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Hello and welcome to the forums, This sounds like OCD to me particularly given the other incidents you've mentioned. You are obsessing over your feelings towards your boyfriend... you are doing compulsions.. ruminating is a compulsion... as is the constant checking of feelings, all of which increase the anxiety because you can't find the certainty you crave. Don't go looking for the reactions you want, relationships aren't like this 24/7. In fact I'd go as far to say that the longer you're with someone the less 'jolts' you experience, it doesn't mean your feelings have changed. You need to accept the uncertainty, including the uncertainty that this is ROCD. Hopefully your therapist is offering you CBT with ERP as that is the recommended treatment. Hope this helps.

That is such a stereotype. OCD is a debilitating mental disorder, not a business venture.

Howard, I'm learning regular cleaning. This is 15 minutes a day & once a week longer. Clean wharf used right away. It's how people keep clean houses. I know a gal that has OCD cleaning & has a cleaning business. I said, you do your compulsions all day & she said, yes, & get paid for it.

I'll try again, this time not quoting. I really identify with your second post, MarieJo and therefore find snowbears post helpful. It's really hard to have such strong emotions constantly. So it makes sense to try self kindness, self forgiveness and non-judgemental thinking. I've never thought of it being OCD, just how I was. Give it a go Mariejo and let us know how you get on. Oops I've just seen, realised that this thread is a year old. Never mind.! Night night Hdigtts!

It’s there Louise

I've tried to reply to this topic twice and each time when I submit, it disappears. I wonder if this will disappear.

Again you separate them in your mind as 'actual danger' (real) and 'false OCD' as if it can only be OCD if the danger isn't real. But OCD happens because you're aware of actual danger. There's no difference between 'real danger' and 'ocd danger'. What differs is whether you think obsessively about the danger and behave compulsively to reduce your anxiety about it. The risk is the same, it's your reaction that goes overboard. So when you're asking yourself, 'Can I take a risk with this?' the way to decide is to observe if you're thinking about it a lot and /or doing any compulsive behaviours to reduce your anxiety. If the answer to either of those is a 'yes' then you're in over-reactive OCD mode. That's true whether the danger is huge or small.

Night

That's amazing Summer and sounds like a huge exposure- well done!

So fine art is too controlled maybe, and not true or free expression because it adheres to certain rules and tradition? Is that self referencing? So am I right in thinking that all the traditional great artists were fine artists but the styles some developed eg impressionism or fauvism were actually more free and less self referencing? Ha i love that Maggi Hambling self portrait, all those curls of smoke obscuring the face. Here's her memorial to Benjamin Britain – Scallop 2003

So is cleaning your main obsession? (I don't even like looking at that picture above, I want to virtually clean up). But I actually enjoy cleaning, so back to the title of thread> if you like having a clean ordered environment and you enjoy keeping it at that level of clean then that's okay. It takes my mood down if I feel my environment is dusty or unclean. It's only when my stress levels are high for an extended time it becomes compulsive, repeating just like checking and if it disrupts the rest of your life then it does become a problem. I'm not sure about the list you made there. I think people may use; alcohol, drugs and sex to reduce anxiety and stress. I think that just normal or has become because modern life is stressful. I think over eating, eating disorders may be symptomatic of something, maybe depression. I wonder if over exercising releases some hormones that counteract the stress hormones. But some people become obsessive about that.

Yes I'm getting out as much as possible at present. It's like a sensory feast; all the growth of spring, sun, the sounds and even the smells of plants wake us from our winter hibernation. (Plus I'm doing what I said to Marko and making myself do more exercise). I think it's important (to me anyway) to try to reverse engineer my personality. Family life has a big impact in what they call our formative years. If home life is stressful maybe because of factors like wealth or lack of, housing, combative parents(we absorb the tensions and stresses) and even siblings, etc, all these things increase our stress base line which means that even moderate stress later in life sends us over the top(I'm doing some research into all the biological and psychological effects of that at present, including stress and anxiety levels and how hormones can even limit our ability to think clearly). As my parents never discussed my early life, I had to reverse engineer based on a few sentences. I don't feel angry, or resentful, I just find it helps me make sense of who I am. I knew at the age of five that I just had to keep my head down and get out of there. I never really got the healing crystal idea, but maybe I'm just being scientifically sceptical, but I've been listening to these singing bowls again and the amazingly long lasting vibrations do seem to reduce stress levels. This one is set at the exact frequency for maximum stress relief, 432hz. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keoC-poCEwA&ab_channel=Sound-and-SilenceResonantHealing

