my opinion.

Hi Skippy, I've never taken Omega 3 but I do take supplements like vitamin D and iron (because I've always been low on both). They don't help with the OCD but they really do help keep up my immune system and energy, which contributes to my overall wellbeing. I think having the basics like your health and diet in a good place can really help battle OCD, even if it doesn't have a direct impact.

Hi Leif, I think that it's pretty easy to start feeling demoralised along the way. You are working hard and this stupid disorder keeps throwing stuff at you and sometimes it's hard not to just feel like you've had enough. I think you should be gentle with yourself here, acknowledge that you are trying and that there can be good and bad days. Just because you are feeling demoralised now doesn't mean that you won't be feeling better in a few days time. This is so true. I was talking to my therapist the other day about how OCD is trying to make you see danger everywhere and you think that you have to have a plan B ALL THE TIME in case something happens. But you don't, if something bad happens, you can think of a plan B then and there. So yes if you get sick, it'll probably be fine, you'll get help and be okay. We have to learn to live with a little risk. This is absolutely another thing I can relate to, this fear of not being okay. My OCD was at its worst when I got diagnosed, so I had no idea what OCD was or that I had it. When I started treatment, my therapist told me that it will never be this bad again and now in the midst of a relapse I see her point. Sure, the OCD may go up and down, but over the years you learn A LOT. All that learning doesn't simply disappear, you are equipped with more than you may realise. Also, if things do get worse, you can always get help (just as with the fear of contamination). There is therapy, medication...it has helped you in the past so if things get worse it'll help again. Hang in there Leif, it takes time and you can do this!

I think it can also simply take a person a long time to understand and identify the mistakes they are making. I had CBT 10 years ago and it helped, at the time I thought that I had it figured out. Only now, looking back, I realise that I was still doing a lot of things wrong (ruminating, checking, testing), but didn't identify it as such. So now I'm trying to change my ways yet again and maybe in a few years time I'll look back and realise some of the missteps I'm making now. It's also complicated that OCD can take on different forms, I had a lot of the stuff with intrusive thoughts figured out, but I never realised that the anxiety could manifest itself through physical symptoms, which absolutely threw me off when it did happen and I had no idea what I was dealing with. Ultimately, we are dealing with a chronic condition and symptoms can re-emerge, so I think a big part of recovery is learning to manage them when they do. I don't think that I have ever felt demoralised in the 10 years since I've been diagnosed. I always wanted to get better and believed that I would. The problem was that at times I just didn't know how.

DK, you need to stop putting yourself down all the time. I bet you have a lot of skills and abilities that many people do not. You're at uni, that is a bigger deal than it may seem to you. I personally think you should apply for that job, you can't let anxiety dictate your life. Keep your head up x

Hey efes, I get you, the recovery process can feel incredibly frustrating when you are trying and yet the anxiety is still there. I feel the same way a lot of the time. What I'm learning is that you just have to keep going, keep moving forward. It just takes time. I understand this too, but I think that after prolonged stress, it's natural to feel like you've shut off, I sort of think your mind is trying to protect itself from feeling all this negativity, so you end up feeling nothing at all. This is kind of where I'm at a lot of the time and not sure what to do about it. I just try to take it a day at a time and relish in the good moments when they come up, hoping that they will be more and more frequent.

This is so true! Statistics cannot tell you what the outcome will be for a single individual because so many factors come into play. Statistics can also be very misleading, these things can depend so much on how the question is asked and when, how exactly do we define 'recovery' and when exactly are we asking people if they have recovered? In any case, it's like that with most things in life, you just have to follow your own path and do your best!

I understand it's really hard to stop worrying, especially if you're not seeing a therapist yet. But you just have to stop actively doing things that will make the OCD worse, like trying to recreate it in your head. You are allowing yourself to focus way too much on it. Premonitions are not real, they simply do not exist. You know that these doubts are OCD, you even say so yourself. So when they appear, label them as such and try your best to move on rather than actively focusing on them. Sure they may come on their own, but by actively thinking about them and trying to figure them out, you're making yourself feel worse.

Phil, you just have to STOP analysing. Stop thinking about this image, it's just random nonsense in your brain. You are making this worse, you have to see that it was just an intrusive thought like any other. I know the anxiety is high and you need help, but for the time being don't make it worse for yourself by analysing and overthinking like this.

Hey Valamist, I have harm OCD as well and completely relate to your problem. To be honest, the thoughts come and go, I have seen my thoughts go away and then they returned and went away again and so on. They do also come up in stressful situations, my dad had a cancer diagnosis several years ago and that really flared up my thoughts, so it's understandable given your situation that they may come up again. The most important thing is to stay calm and not let them overwhelm you. I don't see a reason to tell your mum this right away, see how you get on managing this by yourself first. It seems like you've got a good handle on them at the minute so no need to make a big deal out of it. If you start feeling overwhelmed at some point, deal with it then, there is always help available.

That is great!! I think that in CBT you'll learn how to manage your OCD, rather than looking into the past for answers. The first ever therapist I saw (university counsellor) told me that I was having thoughts about harm (my main problem in OCD) because I was dealing with grief from when my grandmother had passed away 8 years earlier. No mention of OCD or any kind of diagnosis, I don't think he would have even recognised it. Needless to say, talking about my supposed grief and late grandmother did not help the intrusive thoughts go away and I was incredibly lost until I got proper help and had CBT. I hope you find it helpful too.