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Lynz

OCD-UK Member
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Everything posted by Lynz

  1. I only mentioned those 3 as they post a lot of useful posts. I said "and others" in my post to encompass anyone else. My point was any useful post by any member of the forum could be used in a pinned thread, and I wasn't saying only those 3 could have pinned posts.
  2. I'm wondering if it would be possible to collate some of these amazing posts by snowbear, polar bear, taurean and others and put them in a thread that is pinned to the top of the forums for anyone to read. I feel that so many users are missing out on all of this wisdom unless they happen to read a thread that they are posted in.
  3. No need to apologise. I mentioned the other threads to try and get you to see that there is a common theme here that needs exploring, likewise pointing out the compulsions too as it can be hard for us to see what compulsions we are doing sometimes.
  4. This is textbook hyper-responsibility OCD. You are not responsible for the actions of others such as this woman's husband no matter how you act. Even if this woman's husband harmed her it wouldn't be your fault, it would be his fault for choosing to harm her. We mostly can't prevent harm happening to others despite what we wish. Your post is littered with compulsions such as rumination and reassurance seeking, especially wanting reassurance that we have read the whole post in case we've missed some important detail. I've noticed this is a recurrent theme for you. You feel that you may have crossed a moral line regarding some relationships with women e.g. sex workers, married women etc. and then make a long detailed post about it and want reassurance from us regarding this. Hopefully no-one will give this to you. Is this theme something that you are working through with your therapist?
  5. No worries bluegas. I completely understand the frustration, and all we can do is our best on here to help others and ourselves too.
  6. I completely agree with you, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't keep trying to help. I will always repeat myself here with advice and support even if it never gets listened to because there is a chance that one day I might get through and NLL (and others) might take it on board. I'm not having a go I'm genuinely not sure what your alternative is to the advice and support given on here so far is. Saying that NLL is so far gone that he won't be able to implement any advice is one thing, but is the alternative just to let him continually post in here into an echo chamber and for none of us to try and respond in a constructive way? I also think it's a bit mean of you to disparage the distraction advice given here such as going for a walk etc. None of us are magicians and we can't cure NLL on here so there isn't much we can do to help except offer advice such as this and encourage NLL to seek support. Also things like going for a walk aren't going to cure his OCD at all but they might make him feel a tiny bit less anxious about everything. Things like that certainly help me when I'm in crisis so that is why I've suggested that here. Ultimately the only way NLL is going to get better is by getting some proper treatment and none of us here can sort that out for him. I'm constantly urging him to do his best to seek therapy. I agree he should be in hospital and looked after but sadly that is not the system that we have, and I think having mental and physical health treated equally within healthcare is many many years away if at all. We can only work with what we have unfortunately.
  7. That's great, NLL. Hopefully you will get some proper support sorted out soon.
  8. Come on now NLL. This kind of talk isn't going to help you at all. This is why I said the religion aspect is just a way for you to try and seek absolution for your fantasies and ultimately will do you harm if that is your only motivation for seeking it out. The devil isn't real and he hasn't been using you since you were 9 or whatever, you just have OCD. I'm really worried about you talking like this. Saying you're being used by the devil who has got you from a ouija board etc could be bordering on psychosis if you truly believe what you are saying. I do think you need some urgent professional help to the point where A&E could be necessary. I know you don't want to go (nobody does believe me) but I think you are in serious need of some help. Call the crisis team even. I know you say they're useless but anything is better than this.
  9. Finally got Hogwarts Legacy for my ageing Xbox One. Needless to say I'm hooked! Such a great game
  10. Trying to use religion as a way to cure OCD is not going to work. It is simply another compulsive behaviour to try and find relief from your anxious thoughts. Have you spoken to Ashley yet? Here is Hal's post again -
  11. Even if your fantasies were the issue you are not "letting" your wife do anything. She makes her choice to stay with you and it is also her choice if she leaves. You are not responsible for your wife being married to you or not. This is a "hyper-responsibility" belief which is common in OCD but it also needs to be challenged.
  12. I agree with this. Yes it was wrong of you to cheat with her sister but she made the decision to stay with you after that. She can't then use that as an excuse to be abusive towards you if she has decided to stay. If what you did made her so angry then she should have left you, not stayed with you and then act horrible towards you. You also shouldn't put up with it just because of what happened in the past. It sounds harsh but if your wife is so angry with what you did then she should leave you, not stay and act abusive towards you in the relationship. This environment can't be good for your son at all. I also agree that recovery will be tough for you if you stay in this relationship. It is like your wife is trying to undermine every step of your recovery and is quite happy to keep you mentally unwell as some sort of revenge for what you did I don't know. It seems strange that you have been suicidal and ended up in hospital etc, but that doesn't seem to bother her rather the fact that you have fantasies bothers her more than you actually being so mentally unwell, suicidal and in hospital. That is not how a caring partner behaves. I would be absolutely distraught if my partner was as unwell as you are and would do anything I could to help. Yes he hasn't cheated on me or anything like that but if he had done I would have left him, not stayed and then used that as an excuse to treat him like ****. I do think you have some tough decisions to make NLL.
  13. I am the same with medication. I found none of them worked for me and made my symptoms worse. What actually worked for me was good CBT therapy and hard work on my part in sticking with it. I only tried SSRIs and not any other type of medication. I know some people on here have more success with SNRIs or a low dose antipsychotic rather than SSRIs, so they might be something to try if you've tried all of the SSRIs and they don't work for you.
  14. Ironborn is right once you confess about these particular fantasies you may feel better for a short while but without a doubt some other fantasy that you might not have even thought about for years for example might then start to bother you, and you'll have to confess that one too. Or you might have another fantasy which then bothers you and you'll feel the need to confess that one as well. It won't end unless you work on the OCD which is driving the whole thing, as the fantasies are not the actual problem here.
