Caramoole

Are you talking of something hypothetical, a fear....or a situation that has occurred?

Agree

Dare I say......."Told ya" Seriously Summer, well done

Wishing you lots of luck and positive vibes Summer....you've done well

ÇYou're terrified because that's the conversation you're having with yourself. It's what you've been telling yourself for days, so it's hardly surprising you're terrified. Try and work on that rumination. Concentrate on the hairdressers, on the conversation, how great your hair looks put a phone number for a cab firm on your phone and remember, you can leave if you want. It might come as a surprise but not many people will be interested in you, they've gone out to enjoy a party, you're not that important Usually, yes.

Change "can't" to "can" You'd be better of putting some music on and dancing or running round the block/on the spot.....do something physical to burn the adrenaline off.

There's no need to dispose of them, keep them for emergency use only.....I wouldn't consider this party an emergency....yes it's provoking anxiety but try and use other methods to control that. With this sort of event you will be in endless debate and rumination with your inner chatterbox, work on recognising that and stopping the debate. In essence (oh that it were simple) but it's "you" who's winding up you.

Summer.....please, please, please only consider Diazepam for serious bouts of anxiety.....they're not the answer for getting through social situations. It's not a big deal...I know it seems so but it's only a party, you can use other measures or even leave. Benzodiazepines come with many dangers. I was addicted to them for 12 years and the problem is that it takes a very, very short time for addiction to occur. Also, it is a very short time before you develop a tolerance to the dose and they no longer work unless the dose is increased. It took me over two years to get off them and it was a living hell that makes anxiety and even OCD seem like a walk in the park. Please don't look at them as an easy way to float through challenging situations.

Walking in's the hard bit and the rest will calm down. You're in charge and you can leave whenever you want. Try to watch this internal thinking/rumination. You can do it......I think you might surprise yourself

Worto......I am a lot older than you, I've been through some very dark, seemingly impossible times........I've also lived a very successful life. Don't give up hope....hang on and reach out to your GP, A & E, Samaritans or all of them. You can and will get out of this and get to give your kids those gifts on their graduation or wedding day. Sending you strength

Sounds stylish & classy to me. I'm sure you'll look lovely .....and don't worry about therapy.....you don't need therapy for every aspect of your life.....knowledge in motion is often enough. And remember what I said......Why worry about being judged by bitchy, unpleasant people........hardly the sort to trust or admire, so not worthy of wasting the time or energy on. I wish I could teach my "young me" that. Right......try bury this now and give yourself a break until weekend

.....and don't say

Soooooo......what you wearing?

When it comes to other people, I ask myself, "Do I respect them & value their opinion?" If they're judgey & bitchy, almost certainly not

That's brilliant Summer and the first step towards success I'm not against this tbh. If it gets you through, call it a tool for now and one you'll work on reducing. When I was in my 20's I was a member of a sports club and there'd be ladies team dinners/night out and I would dread it, it would make me sick to the stomach. I would spend weeks imagining it, dreading it, always thinking about it, thinking of ways & excuses to get out of it. On the day itself I felt I'll, wondering how I'd cope. All of this was 20 years before I knew what OCD was, much less being aware of any should/should nots re dealing with it. I just decided that I'd go but gave myself permission that if I needed to, I could make up an excuse & simply leave. Having given myself control I found that I could do it and it wasn't bad at all. I never did need to leave. Over the years I went to parties, dinners, balls, chaired meetings, presented prizes and now can be Centre stage in front of hundreds of people......and I don't even feel nervous. So it can be done. You've made your decision, you have a plan in place......now use these next few days to stop the rumination that's fuelling the fear. Correction: I'm not against this tbh. If it gets you through, call it a tool - BUT I would try and avoid the Diazepam

Like all things, I suppose it depends on what preparation work a person does between the now and then. If we continue to ruminate, to play out the scary scenario, to visualise all the things that could go wrong......then we'll stay in a state of high anxiety and struggle. If you try and use CBT and look at the thoughts that are supporting the fear and to try and change that. To work hard to reduce any compulsions, particularly ruminations, then you should find things ease and you become mire able to cope.

