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  1. Today
  2. I am dealing with a very stressful situation at the moment and I could really do with some support or advice from fellow sufferers. A very close friend of mine died today. I cannot even find the words to describe how sad I am. Of course losing a loved one is enough to cause a huge amount of distress anyway but adding this on top of the ocd... I'm sure you understand... I feel very selfish for what I'm about to write and I hate myself for experiencing the feelings you'll read in the next lines. But I have to do it because I'm not sure how I can cope without support. My friend's funeral is in two days. As I currently live abroad, I need to travel in order to tell her the last goodbye. The problem is that I suffer from contamination ocd... Airports and planes are my worst fear. I consider them extremely contaminated and I feel that I can "see" the germs. And then I feel that I've transferred the germs wherever I go after landing. For this I avoid travelling as much as possible. I'm crying as I type this but due to this fear I haven't been able to visit my family for 1,5 year... Thinking that I'll be travelling soon...it's a crippling fear...not sure how I'll deal with it. I'm not even gonna go into the details of my contamination ocd as I know you people understand how the simplest things can seem impossible for an ocd sufferer. I feel so guilty and selfish for thinking about such things during this time. What kind of person worries about how dirty their plane seat will be when they've just lost a loved one?!! I feel horrible for thinking about myself at this time and I hate that I can't help it. I'm just lost for words. Sadness, guilt and ocd are so mixed up at the moment that I don't even know what I'm crying for anymore.
  3. Yesterday
  4. Fibromyalgia is just a diagnosis of exclusion- so it basically means that a patient has unexplained distributed pain and/or fatigue so it's not something to worry about. It can have lots of different causes and is not a disease in itself but a collection of unexplained symptoms. Anxiety could definitely be worse at times when you are alone, depressed or not actively thinking about other things. I definitely find my anxiety and some of my OCD thoughts are worse in those situations. You could always see whether if you engage in an activity/hobby when you're alone, the aching is less noticeable?
  5. I'd really like to know what wingnut websites you get your information from.
  6. Okay. Whatever. You're like the boy who cried wolf. We've heard this many times before. Yeah, yeah, you're just going to accept it. Uh huh. You'll be back five times tomorrow and five times the day after that. Nothing will change because you are unwilling to take our advice and change your ways. See you next time for the same old thing.
  7. Alright, I've had enough of this and I know people on here have had enough as well. I've just decided to do nothing - it's not like it matters anyway I'm going on nearly 5 years of this. I just said to myself fine and then my brain just stopped. I feel calmer for it but I'm not happy about it. There's no point though. Everything that relates to anything that I'm scared about actually relates to me if that makes sense? I felt like maybe I had gotten better at one point but I hadn't. It was probably my last sign of happiness until I accepted the truth. I'm in denial and I should really stop embarrasing myself. Whenever something happens or i think something and it perfectly matches up with my fear. That's just me repressing myself at this point. I've seen so many people just say 'once I accepted myself I felt so much better and all my repressed memories came flooding back in.' That's exactly what's been happening to me! I really don't want to continue on. I think what have I done to **** someone off? I see so many people out living their lives and they don't worry to the extent I do. I feel like everything I thought was true was a lie. I just need to get over it.
  8. I would try to avoid Googling and self diagnosing, that is such a bad path. I did that when I had my physical symptoms and it made everything so much worse - I got more anxious and the symptoms became stronger. If you are really worried, talk to your GP. I think anxiety can manifest at any time. Mine often gets worse when I’m alone and there isn’t much else going on. This is when your mind becomes active and starts to invent things. Are you getting treatment for OCD?
  9. Let's focus on wonderful weather and socialising, not on our OCD. 

  10. I was taught to seek to capture the high ground and look down on the OCD. One way to do this is to be dismissive. When an intrusion comes in, just think "oh that's just my silly obsession" and refocus away. Soon we automatically just observe an intrusion, but refocus. And gradually they will occur less frequently, less powerfully.
  11. Lonely mum. Let it go. Your OCD is on the scan for threats everywhere hence the anxiety building. Others don't see the threat, hence no anxiety. But they aren't likely to be risk unaware, they will respond to what they deem a risk, at the right threat level. In contamination OCD the threats are all around us (so says the OCD). But it exaggerates then catastrophises. Believe your folks will be just fine, and resist the compulsion to check on them.
