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000

Bulletin Board User
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About 000

  • Birthday 01/01/1872

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Living with OCD
  • Type of OCD
    Mental Contamination, as well as other contaminants (not germs). Peadophile OCD as well as Sexual Oriantation, Somatic OCD, and generally get nervous over nothing quite a lot

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    United Kingdom

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  1. It’s because you’re fixating on NOT having those feelings, so therefore you end up (supposedly) getting those ‘feelings’. It’s exactly the same thing that keeps people stuck with a ton of OCD concerns be it Peadophilia, Sexual Orientation, Harm, and also Somatic. (+ anything else) The less you care about how you feel, the less you’ll have these ‘feelings’. You think OCD isn’t convincing? That’s exactly what makes it a disorder in the first place. If none of it ‘felt real’, then you’d just discard all of it, wouldn’t you? You’re right about that, and that thing was OCD. Thats exactly what OCD does to everyone that has it! It’s really tough, but the key is to just not give a sh*t and have a “yeah, whatever” attitude towards it all. I spent years being scared of being a peadophile. But eventually I just decided that I couldn’t care less whether I am or not. The fear wasn’t worth it anymore and I decided to just embrace it. But obviously it turns out there was nothing to embrace anyway because I’m not lol! But once I didn’t care anymore, every feeling I had around the subject gradually faded and OCD just decided to latch to something else instead as it does lol! So yeah. Take the ‘leap of faith’ and accept that your feelings mean absolutely nothing.
  2. The latest worry always feels like the worst worry. The next one will eventually be replaced too. And so will the next, and the next. And I still struggle with it myself. Isn’t it strange though how we’re able to help with each other’s obsessions while sounding like we don’t have OCD ourselves? Everyone has their own batch of obsessions and worries which are entirely in their heads. Even people with OCD can see past each other’s obsessions, but to the person with the particular obsession, it feels completely real despite you yourself knowing that it’s OCD! Pesky OCD. Grr..
  3. Often people get stuck on a specific obsession which they have a hard time overcoming, but when your mind is flicking around changing obsession literally by the day, there comes a time where you need to put the brakes on and realise what’s actually happening. The level of absurdity. I’m guilty of it myself. I’ve gotten myself so wound up and worried to the point where I just talk absolute bullsh*t. I know what it’s like. It’s what OCD does. I know how you feel, and I know how difficult it is, but you need to realise what an OCD obsession really is, and learn to respond to them in a better way. And that is to just dismiss. I often have lots of ‘triggers’ throughout the day, but I’ve gotten better at discarding them before OCD takes hold of them. I’m no expert at it, but I’m getting there. You must know how ridiculous these concerns are, right? Otherwise you wouldn’t be posting it on the OCD forum. All OCD obsessions are the same, and they all need to be treated the same. So yeah. Hopefully it’s something we’ll both be able to work on! :-)
  4. The fact that you’re visiting your elderly grandparents has meant that your OCD has rubbed its hands in anticipation at the best way to get you to worry. And isn’t covid a good way to do that? Germs - OCD loves them because they’re invisible and filled with uncertainty! And in regards to biting your finger, there’s nothing gross about that. I’ve never had any OCD obsessions around germs, and I never wash my hands before eating. It doesn’t concern me even the tiniest little bit. That’s just because my OCD hasn’t latched to it. But the stuff that my OCD has latched to, it blows it 100,000,000 times out of proportion, so I know what it’s like! You should completely disregard any concern you have surrounding this, as it’s completely irrational. But I know it’s far from easy. Hope you have a good flight and enjoy your visit! All the best. :-)
  5. Yeah, you’re absolutely right. I know what needs to be done, but I guess I’m just having trouble doing it on my own without any proper personalised CBT. I don’t know really. It’s such a deep rooted mental contamination problem which I need to officially come to terms with and get to the bottom of what’s causing so much distress. My mind automatically rejects anything to do with these thoughts / memories and tries to squirm it’s self away from it all. And I’m left with this constant mental virus feeling because it’s like the ‘meaning’ is a physical thing which can be endlessly spread in some sort of superstitious way and ‘contaminate’ and ‘tarnish’ everything it comes into contact with. You are absolutely right though. For the time being I’m going to just leave it as it is. It’s been 2 weeks now, but I can keep it going for longer I guess. But I don’t know if the problem can be solved just from exposing myself to it. I need to properly sort out the thinking behind why I consider it contaminated in the first place. A very uncomfortable subject, but I’ll have to go over it in CBT I guess. In regards to CBT, I really hope it’s alright. As I say, I’ve never had it before but I know I need it. Thanks for your message