Sometimes you've just got to pull the trigger & go for it. We're presuming this is all OCD whereas it looks to be a mixture of social anxiety, general anxiety with OCD thrown in. These sorts of fears often occur when we're younger, before we build confidence and self esteem.....it's good to start to tackle them when we're younger than letting them develop as we move forward. Summer had her harm fears, particularly when she started work, and yet she achieved that, she stayed in the job for over a year. She can do this too. She's in charge, she can change her mind at any time.....either before or on the night. In the meantime it helps to make a decision and then put the necessary measures in place to reduce the catastrophising.....particularly rumination (and any other compulsions). Rumination is already going on with a catalogue of "What If" and other scary thoughts......that rumination needs working on too but if we're going to address the internal chatterbox, better doing it with a positive goal in mind. Summer is young and I hope she can build on her skills now so that she isn't curtailed and restricted throughout life. You've shown how capable & strong you are Summer in the way you dealt with your first year at work. Build on those skills so that you continue to grow and develop them

Got to completely disagree with this one So what? In the unlikely event that imaginary scenario actually happens all that will matter is that your boyfriend is supportive and takes you home when you ask him to. What some unpleasant girls say about it is of zero consequence. And if they are judgemental and bitchy as you say then their opinion is of even less importance. Someone with the courage to face their fears - even if she has to run during the attempt! - is worth ten of any one nasty, judgemental person. Have some self-confidence. Hold your head up and don't assume that facing several fears at once is any worse than facing them one at a time. Sometimes it's actually easier! Don't let catastrophic imaginings ruin what could be a great experience for you. My advice is to go, and have fun! But do agree with the above Just give it your best shot. At worst, you can feign a migraine or stomach upset, call a cab and go home if needs be.......but I think you'll find that all the fear and anxiety is now, caused by thinking through the feared event.....when the event happens, it will likely be nothing like the thing you fear. Just go Summer.....give it your best shot.and if you do head off for home.....so what? Give yourself permission for a blip or credit if you cope....which I'm sure you will when the day comes

Very possibly, I agree

This is a bit of a common problem that people think they don't have compulsions because they're not carrying out a physical action. This is why we don't use the term Pure "O" because it won't be purely obsessional, there will be compulsions. These can take many forms like reciting a phrase, prayer, neutralising statement. It might be "thinking" things like "I would never do that". Rumination is probably the biggest compulsion we have. Things like reassurance seeking is another compulsion we often do. Usually we seek that from others but can actually self-reassure internally. Do you ever Google for information. There are so many but you will be doing compulsions even if they're not behavioural ones

I think it's very easy to develop compulsions and to not even realise they are compulsions. That's often when they can be working away in the background and maintaining the obsessions

I did this for years without recognising it was a compulsion. I started it initially as a recommendation from a therapist, to keep a thought log.....but the constant writing down of things, the referring back to things became a compulsion. It's easy to convince ourselves we are following a recognised method but with OCD it can be quite insidious and we can often use it for checking, for self-reassurance, a form of rumination etc even if we convince ourselves it's for the good

Yes, that's how you "feel" because you have OCD taunting you & creating this urge but you have to be honest with yourself and accept the cause, OCD. You want to tell him to get this uncomfortable urge off your back. It would be the same with any other form of OCD......the person who felt the overwhelming urge to scrub the kitchen down with bleach, just to be sure......or the person who had to shower again & change their clothes. You have to firstly accept the cause and then work at reducing/eliminating the compulsions. OCD urges will always feel real & compelling.....that's the "C" bit of OCD

I literally made a decision to I wasn't a confessor but I did used to seek a lot of reassurance. So when the urge came, I buttoned it and didn't. I might have said I was having a tough day or struggling but I actively worked at changing this. It's a win/win situation for both of you in the long run. I should also say, that I found this one of the easier compulsions to stop once I'd made my mind up to do so.