oetegenn1976

I have just started working as a teaching assistant within a school for severely disabled children, I am only supply which is better for me as I have two children of my own. Thing is I absolutely love it, love the kids, love the banter with the staff. But at the end of the day I begin to feel tired and just cant be arsed! I love the job but feel overwhelmed! And if I like the job, why am I feeling overwhelmed? It does pull on the heartstrings a little to see children severely disabled, and then when I get home and see my two running around! How can I stop thinking about the other children. Its probably my ocd at play as usual, but just keep analysing every emotion and feelings that I have. We also had some news that we maybe getting the keys to our new house in the next week, which is also overwhelming me! Any tips on how to get through this patch and to feel more capable?

Its fine, dont sweat it..... Pat yourself on the back!

Bless yer, only a few weeks to go so not long! And as for having them thoughts you mentioned, I had the same with my husband, and I know my hubby is a good man and a great father and would never do anything like my mind thinks. But ocd is good at making us believe such silly things, I just laugh at them now and think yeah whatever.... I used to tell my hubby all my ocd thoughts in the past, but they hurt them real bad especially if they dont understand ocd, and were accusing them etc. I just dont tell him anything now as its reassurance seeking and to be honest, I always think how would I feel if someone accused me of xyz and watched my every move? I'm sure hes a good man, and its only the thoughts that are making you paranoid, also not to mention the hormones you have at the min. When I was pregnant with my daughter, my friend was staying over and I went to bed early, my thoughts where awful and convinced myself that my friend and hubby was having an affair! It was awful and I was a wreck....but it was my ocd! I told my friend, she laughed and why on earth would you tgink that hes not my type! And asked my hubby and said out right nothing happened, it was all made up in my head. Hope I've helped x

Well done x keep up the good work x

Why would you want to kill yourself? I know ocd sucks and thoughts can become horrible and intense! This week I also was thinking silly thoughts regarding suicide, and I even hate the word....because its horrible and depressing. Why would I do such a thing? Its not courageous to take life...life is a gift, and life can go in a flash. Yes we have ****, horrible, sticky thoughts that make us feel alone, empty, and strange etc etc....but also look at the wonderful things in the world. Butterflies, flowers, sunshine, heat, birds singing, children, laughter there are so many things that are much more important than our thoughts that just want us to end it..... So what if we have ocd, so what if we have crazy thoughts that we take literally, I would rather live with such thoughts and challenge every waking moment than doing something quite the opposite....living with ocd is courageous not ending life! Keep moving, keep challenging and keep trying to get better x

Can I ask why you came off your meds? I know your pregnant....but you can still take meds whilst pregnant! I was on my meds when I was pregnant and my daughter is healthy, my doctor said that everything has risks but would you like to enjoy your pregnancy or be anxious and filled with doubt etc, obviously I choose the enjoy my pregnancy and carried on taking my pills for my child, for my wellbeing and for my husband x

Well you certainly know that if you touch the cat, toilet or anything else and dont wash....whats going to happen? Your not going to die! Your not going to get ill! But yes you will have intense anxiety! And anxiety cannot kill you, cannot make you mad or anything... Its not a catastrophe, it is a inconvenience. Do a task each day....the same task for a week, for example something tiny at the minute. Touch it and dont wash or just wash very quickly. Keep a journal of the task, emotions and feelings before and after. Your anxiety will become overpowering keep with it let it be, your thoughts will tell you, you cant bear it and need to wash as you will die, get diseased etc keep with them let the thoughts be there, dont challenge them. In a weeks time, if you do this everyday for a week, I bet you'll still be here to tell the tale, then try another step upwards... Good luck and have faith in yourself, your not going to die and nothing bad will happen.

