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This is a good way of dealing with things that scare you but you can deal with them if they’re real. I’m glad it is working for you, i have also grown out of a phobia like that. in my case, i’m doomed if the thought is real. I hate it so much i try to not associate with it and give it a number label but my mind goes digs it deeper “so you are morally wrong” “so you hate his partner” i just feel like my progress of 10 years has gone to waste

Definitely can relate! Although my themes are different. The more time we give a thought, the more the brain goes 'oh that must be important - and it catches all similar thoughts and says 'see I've got these for you they are important' Of course we can interrupt this as ' I keep thinking it, it must be true' One way of dealing with it - I'm trying this at the moment is 'Ok' For me it's about my dog so it's - the dog will get sicker - 'Ok' (I know I have the skills to deal with this if it happens - although I'd be distraught' - the dog might die - yep (again I know I have the skills to deal with this) This is not an easy technique because OCD will cycle every thought and image in it's attempt to cause distress. I cannot managed this all the time and have relapsed the last few days, but it's the fear of uncertainty that it feeds on, the what ifs just make it stronger

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Hello all, I have intrusive thoughts that bothered me so much nearly 10 years ago that I had to go to the therapist and was diagnosed with ocd immediately. I came a long way in a few years after that with medication and learning to ignore those thoughts. However recently, they resurfaced worse than ever before. I feel like how i did 9-10 years ago, back to square 1. I fear crushing on that one person, and hating on their partner who i actually love personally. To consolidate myself, i say I wouldn’t have grown out of those thoughts in the last 8-9 years if my feelings were real. But the smallest possibility of it being real drives me mad. I feel disgusted and i think i feel this way because I know crushing on that person is wrong. I saw my therapist the other day and they recommended me to not engage with the thoughts that bother me, maybe give them numbers. The number route worked for me back then but now I keep thinking about the thought itself even if I give it a number. They also recommended going to classes for literally anything. recently, some of my closest friends moved to other places and i cannot socialize that much. (I was diagnosed with ocd at 20 and now I’m nearing 30, hence no longer a student with more socialization opportunities) Normally, these thoughts go away in a day or two when they resurface but now they have been present for nearly a week I really fear that I’m actually feeling that way and I’m fabricating disgust and fear because i know it’s wrong. Can anyone relate?

Exam

Hi everyone I'm 37-year-old woman who's suffered from various types of real event OCD since I was about 15 years old. This last flare up has been my worst and my longest that I can remember in the recent past. I have a dog who is about to turn 13 a Labrador and I am now obsessed with their health. This all started with her having a limp relating to her arthritis. She has now been seen by a vet twice who feels that the treatment we have for her pain management is appropriate but I cannot stop obsessing. My compulsions are as follows - getting up to check she is breathing at least seven to ten times a night (she sleeps in the same room) - watching her constantly in the house to see how she walks to try and remember if the limp was worse than the day before - obsessed googling things like dogs and arthritis, signs of cancer in dogs, and when is the right time to euthanize a dog - going over and over in my mind exactly what I would say and do to the do if the vet told me she had cancer. How to can imagine none of this is doing any favours for my mental health I'm not sleeping a full night and I have not slept before night for about three weeks. I managed to stop the compulsive Google and for around a week but then I noticed her limp again and ended up taking her to the vets on Wednesday and have pretty much been compulsively googling since. I feel that I've lost joy in everything I don't want to shower, I don't want to go out, I don't want to do any of my commitments and for the first time I've taken time of work due to not been able to concentrate because of the compulsions. Most of all I just feel so alone I don't really know who to talk to about this as I know it will only end up as reassurance seeking which I do not want. I am more than aware that she is a good age for a Labrador and luckily has helped good health up until now. When I was young I had very bad OCD around the death of my grandparents and I think watching my dog got older is somehow tapping into those memories and the difficult ten years I had. Can anyone relate? or have any ideas on what I can do to try and enjoy some of my life as well as enjoyed the time that I have with her?

It can be expensive for therapy but if you are prepared to look around you might find someone at a good price who can help. There are lots of great ones out there who do online support too.

