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I had a massive wave of anxiety over the same obsession I was dealing with last time I posted here, so I won’t name it. It was around 3am last night, and due to the fact I also have occasional sleeping issues (some nights, very rarely, I don’t sleep at all) I believe it elevated this hot, anxious feeling in my chest. It was very unexpected, coming at that time in sleep right before you doze off, so thinking about other things and distracting myself didn’t seem an option if I wanted good sleep. 
 

Regardless, I managed to pull through without doing compulsions or making my night worse, possibly bc I was so tired I couldn’t be asked to deal with that. But I’m still nervous about it happening again. Maybe it won’t as I’ve proven I can resist, but does anyone have suggestions? Maybe I should sleep earlier so I hopefully don’t need to be worried about being hit with it so late? I can’t even explain how unexpected it was, I was lightly dozing and then suddenly realised I had a massive heat/ball of anxiety radiating off me, it was kind of shocking. 

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Posted (edited)

I have another question: how do I actually go about getting help? I want to be referred to someone who knows about OCD but what if I go to my GP and they don’t do that? What if they just send me to someone who knows nothing about it and how it works? I might write out a document talking about my experiences in the hopes they will see I know my symptoms and what I’m talking about. 

My big issue is this: I am currently living in London for uni, but my doctor’s is in my local town where my parents live. So, I will likely have to do it this summer because I can’t currently go back there for an appointment every time I need it, or could they find someone in London?

As well as this, I haven’t involved my parents in my OCD for years now. My dad barely knows about it, my mum does but doesn’t really understand how to deal with it, and when I went to my GP as a teen (with her) to get referred for OCD, I was so scared bc I was being asked to describe the nature of my worries and was so riddled with social anxiety at the time I ended up getting referred to someone for social anxiety and they didn’t even help with that very well! It was also in my hometown where I didn’t go to school so they were asking me to leave school every time for an appointment which was not viable so I had to just quit. Utterly useless, but that’s why the commuting thing is so difficult. My parents will become aware something is up if I commute for something randomly without telling them (say, if I had to constantly go back to my hometown). I could hide it from them I suppose, but even so commuting is so expensive.

I don’t want to involve them tbh. That’s why I was desperate to get a diagnosis bc I thought only then would they take me seriously. I’ve been undiagnosed for 5 years but my symptoms are consistent with OCD and are based around things typical of it. I also had OCD tendencies described on the NHS website, such as feeling like I hadn’t ‘taken in’ what I was reading in books leading me to read passages again and again and again, in my childhood. I tried to get diagnosed via a wellness team or something but they just said they could see about it, and would I like CBT therapy? Well bc of my issue with my parents I rather wanted a diagnosis first, so I asked about that. They said they’d see but were ultimately useless, they just asked me to go talk to a uni counsellor and what will they know about OCD? I wish I said yes to CBT immediately!!

My issues might seem trivial but I’m so upset that something, whether it be social anxiety, parents meddling or making me anxious, or this issue of money + commuting, and having a therapist who actually understands the disorder, is driving me insane. It’s making me feel unable to get the help I need because I just don’t know how. Sorry for the melodrama, I should have asked this years ago and one of you may have given me a kick up the ass about it. 

Edited by Pikachu
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1 hour ago, Pikachu said:

I have another question: how do I actually go about getting help? I want to be referred to someone who knows about OCD but what if I go to my GP and they don’t do that? What if they just send me to someone who knows nothing about it and how it works?

Hi there, I'm sorry you're going through it at the moment. I contacted my GP as first port of call, who then referred me for CBT and to see a Psychiatrist.

The Psychiatrist agreed with the diagnosis of OCD and changed my prescription from Citalopram to Sertraline. I waited a while for the CBT but it was life changing when I did it! 

I'd say make an appointment with your gp, they are all by telephone just now anyway. And next time you get offered CBT, take it. :)

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Okay, I’ll try and do this. I just hope it doesn’t get hard with commuting and my parents etc. Thank you. 

I’m still fairly nervous for my night honestly. I hope I’ve proven I don’t need to do compulsions but it was quite scary to feel so suddenly hot and anxious. 

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Hi Pikachu,

If you're an adult in England then you can self-refer to you local Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) service. If your GP is registered at home then your local IAPT service will be in that area, but as most IAPT services are only offering remote therapy you shouldn't need to commute. Alternatively, you could use your Right to Choose with your GP to go to an IAPT in London. You can find your local service via the NHS database here https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-psychological-therapies-service/

In terms of the skill of the therapist, it really does vary within IAPT. Some CBT therapists are great and know there stuff, others less so, but it's OK to ask to see another therapist if you don't feel like the one you've been assigned will help you move forward :)

I know it's scary to feel suddenly anxious, but try your best to blame OCD and let the feelings pass as best you can, maybe reading a book or listening to some music might help :)

Gemma

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On 10/06/2021 at 09:09, Gemma@OCDUK said:

Hi Pikachu,

If you're an adult in England then you can self-refer to you local Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) service. If your GP is registered at home then your local IAPT service will be in that area, but as most IAPT services are only offering remote therapy you shouldn't need to commute. Alternatively, you could use your Right to Choose with your GP to go to an IAPT in London. You can find your local service via the NHS database here https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-psychological-therapies-service/

In terms of the skill of the therapist, it really does vary within IAPT. Some CBT therapists are great and know there stuff, others less so, but it's OK to ask to see another therapist if you don't feel like the one you've been assigned will help you move forward :)

Thank you, Gemma. I will do this. I’m not exactly sure when, maybe after I get my covid vaccination so I don’t have to get anxious about that. 

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That would only treat the symptoms, not the cause.

Try leading by eating better, no drugs, alcohol, caffeine, 2 hours exercise a day. No stimulants.

Did you know we are programmed for two 4 hour a nite sleep sessions? 8 hours straight was just invented. Early am your cortisol is high too so you obsess more. 

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Hey @Pikachu,

my advice would be to not worry about it. That is how I usually got myself onto a spiral, I'd get a big spike in anxiety that would completely throw me, then I'd think about it and try to do things to prevent it from happening again, but giving it so much thought made it all worse.

Don't change your sleeping patterns or anything else. Just treat it as a bad incident, which may happen again, but that isn't a big deal either. It sucks not to get good sleep, but you'll survive and nothing bad will happen. Take a more laid back approach to it and it'll get better.

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On 12/06/2021 at 01:27, Handy said:

That would only treat the symptoms, not the cause.

Try leading by eating better, no drugs, alcohol, caffeine, 2 hours exercise a day. No stimulants.

Did you know we are programmed for two 4 hour a nite sleep sessions? 8 hours straight was just invented. Early am your cortisol is high too so you obsess more. 

Yeah, I always feel worse late at night so I try not to take anything I worry about at that time seriously. But what would only treat the symptoms, not the cause?

On 12/06/2021 at 11:48, malina said:

Hey @Pikachu,

my advice would be to not worry about it. That is how I usually got myself onto a spiral, I'd get a big spike in anxiety that would completely throw me, then I'd think about it and try to do things to prevent it from happening again, but giving it so much thought made it all worse.

Don't change your sleeping patterns or anything else. Just treat it as a bad incident, which may happen again, but that isn't a big deal either. It sucks not to get good sleep, but you'll survive and nothing bad will happen. Take a more laid back approach to it and it'll get better.

Thank you, @malina. This is effectively what I did, and I’ve been sleeping better since.

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