OB1

Sorry to hear this is so bad, I had a similar topic many years ago and did many compulsions. Let it go, do what the others are saying, the rest is noise. Don't give up, you CAN do it .

Thanks for this and thanks Polar Bear. It's very helpful

Thanks mate, i really appreciate your kind words. I feel much better today, its amazing how healing crying is, i have to admit i find it hard to let go and cry but when i do its clearly good for me.

Thank you gbg, thats very helpful to me. I’m sorry you had this to but its comforting to know i’m not alone. I like your idea of earplugs, i find its virtually impossible not to listen for sounds or engage when i hear something. This is where ptsd comes in i think as i caught someone breaking into my house years ago and have also been seriously assaulted on a seperate ocassion. I’ve also moved into this house recently and i have a really horrible neighbour a few doors down and he’s triggered me when he shouts (not at me at his dog). This theme has come and gone many times but i’m determined to undermine it. The stupid thing is i was wearing earplugs earlier this year before this bothered me (i guess thats focused exposure for you). Thank you again ?

Thanks guys, I really need it right now . I live alone and have been single for a long time now so really miss having someone to hug, that's all. I've been crying a lot this evening probably due to lack of sleep. I'm having a tough time (still crying now) I've been thinking about all the amazing relationships I've had and OCD has destroyed. I know I shouldn't look back to much but it's taken so much from me. It's harder to meet anyone these days and that gets me down too. I don't want to sound like a complainer but I know I need to talk, anyone who knows me will tell you I'm a fighter, just finding this one a bit hard.

Thanks Chris, I've got something to help me sleep so will take it tonight as I need some. This is always the pinch point for me, my anxiety stops me sleeping, it's almost like OCD is just not letting me help myself.

Thank you, good advice ??

Sorry i only just saw this, thats fantastic news ? Really pleased for you!

Just thinking. Maybe i need to do this in a more graded way although my cbt therapist is supportive of what i’m doing.

Hi everyone, I’ve been more proactive lately with reading and listening to scripts/news artcles around one of my latest themes about a fear of being killed at home in the night. So far i’ve also managed to do this whilst leaving a window at the back of my house open & an internal “patio” door unlocked for the last week. The problem is i’ve now had 3 nights of very little sleep because my anxiety is so high. After a horrid night, this morning i am pleased i still got myself to work but my jobs pretty demanding so i’m begining to question myself about if i’m making myself worse. My emotions are up and down from moment to moment, sometimes i’m on the verge of tears, then i pull myself back... i’m really trying to carry on inspite of how terrible i feel. As I’ve seen someone else say, intrusive thoughts are hitting me constantly about everything right now it seems, but I’m trying to just agree with them, instead of arguing and actively tell myself yes all these terrible thoughts are true. I’m concious this may be reassurance seeking but does what i’m doing sound about right? ocd is saying i can’t win whatever i do, (if i write this it is reassurance seeking, if i don’t write it i’m risking getting it wrong or denying myself some support). ?

Agreed ?

Thanks Taurean. That's good to know. How are you? I visit from time to time and not said hi for a while. As you can see I haven't quite mastered things yet.

Hi everyone, Just out of interest, I've found self compassion to be really helpful, it's something I'd never heard of until recently. At the moment I'm having a hard time being bombarded with constant thoughts (and am doing my best not to ruminate). This is because I'm taking on OCD again. The downside is feeling anxious (I know this is part of the process) and a bit depressed some of the time. This may be OCD but I worry that being nice to myself is also a form of reassurance. For example, I just want to say to myself "you're doing well, keep going" or generally give myself a positive pep talk about how well I am doing and acknowledging how hard things are. I have an imaginary friend (that sounds funny I know) but he's almost like my mentor and hero (he's a cross between Wolverine and a mountain climber who is very well known). He gives me a hand on my shoulder and is there to say "good work, it's ok, you're doing good". I don't think I use this as reassurance for my worries but I guess I'm scared I'm doing the wrong thing and should have no form of reassurance whatsoever which seems a bit harsh. Anyone have any thoughts on this?