  6. Hiya, Northpual. Yes, that is an excellent point. The thing is though, I think I am actually going to have to backtrack again and do compulsions to undo this. I think I’m doing myself more harm than good by doing what I’m doing. I’ve become a ‘master of management’ of my OCD in some way (depending on how you look at it). I managed to whittle it all down into just one tiny little area in one room. As long as I avoid that area of the room, it’s almost like I don’t even have contamination OCD, and I feel completely free from it minus that tiny little unimportant area of the room. Avoiding it isn’t even a big deal, and I’ve been doing so for years with minimal issues. I know this is still an OCD problem that I’m avoiding something for no good reason, but is it really such a big deal if avoiding it has no significant impact on my life? I’ve gradually reduced my contamination OCD down and hacked away at it little by little, but this particular problem has been jammed deep down for years and I am unable to shift it. That small area of the room is like radioactive, and coming into contact with it causes an instant change to my brain chemistry, making me very stressed out. And having all my stuff ‘contaminated’ by it makes this feeling not go away. I don’t think the distress is worth it just so I can touch a small area of carpet. The negative outweighs the positive. I just wanted to completely overcome everything to do with my OCD, but I think I’m causing more harm in doing so. If it were actually something debilitating, then pushing through the distress would be worth it. But for me, the distress is more debilitating than avoiding a small area of a room. What is OCD management anyway? Is it removing every single OCD problem regardless of the cost, or is it making OCD have both minimal debilitation and minimal distress caused by it? I had already achieved the 2nd one. But exposing myself to this is undoing that. I don’t really know what to do. I think I’m going to always have OCD. I’ve never had any CBT, but I’m on the list for it.
  7. I’m finally facing up to my biggest OCD ‘problem’. I won’t go into details as to not feed the obsession, but it’s been a massive contamination obsession with years worth of avoidance and compulsions. I’ve given up on every single avoidance compulsion, deliberately exposing myself to the ‘contamination’ constantly. I’m letting the ‘contamination’ spread far and wide on to absolutely everything. This is very difficult though. This is my 3rd attempt at doing this, as the other 2, I eventually caved into the distress and did a massive backtrack of compulsions which took hours to do. Of course after I did that I felt fine again but it meant I was still back at the start with the same problem again. So this time I absolutely refuse to give in. I’m extremely uncomfortable with the thought of everything becoming ‘contaminated’, but I need to come to terms with the fact that it’s all illusionary and based off a false conceptual way of thinking. Much easier said than done though. You know the feeling you get when you’re upside down? All the blood rushes to your head, and you feel dizzy and uneasy. It pretty much feels like that constantly, but just to varying degrees, with a bunch of stress on top. It’s sucks all the energy and personality out of me. I get kind of consumed by it at times. The thing is though, a major part of the fear is that this feeling will never pass and that I’ll always be stuck with it. I’ve had this exact feeling from many other obsessions before as well, and they have eventually passed. So I’m going to try not to let that concern me. OCD is very tough to overcome, but I’m giving it my best shot. It’s so hard to break habits and rituals which I’ve spent years reinforcing. I can quite easily cut the C from my OCD, but it’s the O as a consequence which is the real problem.
  8. You couldn’t pay me to do my compulsions; It would never be worth it. In relation to having a job with OCD, having the job consist of OCD compulsions is obviously not was meant… And what is ‘Cleaning OCD’? A fear of cleaning?
  9. Hey, Dandy. To me that seems exactly like a confession compulsion. You say he’s gay, so you probably know it was likely just a “friendly” thing? I’ve seen it many times lol! Think about it this way though; What would be the genuine reason behind telling your boyfriend? So he can go and ‘have a word with him’? If you’re not wanting him to do anything with that information, then there’s no need for him to know. Even if he wasn’t gay, and was being ‘more than friendly’, the same principle generally applies. This idea of “Trust and honesty” is something which OCD plays into very heavily. It sort of has a ‘magical thinking’ effect to it where you feel you’re always keeping MASSIVE SECRETS!!! But in reality, they’re nothing worth thinking of in this way. Of course, you could casually bring the ‘incident’ up in conversation, and that would be entirely normal, but thinking about it in this way seems to me to be very OCD-driven. I’ve dealt with it in many different ways before. You can tell him about this, but you’ll have something else you’ll want to ‘confess’ very shortly after. It’s a much better route to take to challenge it a bit and change your go-to response whenever something ‘happens’. Well, that’s my verdict, anyway. Hope it helps you in some way!