I'm under alot of stress at the minute and dont take to change very well....but hey ho can't change things that are inevitable. However, I can change how I'm feeling but am finding it difficult. I'm aware of every emotion I feel and the feelings I feel are intense. I know that thoughts and feelings are linked and I need to change my thoughts....but I'm not even aware of my thoughts at the minute just the extreme feelings. I feel emotional where I just want to burst into tears, and I'm like why am I thinking this? Why am I feeling like this? Then I try to over analyse and feel worse. So scared I'm going to get depressed, or commit suicide! Which is extreme and I'm not going to cos its the ocd....but its not helping me feel any better either! Any suggestions? Just want this all to pass....

Whats the worst possible scenario if you touched the bin, cat or toilet and didnt wash?????? Anxiety? Death? Disease?

I've had millions of dreams of sleeping with women and in my dreams I have been turned on....in the past I used to have uncontrollable worry and images etc etc when I had these dreams, now I just share them with friends and laugh them off. There only dreams hun and dont mean anything, usually we have dreams of things or situations that have happened in waking life.... And as you worry about being gay, your mind will act these out in dreams! Try not to worry, I have had many dreams from being on the loo in public to being chased by a polar bear, non have happened

Don't beat yourself up about these thoughts and feelings, its the ocd.... Did you know that people without ocd get the same thoughts, impulses and feelings as we do, they just dont dwell on them like we do! Therefore the thoughts dont bother them and just think hey up that was a silly thought, us on the otherhand with ocd....analyse every single thought, feeling and then interpret into 100x worse than what it is, this then causes anxiety, depression, insecurity and then beat ourselves up, call ourselves dirty, disgusting human beings and for what? To start the cycle all over again! Your not a paedophile, you have a conscience, you feel awful thinking such things....do you think peadophiles feel and think like you? Because they dont! Dont stop thinking the thoughts, because if you try to stop thinking they will obviously stay put, so let them be no matter how strong, and instead of talking negatively to yourself try and be more positive.... For example I am disgusting, I am not disgusting. Keep strong x

Lol thanks guys x

Thanks for your comments, much appreciated. Can I just say TTG, you did read it wrong! I have been with my husband for over 20 years and I do love him dearly, but I must admit it upset me when you were saying that I may not love my husband because I do, its all OCD related, and I know that once this theme passes another will probably take its place. I am currently studying CBT so I know how anxiety, ocd etc can twist feelings and thoughts, its all about changing the thoughts, but easier said than done when you have loads on your plate. But like I said I'm going to challenge these thoughts and try to enjoy my marriage x

I have had ocd since the age of 16, maybe in childhood but never really noticed I've always been an anxious person. Although I've had ocd at 16 I was diagnosed 9 years ago when I had my son, as I had harm thoughts regarding that I wanted to throw him out of the window etc, obviously I never did but the thoughts were so strong! I've been on my meds for 9 years, and I do feel more in control of my ocd, but really dont think its ever going to leave me, as its now part of me and need to accept that in times of stress and change the ocd will show its ugly head! I have a lots of themes in ocd from being gay, harm and relationship....its a pain in the ****! I'm currently under alot of stress at the minute, which lets be honest is life. I'm moving house end of month, my temporary job has finished, I have lots of online courses to complete and I am stressed.... My current ocd theme at the minute, which I have had since age 16 on and off is relationship. Now I have known my husband since 16, we got married in 2009 and have two children....life couldn't be happier, but ocd is rearing its blumming horrible head in that I dont love him, I'm not attracted to him and have the most horrible impulse of saying I dont love you! Why on earth do I want to blurt that out. then the thoughts come you dont love him, your not happy, have a affair etc etc I would never do anything like that, and certainly wont tell him that I dont love because no matter what I do, he's my best friend. Our sex life is non existent but thats me and the ocd making me believe such **** also meds are no help in the sex department either. OCD you are bloody good at making people believe you, and in all situations that make people happy, you rear your head and mess with us....Are we not allowed to be Happy? Well news for you Ocd you can hassle me all you like but I'm a fighter and will battle to the end! I'm never going to leave my husband because of a silly little anxiety doubting disorder! I made my vows and I'll stick by them....so do one! Thanks for reading, just wanted to get this **** of my chest x

Just because you have thoughts that are horrible and intense, does not make them real or true! Its the worry and overthinking that makes the thoughts circle around in a vicious circle, the only way to break that cycle is to accept that the thoughts are there and are just silly thoughts in a tired and stressed mind. Easier said than done I know, but believe me think the thoughts as much as you can and accept the feelings you feel.... The feelings are not sexual they are anxiety based as the head and body are closely linked....think silly thoughts you will get silly feelings, again are not true, just anxiety that needs accepting without the fear, as its the fear again that keeps it going.