Bar

I just feel bc of the reasons I mentioned, that this friend now is absolutely not wanting to spend time, and what happened as I mentioned with the cancellation 3 hours before and how they said they would talk to my family member at a certain time the next day and they didn’t answer and texted me back later apologizing and calling me the next day to talk, bc it’s easier to talk when they don’t have to talk to my Family member bc they didn’t want to go, and didn’t want to tell me they didn’t want to go and are afraid. So I think there all connected in proof they don’t want to go and don’t want to tell me they don’t want to go, and I see major similarities to my friend from the past as I mentioned him bailing out and then sometimes getting back to me and letting me talk about things and bailing out

I don't know much about this, but at certain times in our lives we question different parts of our identity. It happens for many people in their twenties when they are trying to decide who they are, and through that questioning they come to some sort of establishing of their identity that makes them feel more comfortable with themselves and who they are and want to be. I say it happens in our twenties because often then we are freed from conforming to family or peer expectations and we can decide who we are. It may also happen at different points in our lives when some event makes us question who we are and what we are doing. So I think it's a natural process that we all participate in, but if you throw ocd anxiety and doubts into the mix it can all seem a bit confusing and daunting.

I really need help handling this in my mind and not focusing there absolutely gonna do to me what the other friend did and that the similarities and connections are there to all I said they said and did after the plans were cancelled to that they’ll do exactly what the other friend did. Please help!! @snowbear @PolarBear

Well I had plans with someone I talk to but haven’t seen In a couple years, we planned on a restaurant hangout Saturday and they called me like 3 hours before and they sounded very upset and said the friend that was supposed to drive them was coughing and sneezing and didn’t tell them Right away bc they kept a commitment, and the friend who called me said they yelled at them and they kept apologizing, and they said they’ll look to reschedule maybe like May 12. And I asked if I could call them the next day around 11 am for them to say hey to my family member that was gonna go with me. I tried calling and they didn’t answer me at the time but texted me later that there sorry they didn’t respond. But they called me the next day to talk and mention about the replanned day and to chat, and we’ve spoken a little the last couple days. Now I’m focusing that they didn’t want to go and made up the story that the friend was sick and that they made up the conversation and maybe they also didn’t want my family member to go, and that they are only talking to me nicely sometimes and keeping in touch and mentioning another replanning day because they didn’t want to tell me they didn’t want to do anything with me and they were afraid to tell me, so they just acted as if they want to see me and do things with me and talk nice to me, and continue to just last minute cancel on me with excuses each time. the reason I’m saying that is because I’ve had a couple people affect me, and one in particular who I’ve mentioned here before, who after the first few months I was friendly with them. Constantly telling me they wanted to do things, letting me uptalk the planned events and then suddenly constantly either cancelling on me last minute with excuses, or showing up 3-5 hours late or not showing up at all. Then after me and my family used to reach out to him, he’ll eventually answer and seem interested in doing things again and then talk to me about other things and then when the time came cancel with excuses or Come 3-5 hours late or not show up at all and repeat repeat again and again. i also think that on top of thinking the friend now cancelled last minute and made up the story and that it’s true bc they avoided calling me when they said they would the next day to talk to the family member and Just answered me later and said they overslept and that they called me the next day to talk about other things too and answer me about other things too, but don’t want to see me at all and don’t want to tell me bc there afraid to tell me. Now I think on top of that they won’t reschedule a day despite saying they’ll look to take off the day and that they may say they have to do it later in the month and that they won’t want to do it at all, or maybe even that they’ll reschedule and talk about the fun of the day and let me talk about it, just in order to not tell me they don’t want to go bc there afraid and they’ll discuss other things then cancel with excuses each time and repeat the cycle like that old friend did dozens of times

Chocolate

Hi Chris I have exactly the same as what you describe.. it's hard Misophonia + Misokinesia Only my relatives would trigger me to react (parents, partner, sadly children), strangers dont bother me I am trying some CBT, but worried it won't fix me and won't give me enough relief. Not sure what's in store next, sadly it doesn't seem to go away and if anything gets worse. Sorry, not meant to bring all this pessimism.. happy to chat more, it might help us

Thank you angels. I went out for dinner with friends and my friends said something that triggers my ocd (no fault of theirs) and I am worried my brain has accepted thougths as good which they are not. I can't sleep and feel like I want to call the police.

