Caramoole

I wasn't aware of any child suffering from mental health problems when I was young. Maybe an odd child who was more nervy, sensitive or shy but not in a clinical sense. Obviously I was a child and not able to hake a true assessment, there would have been youngsters suffering silently......but overall, I do think this is a problem that is far greater today than it was 60 years ago

Agree with Malina.......under normal circumstances there would be lots of things I'd suggest but for now ......enjoy the Ball, do what it takes, enjoy and then continue with the challenges after the ball is over

Howard, I honestly appreciate your intent is genuine but without being in possession of the full picture, the history....tinkering around the edges is not going to help much. For sure the mind needs stimulation.....the whole living regime needs changing but this is something we've been discussing for many years and it's something Phili has struggled to change. This is very understandable given the only life she's experienced. Forgive me Phili.....I hope you don't mind me trying to give a bit of an insight

Do it now......you're doing your best & getting out.....fine-tune it. Off your phone while you're out, no OCD talk.....be in the moment....use that mindfulness & give no extra oxygen to OCD during those times, make them count.

Perhaps take a little time to look back at Phili's very early threads. A complex and long history leading to Phili having been housebound since she was 12, 25 years or so

I think that is probably because although they are following techniques on specific bits, it isn't across the board and other behaviours are still sneaking in in a general sense. As an example, I agree with Paul......I wouldn't be checking in to the forum when I was out and about, in M & S or the cafe. You have to ask why. Is it for comfort, for a tiny bit of reassurance......there is a reason and it's not to pick up an important piece of information that wouldn't wait for a couple of hours. We also have to look at the self-talk that's going on......"I can't stand this......why can't it stop, please make this go away, this is so awful" etc etc. There will be lot's of other things going on that we perhaps haven't identified as such. It's brilliant that you're getting out and I know it's not easy when you feel rough.....but what Paul says is good advice. When you're out "ditch" any communication with OCD, put your phone away....make your trips out free of any interaction with all things OCD. You are a great proponent of Mindfulness, use it in these situations.....bring your brain back to the here and now....the food or sweaters you're looking at, the food and drink you're having, the surroundings.....the conversations you're having. Be mindful of where your thoughts are going, when they're slipping off into rumination. Ban all talk of OCD when you're out....even to Julie. She does indeed Just like you can build muscle in the gym.....over time you can steadily build mental muscle but you won't if your belief is that you're weak & fragile. It might not be a quick fix but it starts with changing the things we say to ourselves. Well done for getting out

Problem is that this is just a current intrusion, it wouldn't be an answer to look up details of every film/book that cropped up as a trigger

Good Miserable day here, hope you have it a bit brighter

I truly understand how wretched you're feeling but I still feel that the extensive postings do contain a lot of compulsions. I understand it but I do think it is part of the problem. Hope you have a better day

Not now Roy, you clearly need some time out to relax......but in time, maybe have a think about this I don't think anyone has been unpleasant but have challenged thinking, the two are different.

Some of the techniques used for anxiety can be tricky with OCD if not used carefully and can sometimes become compulsions used to neutralise troubling thoughts.

I would say that most are......the result of OCD, of feeling compelled to do something to resolve the anxiety. This need to constantly go over, to discuss, to repeat statements are all a form of rumination, a form of self-reassurance, a need to convince oneself.....and you really struggle not to do it. It's not a criticism, it's something that happens but it's only by being aware of what we might be doing that enables us to change those behaviours

I still feel that this is a critical area for you

Have you convinced yourself yet? This/these are the type of thoughts you've been having for decades. You know they are OCD. You don't believe the intrusions. You know that they have no reflection on your core self or values. But they upset & distress you......aka OCD..........and yet, you are still trying to analyse things, ruminating, self-reassuring etc. That's the most important thing to be looking at, the various compulsions that help sustain things

Once again Cora this thread is doing nothing positive at all. It's simply something that allows you to play out compulsions whilst doing nothing to address them. I get it as to how much you struggle, how hard it is but you're preaching to the converted here.......people who struggle similarly but take on board the advice and slowly start to try and make some changes. What will it take to make you do this. If you wait to feel worthy, good about yourself, certain, convinced etc.....you'll wait forever in this waking Hell. Do something.

Thought-action fusion is the belief that thinking about a negative or immoral action is equally as bad as actually committing the action itself.

Pretty much the same could apply to any intrusive thought. Someone sees a tiny brown speck on the carpet (probably a crumb of chocolate one of the kids dropped) but the person thinks faeces....contamination. This is going to spread, someone will get ill & maybe die and it will be me that caused it if I don't clean it. Someone makes a wonderful steak dinner for their wife, peppercorn sauce, roasties, the lot but suddenly see the steak knife.....they are suddenly filled with terror that they may go mad & become a danger, they've seen stuff like that in the news. If OCD wasn't convincing it wouldn't wield the power it does. The use of the vicious flower diagram is there so that we can identify the thoughts that create & maintain the fear cycle and challenge/change the faulty thinking

Have you sent the e-mail to check on your appointment?

Principally we are an OCD support forum and although there is a time and place for general support for life issues, there is also a grave danger of offering support that is detrimental to moving forward from the grasp the disorder holds over us. I think most who have observed Cora's struggle over the last four years can probably see the harm over help that this will offer in helping Cora get control back. I appreciate that your concern & intent is genuine but don't think that line of support is appropriate in this setting. Perhaps it's something Cora can explore with a qualified therapist.

From memory, you've gone to one of the IAPT providers......in all honesty I found them as much use as a chocolate teapot. The practitioners weren't trained to deal with OCD and had scant knowledge about it, except for the most basic facts. Those questionnaires drove me nuts too. Good therapy is very effective, it's accessing it that's the problem. IAPT do have different levels of therapy, maybe you could have a chat with them and explain that you feel you could do with some more intense support.

If I were to sum OCD up in one sentence I'd say "The opposite is true"

Yes, but whatever we say won't make any difference other than for a few minutes Cora. That's why you need the help of an experienced therapist who can perhaps make a difference. All that we do here is provide reassurance and that doesn't (and has proven not to) help. Have you sent your chase-up e-mail yet?

I'm not sure what you're wanting here. Reassurance that you're a good person and no harm has been done? Confirmation that you're a bad, unworthy person? Reassurance that your OCD is at hand here?The opportunity to make a confession? None of this is helpful to you and your well-being. It doesn't help what advice we give here because it seems you're unable to work alone on the steps that need to be taken. Please chase up your therapy appointment so that you'll be able to work with someone who can help you out of this muddle

I think this us an absolute must. Our lives are not meant to be lived with every thought and feeling under scrutiny or as part of a therapy exercise. It begins to have the opposite effect and becomes unhealthy & unhelpful. As I've said before, I think the cure has become very much the cause. As GBG mentions, there is always a massive resistance to any suggestion that goes against the "theory" that you hold, which begs the question of what you are aiming to achieve with the threads

I think this us what we all basically feel Roy in varying ways. This is particularly true at the beginning of therapy but in the long-term, you shouldn't have to do this with every obsessive thought that presents, otherwise it just ties you to a hamster wheel for life