Black Dagger

I am a talented actor, and a writer, but everytime I get a new opportunity that I am very excited about, I immediately feel distrustful of my fellow writer/actor friends. I don't feel like telling them about this new job because I think they might do something to jeopardize it - like snatch away that opportunity from me. And this causes me a lot of anxiety. So instead of feeling happy and excited about this new job, I just feel terribly insecure. I start avoiding these friends, or if I meet them I contain my excitement because I don't want to show them it's important for me. I am still able to control my anxiety because I am at a stage of my OCD where I can manage my anxiety pretty well. But at the same time, I am avoiding these friends of mine. And it's not letting me grow as a person because I am losing out on important contacts in the industry. I know what I am feeling is irrational. Does any of you feel like this as well? If yes, what are the coping strategies you guys are using?

Hey guys, Have you read this book. It's really good. If anyone has, it would be nice to see what you think of it.

Yup me. It suck I know! I can stop the rumination. But the reactions are always delayed which sucks up a lot of energy.

My OCD is pretty much in control. It used to be worse, but now I can spend days without acting on an intrusive thought. But these are only days when I am surrounded by people or my girlfriend, or if I am watching a movie. If I am working alone like reading or working on an assignment I keep on getting intrusive thoughts. Although I can distract myself easily from an intrusive thought and do not spend much time ruminating over it, it is still a very energy draining process. I just can't bear to have them even for a sec. And if I dwell on any intrusive thought for more than a minute, I feel really depressed for the next 2 hours. So I am very confused. I could take the easy way out. Spend the entire day watching movies or being surrounded by people and get away from OCD. But how long can I do that? Somehow I need to figure out a way to work and be stable at the same time and I am really struggling with that. Any emphathizers/symphathizers ?

Thanks for the wonderful answer. Have you read any books on mindfulness or any spiritual books --- Jiddu Krisnamurti, Eckhart Tolle. It seems you're influenced by them.

Hi Kanetaker. I would not suggest you to completely stop your activities on the computer. But if it's too much for you to handle you can probably reduce usage. See if you feel better then. Most probably you wont because OCD will manifest itself in other ways. It's not really the computer..... it's your OCD. What you really need to do is to not perform the compulsions. Let the uneasy feelings alone with themselves. Do not fight with them. It will gradually go away.

Common gav. Just do something else and stop thinking about it. It's your OCD thats troubling you.

Hey guys, For my OCD I have entirely relied on Brain Lock. And I found it to be extremely helpful. Right now I'm reading "You are not your brain". Most of the ideas are from Brain lock itself, so it's nice revision of the old book. I just wanted to know what you guys think of his methods? Are there better books which suggest better ways to combat OCD? Whats the general consensus out there? What is the best book?

If only OCD wasn't there, I could have achieved so much. I could have gone out, done whatever I'd wish. Made big things. Done big things. You know make it big in life and all. I feel I have the potential to do great things. Become great. But this potential is lurking, lost inside the cave of OCD. Like a diamond covered by darkness. And this diamond sparkles every once in a while. And I get excited, thinking, I could do great things, finally. And then I forget, that there is OCD too. And it might return anytime. And return it does many times. Maybe this is what my life is. This is what it's teaching me. Maybe the OCD is teaching me something. Maybe its meant to be this way. And this is how I'll find my peace. I should accept it, and not give up. Not give up, thats the key! Then maybe my life is great --- just the way it is. The way every life is great. For each his own. And maybe, I'm living the great life. Right here, right now. And I just need to be aware of it. Hell yeah!

I agree that all human get intrusive thoughts. But people who do not have OCD, brush away their intrusive thoughts with ease, probably in most cases its automatic, and the person is not even attentive to it. But with OCD, even if one has overcome the compulsion bit, the intrusive thoughts "have to be actively" brushed away. So I would say that complete recovery would mean that the intrusive thoughts are brushed away with ease, sort of like an automatic transmission. And the patient no longer feel that he has to apply "mental force" to brush away the thoughts, even though the thoughts do not stay a moment and there is no rumination. This is my personal view. Given this I would like to know, if its possible for an OCD sufferer to be completely rid of his OCD, the way I described above?

Very well written. Nosnik. I felt as if you were decribing what I faced with my girlfriend. Hang in there for him, he needs you more that anyone, be assured of than. Just keep yourself updated with OCD, so that you can help him out. There is no need to either upset yourself or ,and especially, him. For the time being you will have to deal with reason, as he cannot. PS : I am really grateful to my girlfriend (not together anymore) for putting up with my irrational behavior. She was a huge emotional support --- god knows what would have done without her.

"Is this as good as it gets?" It's indeed the most difficult question to answer. I have been able to bring my OCD under control. But I am always guarding the vicious beast who doesnt seem to stop pounding its way into my head. I have become good at gurading him, but I am also very tired of the guarding. I want to be able to think freely. Because I'm always on guard to my thoughts, I find it very frustrating that I cant think of anything else. Every non-ocd thought feels so forced --- I have to force myself away from that beast. This way, I'm not doing the rituals anymore and its not affecting my life that way. But the thoughts are still trying to intrude. So again I ask "Is this as good as it gets?". Will I have to just get used to the fact that my life will continue this course of suffering? I'm very tired and disillusioned with life. Sometimes, and very much right now, I feel like just leaving everything and running away to the himalayas and live the life of an ascetic. But will that help? Will that give me the peace I'm looking for? The oh so sweet nectar-like peace, that our poor minds are craving for? I dont know. But I like to know your thoughts. Have you gotten used to the suffering? Or every day is just worse and the mind learns nothing? Do write back.

It will all pass purple. Five years down the line you'll be laughing at yourself. :laugh: No worries!

Yup. That happened to me as well. You just feel very low and for no good reason, right? Consult your doctor. Maybe you need a lower dosage or a different combination. In my case I switched to fluvoxamine from fluoxoteine and it worked.

Keep trying to distract yourself. It will pass. Sleep over it. Watch a movie? Just start doing something to get out of the brain lock. It will pass ; it has to pass.