  15. I agree with others the confessing to your wife isn't the only compulsion you are doing. You are ruminating back and forth all day long about the content of you fantasies, you confess to us in here all the time, you post hateful things about yourself on here, you sometimes Google things to do with sexual fantasies, and you also ask us for reassurance about the content of your fantasies. You also ruminate and post a lot in here about confessing to your wife which is also a compulsion. I'm sure there are tons more you are doing too. I think you need urgent therapy in order to help work through this and a good OCD therapist will help you work through your compulsions and come up with a plan to reduce and eventually stop them. I'm not sure of the ins and outs of 'right to choose' with regards to mental health care, but I do know that with a lot of physical health issues you can use 'right to choose' to be seen by a private clinic that is funded by the NHS, in order to be seen a lot quicker than you would be if you waited on a standard NHS waiting list. When I had some ear issues recently my local hospital had a 12 month wait for appointments but I used right to choose and was able to book an appointment in a private hospital near me through the NHS and I was seen much quicker. It sucks for the NHS as they have to foot the bill but these are the times we live in. I'm wondering if that would be an option for you in your area so you can be seen by an OCD specialist sooner. In my experience you have to badger people a bit (i.e. your GP) and ask for these things as they generally don't tell you about it unless you ask.
  16. I'm also quite shocked and offended Handy that you said I could be brain damaged. How dare you? I'm a nurse and work with actual brain damaged patients and let me tell you if the only issue they had was some brain zaps then they would not be classed as brain damaged or need the medical help that they have. You really need to think before you post things.
  17. None of us are doctors so we're not in a good position to diagnose your grandad. It could be anxiety or OCD or possibly something more serious like dementia given his forgetfulness and age. My grandmother has dementia and she has similar symptoms which were misdiagnosed as anxiety at first such as misplacing things all the time, ringing my mum up a lot being upset about multiple different things etc. The most important thing is that he is seen by a doctor who can do a proper assessment to determine the cause. I understand where you're coming from though with the generational thing as it was such a struggle to get my grandmother to go to the doctor's for anything. In the end my mum basically had to drag her there herself when she first started having these issues. That wasn't a dementia thing either as she was always like that when it came to going to the doctor's for anything.
  18. "Brain zaps can happen when a person decreases or stops using certain medications, particularly antidepressants. They are not harmful and will not damage the brain. However, they can be bothersome, disorienting, and disruptive to sleep." https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/brain-zaps#:~:text=Brain zaps can happen when,disorienting%2C and disruptive to sleep.
  19. Some studies have shown in some people brain zaps last for years. In other people it can be a symptom of chronic stress and anxiety. I might have 1 brain zap a year now if that so it's hardly frequent. I don't think it's helpful to people to throw around things like "brain damage". My GP isn't concerned either.
  20. Brain damage from taking SSRIs? You can't be serious.
  21. I haven't taken amitriptyline but I did struggle really badly when coming off citalopram. I tapered as slowly as possible over several months but struggled a lot with brain zaps too and I do still occasionally get them even though I've been off the drug for nearly 10 years, so I do sympathise with what you're going through. However bear in mind it will get easier and the brain zaps will lessen over time. I would definitely go back to your doctor and tell them you're struggling a lot with the withdrawals. They might be able to give you an alternative plan rather than going cold turkey. In my case it was take the lowest possible dose every other day, then after 2 weeks miss 2 days etc until I was taking it once a week and then not at all. Again this was for citalopram not amitriptyline but there might be something similar you could do depending on what your doctor says.
  22. I get this. It's a common symptom of PMS and is caused by hormone fluctuations. Totally harmless (if a bit annoying!). My OCD and anxiety is also worse right before my period too. Bloody hormones . But you are right it will lift in around a week's time and you will feel better. So what practical steps can you do today to take your mind off this? You've already suggested you might go for a walk. That's a good idea. Practice mindful walking so you don't just zone out on the walk and ruminate about stuff. There are mindful walking meditations you can download or perhaps you could listen to a podcast or audiobook. Or walk with a friend or family member. If you can practice being present in the moment on your walk and noticing everything around you then that will really help. A good technique I use is the "name 5 things" technique. You go through all of your senses e.g. "name 5 things you can see/hear/touch/smell...". Taste might be a bit hard to do but it's not really necessary for the exercise.
  23. I was replying to the post above which said to you are you sure you're having normal fantasies and not intrusive thoughts. When I said even if the fantasies aren't "normal" it doesn't matter as the problem you have is OCD. What I should have said was there is no such thing as a normal fantasy. What some people fantasise about might be completely different to what others fantasise about. The point is "normal" is completely subjective. So my point was that it is wrong to focus on whether your fantasies are "normal" or not as the problem is your OCD and not the content of your fantasies. Every time you catch yourself ruminating on the content of your fantasies and whether you should confess to your wife about them try and redirect your attention into doing something else. Even if your mind is going a mile a minute the point is you are letting the anxiety just be and not reacting to it. It's good that you went out for a meal with your family. Doing things like this is a good way to distract you even if it doesn't feel like it at the time. I also notice that you seem to "confess" a lot about your fantasies on here in the hope of getting reassurance. Hopefully nobody will engage with you in that as it won't help you. Also I imagine that even typing out your ruminations and posting them is kind of a mini confession, even if you don't expect anyone to reply. This is another compulsion and it is something you must try and not do.
  24. Even if the fantasies weren't "normal" that is not the issue. The issue is the OCD which needs to be treated, like GBG says. IMO, getting drawn into discussions about what are normal fantasies or not is entirely unhelpful and distracting from the real issue which is the OCD. I really hope there are no further discussions about the content of NLL's thoughts and fantasies as that will only distress NLL further and won't help him beat his OCD.
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