malina

Harm OCD was my main theme for years. It’s really hard but, first of all, you definitely won’t do anything! Compared to other obsessions OCD, I learnt that this one is actually easy to learn to navigate with CBT. Don’t avoid the triggers, let the thoughts and feelings and horrible urges come, don’t fight them but just get o with your day, you will be very anxious but the anxiety will pass. Just ride the wave and don’t let this nonsense take over, trust me I threw away years of my life on this and it’s pure rubbish!

Hey @Hurting I've read this whole thread and I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you're going through such a hard time. I don't have much advice to offer beyond the great things that everyone else has told you but I just wanted to send a your way and tell you that you're not alone. I once read this story about a woman with OCD who was saying that she has spent her life in fear of many different things but the worst thing that had actually ever happened to her was the OCD itself. That really resonated with me a few years ago when I was scared of developing some incurable illness (I am perfectly healthy btw it was all OCD) and read on a forum where this man who had this illness and OCD said that, yes the illness was tough to deal with, but the OCD was much worse. Whatever bad thing you're scared is going to happen to you, this what you are experiencing now, is the worst thing that can happen. But unlike many other bad things that happen to us, you actually have the power to change this one. I'm not saying it's easy and it won't happen quickly, but it can and will get better. Who cares about the horrible things others have said to you in the past, they are words that belong to the past. What you choose to do is the only thing that matters, so heads up, stop putting yourself down and keep fighting. You can do this!

Hey @Itsoknottobeok I don’t think I have ever read the instructions for laundry detergent, I always just put in whatever I think looks right. You might have sensitive skin but I’ve never heard of someone overdosing on detergent. I’m incredibly clumsy, I break things all the time, walk into things, spill food as I’m cooking. I have left the oven on by mistake, I leave food on the stove and forget about it at least once a week, I am pretty sure I have inhaled bathroom cleaner becuse I feel dizzy after cleaning the bathroom sometimes. Once our fire alarm was low on battery and started beeping at 3am when I was home alone, I have no idea how to turn that thing off so I started hitting it until it stopped, I could go on and on about how careless I am and yet I’m alive and well! You’re being too careful! Nobody reads instructions for laundry detergent. So, your skin was burning a little, we have reactions all the time. What I’m trying to say is that you’re beating yourself up over being “irresponsible” when you are being more responsible than most people out there, and it’s harmful to you. Allow yourself to make mistakes and see that nothing is going to happen. Even if a bit of hair falls out, it’ll grow back! Please take care and stay strong! Breaking up with a long term partner is so hard but you’ll get back on track!

I don't understand. You got a hold of them and they helped you order online? So did you buy the iPad? What are you worried about?

They are just OCD, not delusions. I think, as hard as it is, you need to practice not responding to them. When we respond, we go into a spiral and leave room for the other ones to come in. You just have to stop taking it all so seriously and stop being scared of the thoughts. That is all they are, weird things that pass through your head. It's only when you hold on to them and analyse them and fear them that they stay and wreak havoc. I know this isn't easy, I am struggling to follow my own advice, but this is the way. You just really have to push through it and allow yourself to feel the fear, then it will get better.

I’m feeling the same right now and it’s really horrible. Just remember that they are only thoughts and you’ve had OCD for a long time and haven’t been pushed over the edge. Take it moment by moment, deep breaths, try to divert your attention to other things. It’s so hard but it’s not impossible.

Hey Summer, I hope you’re feeling better today and managed to get some sleep! Sending you another virtual hug Seriously there is no shame in being scared to be alone. When my harm thoughts were bad I was in my 30s and scared to be alone without my partner, even during the day and especially at night. It happens but you can overcome it. You’re doing so well!

In my experience rumination in OCD serves a different purpose than in depression. I ruminate a lot and it’s mostly to try and solve the doubt that arises from OCD. It’s like trying to think yourself out of the situation but you’re actually digging a deeper hole. I think in depression it’s more like dwelling on something. Like you can’t let go of a situation and keep thinking about it to the point where it makes you feel worse. For me it’s typically quite easy to stop ruminating or dwelling when it’s something causing low mood, but it’s very hard to stop ruminating about the OCD because that feels so important and dangerous.

Hey @Simonsky i hope you don’t take this the wrong way but maybe you could try to make light of the situation and even see some humour in these thoughts. I smiled at the idea that nuclear Armageddon would be a solution to the issue with your loft because it’s so extreme that it seems silly. Having an imagination is a beautiful thing. You’re clearly a creative person, maybe you should try to laugh and even enjoy the extreme scenarios your mind comes up with.

Hi @Phil18 I don’t even think there is a person that cancelled your order, it’s probably something that just happened automatically in their system. You don’t need to explain yourself and your OCD. You can just call and say that you changed your mind a few times and the system cancelled your order, they certainly won’t want to lose a customer so they will help you!

A few years ago I had a weird sensation in my arm as I was cooking. Then I thought - what if this is something like MS? Then things got massively worse where I started feeling these weird sensations all over my body, the right side of my body started feeling heavy. I went to see my GP and a physio, all took it seriously and told me I was fine. I didn’t believe them, felt like I was being dismissed, the sensations kept getting stronger and worse. I felt it, so it had to be real! Eventually, I accepted that it was anxiety and, like a miracle, the feelings totally stopped. When you distract yourself and stop thinking about it, your feelings stop. That in itself is proof it’s psychological. Our minds are so powerful and OCD is very good at tricking us. Please get some help for your OCD, therapy is hard but it has to be better than this constant fear

Ok I think you just need to breathe. You're dealing with a lot of things and things like a break up can really cause you lots of stress and make your OCD worse. Take baby steps, you can do it, just make some small, self care plans for each day and keep going. You haven't done anything wrong, going to the dentist is a normal thing, and we have to trust professionals (after we do our due dilligence and tell them about allergies like you did). Just take a breath and try to get your mind off this, even for a little while. Everything is okay.

It is just a plant, but you have OCD and like all of us, it's really hard to see things clearly sometimes. You've chucked the plant now, it's over and done with and you have to just try and move on. Maybe in the future, when you've had your baby (congratulations btw!), and things have settled a bit, you could try doing some ERP to learn to manage these kinds of thoughts, but for now I think you should just try to relax and get the plant out of your mind.

Hey @GreenPumpkin Sorry to hear you're going through this! I think you just need to let this whole thing with the plant go. Please don't fish it out of the bin, it's just a plant! But throwing it away was also OCD, just like feeling guilty about it now is. What was it that bothered you about the plant in the first place?

I talk to my brain all the time, I don't see any problem with that! Ok I like this plan, I can try to do some prep work and have a list of arguments ready to go! Sometimes, when I am really tired, I just think "oh screw it even if it is true, I'll deal with it somehow" and that works too. It is getting easier, I can feel it, but I still have some work to do. Thanks @snowbear!