  12. Yes i was thinking this. I tend to obsessively search and google my symptoms but am trying not to feed my ocd. The possiblilty of fibromyalgia and was on my mind as this is sometimes caused by anxiety. Yes i have tried to ignore it and it works sometimes. It seems to get worse with lack of exercise, i am quite an active person but if i have nothing to do it usually get worse. Could anxiety be worse in times where i am alone or down??? I find that i am highly anxious when out, at college, in busy places and train etc. However these aches seem to occur when i am not doing anything most of the time altho not always. I dont know if this is becuz i am not occupying my mind and letting anxiois thoughts seep through??? Thank you
  13. Thanks for the advise Handy. Not sure if I understand your question OCDhavenobrain…
  14. Hi Sophhh, It's completely possible that this is caused by anxiety- you could be hyperventilating with anxiety (without necessarily appearing to have a panic attack) or tensing muscles through anxiety. It's also possible that it's something like a mild virus, which might disappear within the next few days. If it carries on for more than a week then you should pop into a Pharmacy or try to get a phone call appointment with a GP but provided you do not have a high temperature, a rash etc. and do not feel terribly unwell then it doesn't sound like a big deal.
  15. ...and everyone going out and about, I can feel the anxiety rising due to possible contamination and it being there highly likely in places where everyone goes. My parents have gone to do shopping where that area/car park is used for (group) outdoor sexual activities. They dont know it. I guess most people using those stores don’t know it but I do and I need to see my parents later on tonight and I feel like hiding, but if I don’t go to my parents house, they will most likely end up at mine to see my kids!
  16. A few suggestions that work for me, try no caffeine, no cigs, no nicotine, no alcohol, as these simulate or mimic OCD thoughts, thus making these thoughts stronger & can also lower serotonin. Stress & hormones can do it. Rest works great, so get in bed early, also exercise daily until you are exhausted. This can reform your brain neuroplasticity & activate your neocortex. Also, try to work on the cause of your ocd not just the symptoms.
  17. There are a few tv shows about hoarding, like hoarders that show you the recovery process.
  18. Hi Sophhh, I had some physical symptoms of anxiety about 6 months ago so I can relate to what you're saying. Basically, the right side of my body started to feel kind of "heavy", I don't know how else to describe it. It was sort of like walking in a swimming pool but only on the right side. Then I started getting tingling sensations in my face and legs. I was terrified and went to see my GP, who could find nothing wrong with me. I even did a self referral to a physio and he also said that everything seemed fine and the symptom presentation wasn't very clear to him. Ultimately I read about how anxiety can cause physical symptoms too. I just accepted that it was due to anxiety and it stopped. It comes back now every once in a while but I just remind myself it's anxiety and ignore it. Surely enough, it goes away. Going to the GP isn't a bad idea, if it turns out to just be anxiety related they can help you with that too. Good luck, I hope it all goes well!
  19. Thanks Gingerbreadgirl, I really just need to remind myself of that! Thanks Taurean, that's a helpful analogy!
  20. Ours never had OCD. We just thought that pre CBT she were mad and tempting fate by writing a precise comment on a piece of paper, which none of us would ever dare do! However, post CBT she had us all writing the same thing quite comfortably without any real concern at all, having now seen things from a slightly different perspective, which is when we started doing the ERP.
  21. Hey, So recently i have been slightly happier since the sun is shining! I hope everyone is having a lovely easter... So for the last few months or so my body had been really achey like a heavy muscley aches throughout my body (mainly) in my hands feet and lower legs around the calf area. One of my major ocd triggers is health and so i am a known hypocondriac however i am trying to not panic or ruminate about it. The problem is the more my body aches, the more i worry, the worse my ocd becomes. I physically can not go to the doctors as i have a massive fear of them and last time i went into i was so anxious i dont want to put myself through it again. As well as this i have like a tingling feeling as if its like a full crampy feeling and have been extremely tired and irritable. I feel as though i sleep enough but am still really exhausted. And although annoying it seems to flare up, not all the time. I was wondering if anybody else had experienced this with anxiety and if so how did they help combat it. Any advice is appreciated?. I know i none of u can diagnose me, and altho it scares me i am working on building the confidence to go to the gp about it, but just in the meantime. Thanks xxx
  22. I would try that but it'll always be there so there's no point, no amount of researching or not researching can influence who I am now. It doesn't matter anyway.
  23. Thoughts run on a conveyor belt through our mind. We can't control their entry and onto the conveyor, but we can let the intrusive ones pass and around the corner and out of sight. And that is what we can all aim to achieve. Because that is what the non-sufferer does automatically. And we all have the capability of reaching that stage too if we apply what we are told to do.
  24. Honestly if you could hear the random, bizarre and downright awful stuff that randomly trots through my head you'd have me locked up. Luckily my ocd doesn't tend to latch onto it and I can just see it as the random mental garbage it is. At the end of the day though - thoughts mean nothing, they do nothing, they affect nobody, they are just electrical events in a lump of grey matter. What matters is what you do.
  25. Thanks so much for your help daja, Taurean, OCDhavenobrain and jenkijunki! I do sort of know that these thoughts are Ego-dystonic and potentially affected by Depression but it's so difficult to disregard them. It sort of horrifies me that I could think so little of other people- very odd! I often feel empty and purposeless and have been having thoughts that love, affection, connectedness etc. are all just meaningless constructs BUT these thoughts are just thoughts as you all say. Thank you
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