Wow this is incredibly scary when almost every thought is OCD. Really great advice, I don't come here to much these days but it's nuggets like this that help me to understand what I need to do. It's that fear of making a mistake that keeps me from taking the leap of faith.

I get what you're saying. I've learned it attacks whatever is important at the time. Mine switches throughout the day at the moment, it's very hard to know how I'm meant to tackle it because it's so overwhelming. Here's what I'm trying to do. Whenever I get a worrying thought I say to myself, "maybe it will happen/it's true, maybe it won't happen/it's not true" (there's no certainty there). That's one aspect of acceptance, the next step is to move on with whatever you want to do in life. I find the thoughts then flood in and the trick is to remember to keep telling myself "maybe it's true, maybe not". If anyone wants to add to that please do. **** it's hard, really hard, when the thoughts jump around so much I liken it to trying to hold a wet fish in both hands.

Thanks. Surely this is where all OCD should be treated? I'm learning all the time!

Hi Angst, Thanks for replying and it's good to hear you have dealt with this in the end. My therapist knows where the fear comes from, happy to share it hear too. I was physically assaulted as a teenager which still haunts me 27 years later. A few years later, one night I caught someone in the act of crowbarring my patio door at home and that also caused a lot of fear. There are a few other things, I went to quite a rough school where I witnessed more than enough violence or fear of it. It's only now I appreciate how this has lasting consequences if it isn't dealt with. I'm not entirely sure where my belief about protection comes from but I do think it's something to do with spending decades ruminating (a compulsion). So is that 2 books by the same authors that contradict one another? I'm not trying to understand where the belief comes from though, just ways to challenge it. Thanks

Very wise words indeed

No problem BelAnna. In answer to your question, this is where I think there is a lack of information about what is treated first, I would have thought a psychologist would be the qualified person to make a call on something like this not a CBT therapist (as in my case). It all seems a bit hap hazard in my experience unless anyone knows more than me? Looking forward to hearing how it goes for you

Thanks Dragonfly, just reinforces my own thoughts about therapists. I have had a lot of physio/chiro over the years and they can vary quite a lot, I think a CBT therapist is no different. I think I'm going to give it a try and go from there. It's to address PTSD from being physically assaulted as a teenager. I wish we could share who all the good therapists are and where they are as it's just pot luck!

What he said

I suffered with this for many years and have every sympathy with you but it sounds like you are on the right track. It is possible to get past. I think it's a natural response to feel anger in a situation that triggers a fear that you are going to act in a way that goes against your core values. It's a fight or flight response. About 15 years ago I was in a very bad place with OCD and remember feeling angry with my loved ones (who my OCD was saying I would harm). They wanted me to stay with some close relatives (to look after me for a few days) but my OCD was saying I would harm them too if I went to stay. So whichever choice I made I was going to harm someone I loved (that's OCD for you). I was very angry about that because I was very very scared and couldn't run away (metaphorically or physically). Also is it possible you think you have the thoughts about harm because you are angry with the person you are afraid of harming? This was another way my OCD got me into endless compulsions. Before I was diagnosed I used to think I was having thoughts about harming certain people because I had some hidden anger towards them, utter nonsense. Hope that is helpful.

That's encouraging to hear Yep my understanding was it's not for OCD but for addressing some entwined issues. Did you have it alongside OCD treatment, i.e did it come up whilst being treated for OCD as something that could help you? Cheers

Thanks for the suggestions, I think the audio recording is my next step.

Hi BelAnna Not bumping my previous thread but I was offered this for my PTSD symptoms in relation to a fear of being physically assaulted, I'm still wondering if it will be beneficial as I opted to focus more on CBT/OCD and was very apprehensive about it too as my therapist had only just trained in it and is also not a psychologist either. I have a feeling we may have something in common in that one of our themes is hindered by something else in recovery? I'm not saying it is, just wondering in my case. I wish there was some clearer guidance on this, i.e is it best to tackle the PTSD before OCD, at the same time or are they one and the same etc. I've also had CBT on and off for over a similar period too, although on the face of it I'm a "functioning person" I'm still struggling especially with this particular fear which makes sleeping difficult. Would really like to know if you feel it helps you so if you can give some updates that would be amazing. Thanks