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Thank-you so much for all your help!

Thank-you so much. It’s really annoying because I’ll try to look at their face or whatever and my mind is like “oh you looked there because you’re trying to be sneaky so your peripheral can look at that area you shouldn’t.” It’s so frustrating. I also think the intentional looking bothers me a lot. Anyway, thank-you again.

Hello. I’m not even sure that this is possible but I find myself obsessing about where I look. As an example, the other day a family member was sitting and talking to me and then they got up. In the back of my mind I’m telling myself “don’t look anywhere on them that you shouldn’t.” But then I intentionally look somewhere I shouldn’t be looking. It drives me crazy. This happens all the time to me and I don’t know why some of it is intentional. Also I’ve noticed that when I’m looking at something that’s directly in front of me I’ll be more focused on the other thing in my peripheral. It could literally be anything.. but it’s always something to do with looking at inappropriate things and areas and what not because that’s my biggest obsession and what freaks me out the most. Even if I‘m looking at an object and someone is speaking to me (literally anyone, family, friends, everyone) my peripheral will be focused on an area of them I shouldn’t be looking at and then if I try to look at their face or somewhere else my mind sees it as “oh you looked there because you’re trying to be sneaky so your peripheral can look at that area you shouldn’t.” I know it probably doesn’t make sense.. Sometimes I have to cover my eyes in a way so I don’t see what’s happening in my peripheral, so I don’t look at anything or anywhere I’m not supposed to. I’ve been trying anything I can to prevent it, but I’d love for some tips or anything you may think is helpful.

Hey there. First off, a close family member of mine is also fascinated with those kinds of things as well. If they put thoughts into your head I would definitely go talk to her about it so it stops bothering you, or maybe even change the subject when she’s talking about those sorts of things (if that will work). But you should also try to move past the thoughts. I know easier said than done, but it can be done and I think it’ll help a lot more too. As for the actions and thoughts, I totally understand. I have this as well and it really bothers me. When this happens to me I remind myself that it’s my OCD trying to pop in and that the thought doesn’t matter at all and continue on with the action. I know it’s difficult, and this may not work for you, but you may even come up with something on your own that helps more. I mean of course it’s always worth a try. I know this wasn’t anything new but I hope this helps nonetheless.

You are fine trust me. This has happened to me before too and I thought the same, but no it doesn’t mean it’s contaminated. I’ve noticed it happens if you leave out water and it’s been sitting for while, but it’s fine it’s not expired or anything because water can’t expire.

Last night I was just listening to music I enjoy when out of nowhere I got another really graphic, disturbing thought about a kid. No big surprise there, I’m used to them and I know I can’t control it. It’s not the thought that bothers me, it’s the reaction afterwards.. it’s the intentional smile or laugh when I should be feeling disgusted or freaked out. So I obviously smiled at the thought but this time it was intentional and it felt very creepy and strange to me, to be smiling over something so disturbing and something that really isn’t cute for funny whatsoever. Then I go on my whole reassurance cycle. I google everything I can, then find nothing and start freaking out. After, I ask questions on multiple websites until I get the answer I want and then from there slowly start to come down from my worry fest. Later on I find out that the reassurance really did nothing for me and it made things worse in the end. I’ve been proud however, because about a day ago I had a bunch of thoughts and I have this weird thing where I’m very careful with where I look in my peripheral, and if it did happen I just let it go. It felt awesome and it was so much better than having to search the answer on google for hours on end. But when the smile happened yesterday I felt so guilty and I felt like a bad person all over again. It’s sucks too because I was doing so well and then it happened and ruined everything. It’s just the reaction to the thoughts I can never seem to let go of and I have no idea why. Especially when they are intentional like this one. It just stays there. I remember in my last post I got a lot of helpful responses, but this time it’s slightly different because this one was intentional where as last time I wasn’t sure if it was or not. I know you guys are probably tired of hearing about it and I get it trust me, I’m tired of experiencing it, but you have to be patient with me because I’m fairly new to this whole OCD thing. I remember struggling as a kid but I never thought anything of it, and now I’m older it seemed to have come back 50 times worse. I’ve noticed that my OCD changes every other day and turns into something worse. It’s not fun but I’m really hoping I’ll someday be able to manage all this and get my normal life back because I miss it a lot. I would love nothing more but to see a professional, but sadly I can’t because of covid, so I hope that this is over soon. I think I’m going to take a break from here so I’m forced to stop asking for reassurance. I would love to hear some feedback on this. Thank-you for reading about my stresses/rant. I hope everyone has a wonderful day/night.

