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About Ashley

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  • OCD Status
    In Recovery
  • Type of OCD
    Tried them all once, but mainly contamination fears that stuck

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  1. Another (stolen from another Facebook friend). I had £5.00. My mum gave me £10.00 while my Dad Gave me £30.00. My aunt and uncle gave me £100.00. I had another £5.00. How much did I have?
  2. I am working with a BBC team to run a feature on OCD for a local Yorkshire programme (they also cover NE Derbyshire). I am looking for anybody from Yorkshire or NE Derbyshire whose OCD was impacted during COVID that might be willing to talk on camera (or via Zoom) about this. Of course, it needs to be right for you to talk on camera, and I will do my best to support you and help you.
  3. Quite Interesting Fact The 999 service was launched in London on this day 83 years ago (30 June 1937). It was the world's first emergency phone number.
  4. Thanks Tez, we can rule them out of this little game then.
  5. As a north Londoner for a while I do know it's not Spurs and Arsenal. It's not Sheffield Utd/Wed either, or Man City/UTD. I have not been to the Bristol's, but not sure they're close either (TeZ might know).. Chelsea and Fulham and QPR might all be close, I would have to check but suspect you're right about Liverpool/Everton with Stanley Park separating.
  6. I'm not sure which English clubs would now be closer, Liverpool/Everton perhaps?
  7. They were, but since their relegation Stoke and a few others have been trying to nab the title.
  8. The two closest league football grounds in England are Nottingham Forest and Notts County separated only by the River Trent and a small road. * You can click here to see a Google Map image from the Trent End of the famous City Ground and look across the river to see the Magpies ground sticking out. * Well was until those idiots across the Trent got themselves relegated out of the football league last season. Also quite interesting, but probably not very is the fact that technically Notts County are in the city of Nottingham and Forest are in the county.
  9. Taken from today's Quite Interesting Twitter post to get us started. Forty is the only number in English whose letters are in alphabetical order.
  10. Nothing to add beyond what our wonderful users have already said RA, but my thoughts are with you, and whatever his reasons, I am sure if he loved you he would not want you to feel guilt. It's ok to be sad and upset but please don't let guilt build. Are you getting any support at the moment through the NHS? Even if not CBT for the OCD it might be helpful to try and get some help through your local IAPT so you have someone to talk to. If you do refer in and there are any issues with wait times please let me know and I can try and see if I can help expedite the wait time. Stay strong.
  11. Hello JKM, I agree in one sense with Doubt it that you're still early in therapy, but by the same token I do firmly believe that success or failure of therapy can sometimes be dictated by the working relationship between the patient and therapist. My gut feeling is if you're taking things wrong, it's because the therapist isn't explaining them correctly or clearly enough t you. Have you tried asking her to expand or explain the areas of the conversation that make you feel unsure? If I am honest, I think we know within the first couple of sessions if the 'relationship' is there, if you feel there is easy communication and if you feel the trust is there enough to be able to engage in proactive therapy. If not, you could try explaining how you feel to see if things improve. I have 'sacked' a NHS therapist after one session before (although I perhaps jumped too soon on that). I politely explained I don't feel this relationship is working, and I asked to me escalated to someone with a little more understanding of OCD (was a bit awkward, but only for a couple of minutes). It did mean I had to go back on the waiting list though, but I was happy to do that.
  12. Love this. I don't think for anybody we can benefit by focussing on the what ifs. But you're right, live life now and it's ok to make mistakes sometimes, because you're living! I guess that's a lesson I need to adapt pretty quickly.
  13. Thank you for your birthday wishes guys, but my bad for the way I worded the post. I was actually 47 months ago I guess the point I was making that blink of an eye and I am in my late 40s.... Unless I am feeling particularly old, then I will lie and tell everyone I ma 39
  14. A blog piece I wrote last week.. The other day I stumbled on this photo which I had not seen for a while and I started to reminisce about all the good our charity team have achieved in the 15 years since that photograph was taken. But it was also tinged with regret, of sorts, I later told a friend. “15 years ago, I was a 32-year-old young professional, I still had my life ahead of me and I was more than happy to prioritise my work for the charity. But in the blink of an eye I am 47, still single and childless… what happened?!” My friend asked me if I felt sad about that? To which I had no reply. But the fact I still tell everyone I am 39 perhaps goes someway to answer that. At 39 I felt I still have a little time on my side to get those things, at 47 the chances of being a father at my age are now pretty unlikely. My friend reminded me that my job is an important one, and more than a job, which is right and I wouldn’t change that for anything in the world, but as I told her… “Along the way I’ve forgot to enjoy life or I’ve used work to avoid living life.” At which point, like any good friend, she didn’t let me off the hook she asked me which was it? The honest answer is I am not entirely sure, although my colleague firmly believes it’s the latter. I think that’s right, but we need to go back to the beginning to understand why. When I was younger OCD was the dominant feature of my late teens and all of my 20s, even some of my 30s. The truth is OCD prevented me enjoying life like I wanted because of the never-ending washing to ‘feel’ clean, I avoided life. Each day was strictly the ‘three W’s’, Wake > Work > Wash! Because of this I rarely went out to socialise. As the years went on socialising, making small talk, being in social situations became more and more uncomfortable and so I avoided situations even more. I would throw myself into work to avoid having to be in those social situations, and of course my opportunity to meet anyone or date became limited. When training therapists, Professor Salkovskis uses the term ‘collateral damage’ to remind them not to ignore the impact OCD can have on a person’s life. Because when OCD is successfully treated, it can leave a huge gaping hole for some. I guess the collateral damage of my OCD was I remained isolated and lonely. Although, I tried to kid myself for decades that I wasn’t lonely, the truth was I have always been lonely. Perhaps this is why I enjoy cycling, it’s something I can do on my own without having to cycle with anybody else. Back to the earlier question, I guess the truth is I used work to plug the big gaping hole caused by OCD. The socialising, dating and relationships that most people learn to do in their teens and 20s was an alien concept for me, despite some failed dabbling over the years. At my age people expect you to know how to do all of that with relative ease, but for me it still feels uncomfortable and embarrasing, even now at the age of 47. So, in the blink of an eye I’m 47… what happened?! OCD happened, but worse still I have let it happen (the collateral damage part). I know admitting this this leaves me open and vulnerable to ridicule, but at my age 47 I have stopped caring if people judge me for my failings. (Did you hear that Zoë, I said I was 47!). I hope by writing this, it may help others, perhaps whose life didn’t pan out how they had hoped to feel a little less isolated. I also hope this might remind others that once OCD is no longer stopping you living life, to make sure you actually do live your life! Go and have fun, make mistakes, but jolly well make sure you live your life. Life may be different to our we envisioned it, but we owe it to ourselves after years of misery from OCD to make sure whatever life holds in the future, we make sure the future starts now.
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