  10. Hi, Rosie. With the greatest respect to him, your partner doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about. It’s important to remember that your sex drive isn’t actually high, you’re just being tricked into believing it is with mimicking sensations. You asked previously if this is something similar to what I experienced, and to a degree it’s quite similar I reckon. It’s pretty embarrassing, but I had somatic OCD focused on my ass lol. I had no clue what was going on and I felt absolutely sick. It felt hyper sexual, tingly, buzzy and just all round horrible. I thought I had some sort of hyper gay sex drive going mad or something stupid lol. It lasted over a month, driving me up the wall. I was just trying to go about my business like normal while constantly having these disgusting intense nerve malfunctions. I feared it would never go away. If nobody told me it’s somatic OCD, I bet it would still be doing it now. It’s an absolutely horrible feeling, but it does fade away, I promise. With regards to your partner, since it’s an OCD issue, unless he is knowledgeable about OCD it may be best to not mention it. I was thinking of telling one of my mates what was going on with me to ask if it ever happens to him, and I’m so glad I didn’t. It doesn’t happen to other people to this extent. He would’ve completely misunderstood, same as your partner. It’s an OCD thing. Look after yourself, it’s not your fault you’ve got this problem.
  11. There certainly is a ‘cure’. It’s a long drawn out and rough journey, but eventually it’s 100% possible to reach a point where OCD plays no significant (or even slight) part in your life. It’s a bit like a ‘puzzle’ at times, and I think you really have to be able to take a step back and revise over yourself and spot where you’re going wrong in your thinking patterns. People without OCD already have that puzzle solved for them subconsciously, but we need to intervene and reorganise ours manually. Completely doable, but it takes time! I’m still not there myself, but I know I will get there eventually. I suppose it is true that we may always have a slightly different initial reaction towards stuff than someone without OCD, but with the right methods you can identify dismiss the faulty OCD thoughts every single time and not give them a second or even single thought.
  12. Oh, yes. Even when you think you’ve got it all figured out and you’re on the right track, OCD often still finds a way to throw a spanner in the works, completely catching you out. I’ve found the same thing. I have spent months working towards recovery and gotten used to identifying many different aspects and changing my approach towards them. But still, every time something different comes up, if feels a bit like square one. “No, this time it’s different!”. Ultimately, you just treat all of it the same. Some will feel more real and more urgent than than others, but I think you’ve got it figured out so I reckon you can get through it!
  13. Hey, Rosie. It certainly could be Somatic OCD (when you’re hyper focused on sensations). I had a very rough time about a month ago with that, until I was made aware of what it was. It certainly can mess with your sexual feelings and nerves! What worked for me was sort of trying to step away from it in your head, and tried my best to stop interacting with it and wondering what’s going on or what it means. The more I tried to make it stop, the more I felt it. Basically the same as stopping ruminating, but it’s a bit more difficult when it’s physical sensations as it can be hard to forget. Whenever I started getting worked up about it, I’d take a step back to calm down and think “OCD, OCD”. I had to do it very persistently just to keep calm about it. Very soon after I started doing that, it begun to fade and within days it vanished. I’m very confident it’s Somatic OCD. It doesn’t indicate or mean anything and it’s the same as being hyper aware of any other sensation. It will pass!
  14. Hey, Cora. When I look back through your account, I feel quite bad that it’s almost like you’re just copy-pasting your posts from 3 years ago. I did type out a whole essay for you, but ultimately, you’ve been told it all before many times. All I can do for you (that nobody else already has), is show you this video which you may not have seen. It’s an OCD-Action conference about sexual thoughts and intrusions. For me, this video was absolute GOLD! https://youtu.be/lHwhMeaSiAw When you have the time, please sit down and properly try to take in and understand what is being said. Treat it like you’re studying about OCD. Hope it helps.
  15. That’s certainly a possibility if he struggles with sensory overload in general. Just out of interest, does he happen to have autism by any chance? It’s just that sensory overload is a rather typical thing with autism. You could be right about the sensory overload. Does he have sensory overload in different places, or just his room? As far as I’m aware, with sensory overload, there isn’t really any ‘thought process’ behind it. It’s an irritant like having the sun in your eyes, and then trying to do something about it. It’s not triggered by any sort of faulty thought patterns like OCD is since the ‘obsession’ is genuinely real to someone with sensory problems, whereas in OCD it’s irrationally made up in your head. But if you don’t mind me asking, do you know in what particular ways his OCD effects him? That could lead a good bit of insight into what it is. But then again, if you’re only seeing his visible compulsions, that doesn’t necessarily tell you very much about the obsession which is driving them. Often there isn’t even a logical link between obsessions and compulsions. To sum it up, if it’s because of sensory overload problems, then it will probably solve his problem or at least help. But if it’s because of OCD, it probably won’t actually solve the real problem. It will temporarily relieve anxiety, until it latches to something else. Hopefully getting the room done will actually help him, but as you say, without knowing the reason it’s difficult to know if it will. Hope that helps
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