Let me just say this. While I understand what you’re saying, at the same time I’ve noticed that not a lot of people post frequently on here and I can’t really help that.. I have waited 2 days to post before, but people were still replying to mine and it kept popping up as one of the first ones on there. But I get what you mean about losing track of the threads.. However, I would really appreciate that you only reply to mine if it’s specifically about what I posted.. because I got my hopes up that someone finally replied and then it wasn’t even about the post. I understand that it may be annoying to some that I post frequently, and for that I apologize.. I’m trying to prevent myself from posting as much, and I know that “reassurance” isn’t good, but isn’t that the whole point of this forum? Because it allows people to post about their struggles and get support from others. But again I say, I get you. Thank-you for understanding, and I hope you have a good day.

Someone? Please help. I’ve been obsessing over this for days now and stuff like this keeps happening.. ugh

Yes, I know...

Hey. Sorry that this is kind of out of nowhere, and I’m sorry to bother you. I know that this is technically asking for reassurance but I just can’t help myself because it’s really bothering me now. It happened again where I had a horrible thought but I had a weird, slightly disgusted smile on my face (if that makes any sense) I’m not sure how to explain it but my teeth where clenched kind of into a smile but I looked like I was slightly disgusted. There was still a smile on my face... but it didn’t really feel like I was disgusted by it.. I really need to let this go.. again I’m so sorry for bothering you. Sometimes I feel better talking about these things even though I know reassurance isn’t necessarily good.

It bothers me so so much. Like earlier when I was at a store I saw this package and at first glance it looked like something inappropriate and I had to double check it and now I feel bad for even thinking and checking it again. It looked like (and excuse me for being graphic) but it looked like a kid with their legs open and I felt so absolutely horrible about it.. I don’t know what to do about it anymore..

Hi everyone. I’ve just been struggling a lot with POCD recently, and I’m not sure how to let these go. Because it’s easier said than done. Anyway, There was this photo of this kid sitting on the floor and their back was facing towards the camera and I looked at their bum for a couple of seconds and I didn’t look away and then I felt absolutely horrible and disgusting.. it’s things like this that happen and then I’m forced to post about it because how am I supposed to let something this bad go? Then, a person I follow on social media posts two different photos of celebrities, one is an adult, which is the one I know, and a younger kid which I don’t know. But when I thought about them posting the kid I felt aroused(?!) by it and the scary thing is I continued to think about it intentionally (like why?) did I continue to think about it? Was it because I liked it?! Or did I enjoy thinking about it because the feeling arousal?! I only followed the account because of the adult. But when I think of the adult celebrity (the one I like, obviously) I don’t feel anything but when I think of the kid I get aroused(?!) by it. And my mind was like “I can just sit here and enjoy the feeling of the arousal/groinal response (whatever it was) while thinking about it.” And for a second it felt like I did enjoy it and it felt like I was so open to just doing it. I’m absolutely horrified. It’s so hard for me not to post because again I say things like this happen and then I believe I’m a bad person. Sorry this is so long. What do you think about all this? Should I let it go? How do I?

Thank-you so much for your help

Thank-you for your help. I know seeking reassurance is bad but I just struggle so much that I don’t know what to do or I feel like it’ll destroy me on the inside. Stuff like that keeps happening to me and I remind myself of what I bad person I am for it.. I just feel horrible. It happened again today and it felt like I did it intentionally but then I don’t remember.. ugh it’s just an endless cycle. Anyway, I’ll try to stop seeking reassurance. It’ll be hard, and I know some days I’ll give in. Thank-you again for your help I appreciate it.

Just recently I was reading these scripts with a family member. When they were reading what they were about out loud they said “Wow this one is going to hit me in all my spots.” Even though I know in the back of my head what they meant by it and I know it wasn’t supposed to be inappropriate I still made a kind of awkward and slightly judgey/grossed out face. Even though they didn’t see it I still feel bad for it.. I obsess over the littlest of things and I’m wondering how to not let them get to me, because sometimes they bother me a lot.