Thanks polar bear x

Whats happened? For you to feel overwhelmed?

Hi Just wanting to get a few things off my chest, I've been feeling really down lately, probably due to stress....but cant seem to shake it at all and my ocd is going in over drive. 1St of all I I saw a house for sale its a lovely house, all modern, detached in nice area, my hubby wasnt interested at all. Then a couple of weeks later went down in price! So then my hubby said lets go and view it, we did and he likes it.... For a few weeks we looked at other houses, but nothing was right unlike this other house that we like, so we put an offer in and it was accepted....thats good right? Well I am now feeling a mixture of emotions, I feel sad and anxious....and very overwhelmed as to how quick its happening! Theres also open countryside to the side and back of the property, and also a ditch, 8ft ditch.....Yes its only a ditch, but my ocd is bringing the worse possible images into force with my kids. Next one is a job that I have been working at for 5 months and I liked it alot, but it was only a temporary position, which is fine....but they advertised for an administration Assistant, which I was doing for 5 months! So anyways I applied and got interviewed, but yeah no job and leave on the 15th. In that time a supply teaching assistant job has come up and I start training tomorrow....but again all these changes all good are becoming increasingly overwhelming for me, and I dont cope with change very well as it is! Also I always feel low and dread the newyear! I dont like new years eve because I see it negatively, and think about doom and gloom which I know I shouldn't! Please someone help us out, or just tell me I'm being pathetic.

Sorry your feeling so ****, whats caused this????

Just my anxiety is so out of control, my belly is in knots! I just feel really wierd and out of it, I was fine yesterday! I just dont like thinking of horrible things and keep having images in my head.... I hate ocd so much, when it gets a grip like this.

Just my anxiety is so out of control, my belly is in knots! I just feel really wierd and out of it, I was fine yesterday! I just dont like thinking of horrible things and keep having images in my head.... I hate ocd so much, when it gets a grip like this.

Please help I'm really feeling like I'm losing control here, I watched 6 episodes of walking dead and didn't go to bed till gone 3am.....I know its only a film and not real, but I have this really strong feeling of what if I lose my mind and kill my kids, husband etc! I have been so good too and now this, I just want this to go.... I've had the runs real bad, feel sick, overwhelming feeling of going mad, my anxiety levels are so strong... Call it reassurance seeking, it probably is, but at this moment I think I need it ??? How can a programme get to me like this is beyond me! ?

I really need help in how to get my mind around with whats happening at the minute! A few things have happened all good but my head is spinning and just racing with the speed of everything. 1) had my tooth out which dosent hurt anymore 2) my kitchen is getting rebuilt as I've wanted it so long and now its all in the process 3) going away on a family holiday on monday for a week 4) got an interview today for a mental health position thats out of my comfort zone so to speak. and this all happening now, my anxiety levels are through the roof! Because I always think all these good things may mean something bad might happen, I know thats negative thinking but thats ocd for you. any tips would be greatly appreciated. jo

Thanks hun means alot.....at the moment I'm convinced I need antibiotics for a heart condition as I've had oral surgery.....I dont have a heart condition, but my mind is playing on every little ache and pain I feel. And I'm worrying constantly that I'm going to die from a heart attack or stroke. bloody ocd and health anxiety! I've been fine all this time and then boom! Just cos of a tooth

Thanks for replying just get caught up in the anxiety circle.....anything to do with my body or health related and I crumble. Jo