Brownie

I see. I'm sorry. Of course it's hard like that! There are some websites, podcasts and profiles on Instagram that also offer free stuff but, well, I don't know... to me it's always a risk to use the tools without anyone telling you how to use them. Maybe it would help if you just read their posts, their experiences, or consult those websites. Sometimes there are free webinars given by psychotherapists. They all specialise in treating OCD. Maybe you already know them. If I'm not mistaken, there are a few users here who have managed and manage OCD on their own, I can't remember who... knowing that might help you, and maybe you would feel less lost and more understood if you were 'accompanied' by someone who did it themselves. Maybe their words would carry more weight for you than what someone in therapy can tell you, even if we say the same things. Gosh, it's really hard...

Hi Maggers I go onto you tube and type in meditation for ocd and pick one i find them really good for relaxation and trying to keep well. If there is a day my ocd is really strong or iam over stimulated and i cant listen to someone talking me through a meditation ill listen to just sounds instead eg rain etc

Ocd related Perfectionism to me is a way of making sure we do something perfect so theres no risk of getting it wrong like a safety behaviour. For me it can be doubting i am doing the right tecnique, the right response to ocd etc and it only serves to keep the ocd going. I then get the fear of i cant move past this i dont have the perfect answer etc the only way i can move past it is by accepting i have ocd and its tricking me into thinking theres no way round it. I then put the responsibility onto ocd and do my best try my hardest to pull my power back by saying this is my ocd and then refocus until the importance of it lifts and i feel half normal again. Is ocd trying to make you doubt you choose recovery or is making you fear not being able to do a compulsion. It sounds like ocd is up to its old tricks. I hope this helps

@Giusss Yes, I have gone to a couple of therapists over the years, but not for a long time. Got the diagnosis, but back then they weren’t as knowledgeable as I think a lot of them are now. I have been reluctant to go and spend the money on therapy. I am trying to help myself, but that doesn’t always work. It’s tough.

Hi Ocd is an anxiety disorder that makes us overanalyse,disect and doubt everything including who we are as people and what we value most, your way of being, thinking and acting ,it sows seeds of doubt and goes in on what we value the most. Try to separate your intrusive thoughts from who you are as a person. Thoughts are not facts i hope this helps a little and refocus.

A few things I've been thinking about (and as always just my opinion, open to debate). I think some people build ocd up into something bigger than it is, as RC writes, 'they see it as an enemy to be fought'. They seem to exaggerate it's power and almost disassociate it from themselves which in many ways empowers it. I now and in line with Rose Cartwright's personal journey to healthy living see it as a 'matrix condition' or as she puts it a 'biopsychosocial model'. So, (and we've talked about this), we have to see it in it's full context; genetic predisposition, family history, personal history and our exposure to environmental/social/political factors that impact on our lives. In effect that our mind is shaped by and reactive to our environment throughout our lives. I also wonder if ocd becomes just another obsession itself. As RC says she co-opted the language of medical professionals and came to define herself through those terms. So after therapy it's important to break free of all that and start living. (actually I've always felt like I was living in some sort of survival mode which goes back to childhood).

I looked into Stomp a bit more. I hadn't realised what a phenomenal success it had become in America. It made about $100M from ticket sales which is wild to me as I remember a few guys just busking and banging out rhythms outside a pub. A few of the students at uni had various health conditions which they explored in their art and it always added a sense of poignancy and power to their work. There's a cabin down in Dungeness which I've visited a few times(I lived nearby). It was Derek Jarman's Prospect cottage with a garden and I would consider it an artwork in it's own right. I got to see some of the interior art for the first time yesterday(in online newspaper). Here is one he made about the AIDs virus. All the medication he had to take each day. Also a painting of him by Maggi Hambling.

Pot