I mean the distinction between being aware of an actual danger and a false ocd alarm,

Hi everyone, I'm new here, and I am worried I don't really belong, so I'm sorry if this might seem trivial or misplaced. I think I might have ROCD which I have been suffering with for the last five months or so. I am on medication which helped, but I think maybe it's wearing off as the waves of dread are coming back when I have certain thoughts. Even to type this out makes me feel horrendously guilty but I am hoping someone can help. How on Earth does someone distinguish between having ROCD, and actually falling out of love? I get very distressed when I see my boyfriend and don't feel a jolt of love or lust or serotonin, and it is making me question myself. I am seeing a therapist and am trying to stop probing myself for feelings constantly because my mind will likely 'shut down' or feel it is being attacked. But I feel trapped under a claw that has hold of me and I can't figure out if this is real or not. For the record, my boyfriend is a wonderful person and I don't always feel like this, but when I do it seems very very real and I am convinced everytime - including this time - that this is the time it is real and the end of the road. I am very scared of what this could mean. I've had, I think, other times in my life where I've experienced OCD that I am only recognising now - trying to consciously remember how to swallow so much so that I struggled with solid foods, compulsions that my family would be harmed if I didn't do certain things (I don't experience compulsions now), and even once became exceptionally distressed as a child when I thought positive things about my brother that made me believe I was in love with him. Can anyone help me navigate this? If it is ROCD, how do I know? Is that even something ERP can help with, or do people know other things that have helped? I had been feeling so much better until this last week and now I'm worried I am irreparable. Any help is appreciated - please be kind. Chrissie

Are you suggesting OCD isn't 'real'? You'll find it easier to take the leap of faith if you stop making what you feel a choice between 'real' feelings' and 'unreal' OCD feelings. The feelings are always real, it's the screwed up thinking that makes it OCD, not that what you're feeling is too intense to be real.

But how can I be certain enough to take the risk? How can I take the "leap of faith"? I still cannot entertain the idea that this might be ocd for more than a few minutes. It feels too real. And I don't know how to follow the advice you're all giving.

Fireworks

Definitely. This is the recommended treatment for OCD. Sounds like you're on the right path.

Great Summer !!! Well done

I think of compulsions as coping mechanisms for stress. More stress, more compulsions. Therefore, reduce stress OR find another coping mechanism. One of my first tricks was to go for a walk rather than clean. Walking being the new coping mechanism. I can always wash when I get home. This brings up the question for me on what is a good coping mechanism. People use alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, food, exercise, compulsions. So is someone who washes an hour better than someone who drinks alcohol for an hour? It becomes a matter of too much.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a first-line treatment for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) that uses the exposure and response prevention (ERP) model. However, some people with OCD do not respond well to standard treatments like CBT or medications, which is known as treatment-resistant OCD.

There is one called Driving OCD.

Bangers (and)

Hi thank you so much for your response, yes it can pretty much wipe out my days worrying about these things. The therapy person today mentioned CBT and exposure and response therapy as something to try?

Thank you for your positivity I just had a good look round and feel that I would still like to go along and experience them first hand but as you say, the ability to revisit this virtual tour is fantastic and for me it is very useful to see what I'm up against physically before I go (if I go)). You're right about getting overloaded, and I have the added pressure of feet hurting (I usually want to spend ages on each one to try and take it all in, but it's impossible so I've had to learn to move more quickly) and therefore being able to revisit online is helpful. The Leon Kossoff ones seem more fleshy, less ghostly and elusive to me and therefore more human and relatable tho I do love the mysterious elusive feel of the others.